Dating Thread 175 - It's not you, it's them. Also: people are weird at Christmas time.

[MoreNiceCereal]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

😂😂😂😂

My fave is just to say it’s obvious we are looking for different things . Which could mean anything 😂 and no one ever asked me to expand on that

Exactly Jane! :-) Menora certainly isn't looking for a sword chasing, leg jittering, frying pan throwing tight man is she!

No 😂😂😂. But in their mind they can imagine it’s just different levels of commitment so his heart doesn’t break

if she does need to expand though - I'm sure the above will do the job nicely.

I could let the leg jittering go but multi hundred pound sword buying and pan throwing are hard limits for me

I forgot the joys of being asked 15 times a day how I am

welcome back to app dating. Where its either banal or bonkers and nothing in between

The ones that I hate most are the ones that use the wrong your in how’s your day and don’t even use a question mark 😂

@jane stuff like that grates on me too. Or ' Hi Babe'

Well Jane1978xx you'd simply adore the message I got just now who is trying the apps as he is so "bizzy"

Omg 😂 Is he 15 ?

No, no he's 40

I don't know how long I'll have tinder downloaded, its just awful. At least bumble you get some conversation even if its only saying your tits look perky

@phanny haha....what is this app where you get told your tits are perky? please?

Bumble- to be fair they are perky, but all boobs are with six inches of padding and underwire that could hold traffic on a bridge

I can’t wear an underwired bra anymore 😂

I can’t face going back on the apps right now 😂 but I am going to block off Polite on Bumble

What works in my favour is that he almost never texts me first so I have a bit of time to compose myself. I was meant to be spending the day with him tomorrow!

Hello fellow daters. I'm having an insecure moment due to dating a man 7 years my junior 😨 I know I'm gorgeous and funny and clever and easy company but I cannot imagine for the life of me why a man in his 20s would be interested unless he just wants to shag a milf. We've had 5 dates, we get on brilliantly, we've arranged another date for next week and an overnight for next weekend but I'm having a sudden attack of insecurity. If we sleep together and then he disappears it'll break me!! Not particularly because of how much I like him but more because it's happened to me before and I don't want to go through it again so if I can prevent it happening then I want to! Whether that's by calling things off now or having a conversation about it. Advice please!!

@peanut...don't worry, it's only 7 years, not a huge deal anyway. Try not to let your own insecurities ruin a good thing - easier said than done I know, I do it all the time. That's my advice though xx

I'm playing it a lot cooler with Mr Straight now, he seems to be chasing more. Maybe he just likes the games...I like him but I refuse to let him take up any more of my valuable headspace.

5 dates without sex he’s into you for real or he’d be gone. If he just wanted sex if he’d not got it in a date or 2 then he would be gone already . Maybe speak to him and say you are nervous and it’s a big deal and you hope it won’t change the dynamics

Thanks banghead but how do I know it's a good thing and not a fake thing? I had what I thought was a really good thing with a man around 2 months ago, it was a flurry of excitement for about 3 weeks then he dropped off the earth. I've dated loads and thought I had my head screwed on and that guy totally floored me because we got on so well I'd thought it was mutual. Literally as soon as we dtd he vanished.

He can sit on the idea of me not being all over him, and if he decides to man the fuck up and ask me out he can, but until he does, I'm not going to be available constantly for him.

I don't know peanut, maybe don't have sex with him yet if you don't feel ready, if he is kind he will understand, maybe explain that to him as well and see if he sticks around.

but as Jane said he has stuck around so far, 5 dates is quite good going.

Peanut unless you run away from this I don't think you can prevent it happening. If he's that kind of guy (eg. Cowardly) he'll go ahead and do it. Sadly there's no real answer or advice for this awful experience.
I know what you mean. I was ghosted a few times by a fuckboy and it is a special kind of torment. It does break your spirit and leaves horrible scars.