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Original poster

Guy I was chatting to on whatsapp just disappeared !

302 replies

AL75 · 04/12/2019 11:18

For a month now I was chatting on phone and messaging a guy I met online. Twice we had to postpone meeting due to ill health either he was not well or I was not well. Our last contact was last Thursday night and I have heard nothing since then, it's now been 6 days. I have noticed the last time he was on whatsapp was the last time he messaged me so he isn't communicating with anyone on whatsapp. He definitely has not blocked me as I can see his online status and no reason for him to stop contact as we were getting on extremely well. I called 2 days ago twice and went straight to voicemail. I have no idea if something tragic has happened to him and no way of finding out. I don't know what to think anymore as this is quite uncharacteristic of him to do this. It has been now 6 days which is very unusual for him not to get in touch. At the beginning I was angry that he wasn't going on whatsapp not reading my messages but now it looks like he isn't using his phone completely and am now worried and extremely sad that it looks like it's come to an end. If he was physically able to, he could log on to dating site he found me on from pc and message me that way but he hasn't and not answering to mail from site that I am sending. I don't know what to think. Every morning he used to whatsapp me good morning or every other morning around 5.45 am before he went on his morning run and am worried something happened last Friday when I heard nothing. I feel so devastated 😔

OP posts:
isitxmasyet · 04/12/2019 21:19

OP you sound so desperate not to believe what is staring everyone else in the face

I know when it all seems so great chatting it feels utterly impossible that they have just changed their minds like that.

But he may have been chatting with several
Women from different OLD sites and now shut you off as someone else has clicked

It’s not difficult to just not use WhatsApp to avoid being on line and your number can be set to go straight to voicemail.

Please don’t demean yourself by calling him or doing anymore desperate detective work

If the 0.5% chance that he has been hospitalised or killed are true then you may have lots a potential partner but think about this rationally- you hadn’t even met him in the flesh. You didn’t actually know what he looked like or if anything he was telling you was true. It wasn’t a relationship

It was just a month of texts.

MOVE. ON

MyKingdomForBrie · 04/12/2019 21:20

I can see this mystery is driving you nuts OP, and of course however likely it is that everyone is right there is always the possibility that something has happened to him. Either way though, there's nothing you can do to find out so you really just need to try and move on.

MarianaMoatedGrange · 04/12/2019 21:27

There is a touch of the Miss Havisham about OP.

Lampan · 04/12/2019 21:36

To be entirely fair, I was once messaging someone on Tinder and the conversation went quiet, it turns out he had died (I heard about it through mutual friends and then realised it was the same guy)
I have also had many, many conversations online that have just fizzled out. So many times. On the balance of probabilities he has likely just lost interest for whatever reason.
I don’t know if I’d even call it ‘ghosting’ if you’ve never even met him! Just an online chat fizzling out.

Cheeseboardcriminal · 04/12/2019 22:07

They sat the most simple answer is usually the truth. He was married and using a second phone. He has been caught out by his wife.

A huge amount of men on old sites are married and looking for a hook up.

ims0rrydarlin · 04/12/2019 23:31

May have changed his number.

I did that once years ago. Was talking to people and when my new sim came, popped it in and that was that. Didn’t give it to anyone. They still probably see my last seen from then and go to voicemail too.

BallacheForLife · 04/12/2019 23:31

OP are you listening to what the vast majority of people on this thread are saying?
Do you believe them?

anothernamejeeves · 05/12/2019 00:40

53MaryPopppins just a normal conversation we have always had, ended sweetly with a kiss

Dear dear me. Your mind is on another planet altogether. I think some counselling to work on your self esteem and attachment issues is needed

StaffordshireLass · 05/12/2019 03:20

Some of you women are down right nasty. I feel sorry for the OP reading some of the comments. It’s easy to get so emotionally invested in someone so soon now days especially when they are texting in the mornings. All the assumptions about him being married too. Give a guy a chance. I’m not denying he might be but I prefer to look on the bright side.

OP I online dated for ages and usually it means they’ve met someone else and it’s harsh but it’s what dating is like. I’ve been ghosted and ghosted overs. Dating is hard work xx

WatchingTheMoon · 05/12/2019 03:41

"Give a guy a chance. I’m not denying he might be but I prefer to look on the bright side."

It's not looking on the bright side, it's not being naive. You said yourself she's probably been ghosted.

I feel like I read this thread every day. "Do you think he's in hospital?" "He might have lost his phone."

Bullshit. If someone wants to be in contact, they will be. It's not a Hollywood movie.

feistymumma · 05/12/2019 03:41

@wheresmymojo hilarious

TheWifeAtHome · 05/12/2019 03:46

You've probably been chatting to my soon to be ex husband.
He has a false alias he uses for extra marital shagging and more.
He strings,women along on what's app chats sounding all very lovely and genuine. Gives out 100% false details of a decent sounding man. Not sure if his current details but used to say he was a computer tech or something called Jack.
The reason he's gone no contact with you is because his shitty payg not sosecret shag phone is currently locked in his car in the airport car park. He was called away abroad to work at v short notice last Thursday and left immediately. I know it is true he is working in an foreign country right now as he is there with someone I know and trust.
He's due back in just over a week so if he thinks you'll let him play hide the sausage with you at some point in the future I'm sure he'll be back in touch soon to string you along with lovely chats and bullshit after he returns to the UK.

Mookie81 · 05/12/2019 06:51

You're not going to listen. I hope you get your movie ending.

Depends which movie. Does it involve boiling bunnies? Xmas Grin

RLOU30 · 05/12/2019 07:06

Just read through this thread in one hit and what a nasty bunch some of you are. You will stoop so fucking low to try and get a laugh won’t you. I didn’t so much as grin. You say the OP needs help on her self esteem or counselling but do you think this is any way to treat someone who may or may not be emotionally fragile ? What on Earth goes through your minds.

I am not referring to people giving the OP straight advice.

shiveringsparklingtimber · 05/12/2019 07:21

All this nasty, catty behaviour! MN at its worst.

fuzzymoon · 05/12/2019 07:44

I know someone who the person she talked to did this.

It turned out that he was in an accident and in ICU.

Sometimes there are other explanations.

forumdonkey · 05/12/2019 07:46

It's painful to watch OPs posts. Just going through a divorce, has a DC and so heavily invested in a complete stranger. It's a dangerous mindset.

YOU DON'T KNOW THIS MAN, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE, HE'S A STRANGER.

Ilovenutellaaaaa · 05/12/2019 07:49

Op do you have a friend or family member that has WhatsApp, get them to add his number, and see if his last read date is the same...if you know his name you could just look on Facebook or Twitter for him too

ferrier · 05/12/2019 07:55

OP has already done that Hmm

Miniloso · 05/12/2019 08:06

Really harsh replies from some of you. Shame on you for having a laugh at the expense of the OP.

Sux2buthen · 05/12/2019 08:10

Agreed @Miniloso
Whether the op is overinvested or not she's still hurt.

afterme · 05/12/2019 08:15

Are the replies that harsh? I don’t see it. Most posters just said it as it is but op hasn’t acknowledged what anyone has said, harsh or not.

happycamper11 · 05/12/2019 10:43

When someone block you on what's app it keeps all the current and previous conversations and you can still see their user name and the last time they were online before they blocked you. This happens almost constantly on OLD. I've no idea why people go to the effort of having daily conversations to then just ignore you one day but they do.. often I think because they've found what they thing is a better option who they will then do the same to in 6 weeks time. I hugely doubt anything has happened to him

Crystal87 · 05/12/2019 10:55

It could be any number of reasons, none of them good. Most likely is that he's married/ attached and he's been caught out or lost his nerve before meeting you, or that he's been chatting to someone else, maybe multiple people, and he's lost interest. He will have a second phone. Although it's not nice and it is hurtful to be on the end of ghosting, he doesn't really owe you anything.

happycamper11 · 05/12/2019 10:59

Sorry, read the updates now.. he has spare SIM cards 💁🏼‍♀️