Dating Thread 175 - It's not you, it's them. Also: people are weird at Christmas time.

[MoreNiceCereal]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@UtterSocks Maybe say roughly what you said here but not so bluntly. That you enjoyed the conversations with him, that he seems like a decent bloke, but you don't see anything romantic developing between you, and thank him for considering you.

Haha thanks @Jane1978xx and @Hairyarsedman - I would never be so blunt as I am on here Good suggestions, thank you! I shall get rid of him tactfully and nicely...

Ok so a couple more irons too, I'm racking them up. I forgot how much of a full time job it is. Lucky I'm off work this week 😂

So there's Mr Fluorescent who is incredibly good looking. And seems quite sweet.

The one i want to go on a date with most is Mr Hair (I love the look of his hair!). He looks my type tbh. Seems nice and has a good profile. I've asked him for a drink so let's see

That’s itc@TimeTravellingDiamond, you go for it! Good luck with MrHair

Well he seemed keen but his replies aren't the quickest... mind you I'm a phone addict and send a lot of messages 😂

He is 29 and looks fit. Lush hair. Good looking and my type. Lives about 45 mins away so not too far....

Uttersocks i said something like 'it was lovely to meet you. You're a nice chap and great looking but that indefinable spark just wasn't there for me. Believe me that disappoints me too but what can you do?'

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking that's great, I might save that for if it's needed 😂

In my own news...

Had a lovely date with Mr Fast Work last night. So lovely i did not go to the loo and was not therefore able to do an update. Lots of talk - both lighter and more meaningful and lots and lots of flirting and touching and some quite intense kissing in the carpark afterwards.

So now I'm #teamcarpark too

Third date set for 15th in the afternoon. Probably cinema.

And in other news.... decree nisi pronounced today. 2 days less than 3 months since i ended the marriage.

Oh that's an excellent update, NoMore, on all counts! Is he boyfriend material, or just FWB?

Could go either way tbh.... am holding fire on that for now and just seeing what happens. There are lots of positives but a couple of negatives that need working through...

And am still flirting with Mr Pilates so have back up if necessary

#teamcarpark 😂😂. 3rd date of the cinema sounds a lot more civilised than mine

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking Oooh glad you had a good date. Car parks and car bonnets are good for a snog 😂

Congrats on the decree nisi, I can't wait to get the absolute.

I have a feeling Mr Hair is going to be a let down. He mentioned coming back to mine after going for a drink and I said it's a no go cos my DC will be home and I've not had a reply. He's slow on replies which is annoying as would actually like a conversation.

I can't deal with flaky letdowns right now. That guy backed out last weekend and I'm really gutted about FWB. I really need a good date with someone hot right now

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking great news!

I will be separated two years in a few weeks and I am in two minds whether to wait and see if he starts divorce proceedings or to just do it. The cost puts me off though as I refuse to pay any more than I have for him having an affair 😐

Argh @timetravellingdiamond mr E is a really slow replier too like sometimes 10 hours can go between texts! It's frustrating because I want to have a conversation but I'm trying to focus on the fact that we have brilliant sparky funny conversations in real life so why is texting important?

Hey all how’s it going

An old flirt pal has got in touch with me again, he is only someone to pass the time with messaging nothing else but he kind of gives me some confidence that I am not an old ugly fat pig 😂 (we would never work as a couple and would never try it)

Mr Moving matched with me on Tinder as well. He was happy about this and messaged to ask me out straight away. His bumble profile is pretty normal photos (good looking and clothed) but his bloody Tinder is ‘topless in a towel’ so I am having fuck boy alarms going off in my head. I’m really paranoid that people see that I am a chubby one and blokes assume I will have low enough self esteem to fuck and chuck (I do not )

No worries timetravelling it’s so hard, my issue is if I’m going to dtd with someone on a regular basis I need to find them attractive and like their personality so how then do you not get attached? Look after yourself and keep your chin up lovely!

I am trying not to think about Xmas too much as the kids are with my ex. I am off to my mums who hosts big family Xmas it will be nice but I know I will feel sad.

nomore I am very jealous of your car park snogging. Congrats on nisi. I got my absolute a few months ago and was skipping around for days.

No bloody irons for me. I seem to repel men at the moment ☹️

Jane I would love a slightly less civilised date tbh but don't think wrll have a venue for that until new year ...

Mr Fast Work is, however, not a mega phone user. Though he does message if he says he will I find I'm initiating messaging. Trying really hard to let him start the next one

@Peanutbuttermouth he's replied again. I'm obviously investing in nothing right now but I'm just so cautious- I really don't want to be cancelled on or things like that. It would be awful atm, I'm low as it is and at least need some nice dates. Would be great if I had a real spark with someone too.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 that's exactly how I feel. I think FWB was always going to be a nightmare with mine. That was never what we set out as in feb- we were dating. When he got back in touch in July I was so glad- because the sex had always been so good I brought this up in texts and it just went from there. I can't remember if we ever even mentioned what it was going to be. First time I saw him again in July we went to the pub we first met then got horny and went and found some trees in the middle of a park where no one would find us 😂 Couldn't go back to mine, DC were home.

See I just think of all these things and smile then get sad he's gone. Chin up, chin up. Must remember.

@Marlboroandmalbec34

I am sure you don’t! It’s a weird time of year. I’ve done a lot of swiping and have loads of matches but only 3 bother to talk to you so the pool is smaller, it could pick up over the weekend?

Me and Mr Moving are chatting about having a click with someone. You have to have that for anything to ever happen but so many dates are nice but just ok, with no click or spark

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking it was very uncivilised 😂 I hope the walls weren’t thin 😂.

Hello I'm new here
And new to dating in general
Just wondered if anyone had some advice please. Met an OLD last Saturday, had fun, we slept together, which I think is what it was all about, for me at least. Since then we've been messaging but I am going off him rapidly and don't know how to wind it down without being horrible. I realise this is a bit pathetic but he's nice and I don't want to be mean...

@novicedater if it were me I'd probably make up some excuse about not feeling ready for anything, needing time by myself or whatever. Something to try spare his feelings I guess. Maybe say I had loads of things going on in my personal/work life and wouldn't have the time going forward.

I don't think for one second Mr Hair has the intention of meeting me. Why would you not bother to have some kind of proper conversation with someone you intended to meet up with?

None of my matches are chatting much. Disheartening really.

Thank you timetravellingdiamond I'll base it on that.

I was messaging someone else for ages and got on really well and had a laugh but he kept going vague as we neared the time we were going to meet. The third time this happened I chatted less and now he's ghosted me. I k ow I'm new to this, but it's so weird to invest so much time and then just stop! I wonder why people do it.