Dating Thread 175 - It's not you, it's them. Also: people are weird at Christmas time.

[MoreNiceCereal]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I was just reading that thread but it's way too early for boyfriend in my situation! He's still just a date who I can't be entirely certain doesn't have a micro penis 😂 I'll do a bedroom update on the weekend!

Oh @Undecidedsofa 💐 you too.

As much as I wanted to, I didn't for a second entertain saying to him 'but we'd be so good together'. I know we would- and it wouldn't surprise me if he thought so at least in some ways too. But it's too difficult- me being older, with kids, not living near eachother, all kinds of things. He told me how much he thought of me and that he'd really miss me. Can't blame him for wanting someone without baggage and who's nearer.

I think he will think that I dealt with it in the classiest way possible- wishing him luck and parting on good terms. All he will ever have is good thoughts of me, even if it wasn't enough.

@Peanutbuttermouth I look forward to the update surely it can’t be 😂

Hey @HairyArsedMan good to see you back! So, MrM has asked for us to change our Facebook status and I'm unsure as my ex has people spying on my Facebook! Yay or nay? What are the bloody rules?

@TimeTravellingDiamond I’m so sorry you’re hurting.

Mr ship is becoming a lovely pen pal! I’ve been very forward and suggested a coffee at some point AND moved our chat to WhatsApp, otherwise we’d still be chatting on the dating app!

I’m becoming more keen on mr horse, he ‘seems’ Lovely . Hinge subscription is up today and I haven’t renewed. I’m hoping I’ll be able to get a date with mr horse at some point soon, aside from that I’m looking forward to a break. Hosting Christmas for my mum and my ex and dc of course, working, school seem to add a new event every day, my head is about to fall off 😂 my pen pal men are a nice distraction but I don’t have the head space for any new irons!

@Jane1978xx I hope your date goes well tonight, I can’t wait to read your update, have fun!

@KermitRulesOK - my first thought was - how old are you?!? Facebook status! Of course don't do it if it's going to cause problems with your ex.

@KermitRulesOK Is he 12?

Time that's really tough, be kind to yourself

Enough of the '40s are really old' stuff 😂 I must be geriatric in most of the thread's eyes as I'm 55. I feel a lot younger and only act my age at work (too outing to say where I work!). I've had FWBs in their 30s and they don't have as much 'bedroom' energy as me lol

I’m 40 myself 😂. Sorry my old comment was he’s older than me when everyone else’s irons seem to be much younger. Xx

Good luck Jane with the date - sounds like it's going to be fun

Mr G is 45 to my 38, I thought those were average ages on this thread, tbh.

Don't do anything that will cause problems for you, Kermit. I'm keeping very schtum about dating right now - close friends know, but I don't use Facebook much anyway and my DC have no idea. Things are still very much unpleasant with my ex so I'd rather wait a few more weeks/months before openly 'announcing' our status. Mr G has no issues with this. I am looking forward to being more open about our relationship though!

Oh dear - ok so this isn't a done thing when you're 39/41? I'm so not down with the kids lol!

@MoreNiceCereal this is the thing...my ex was very controlling and I feel he's still controlling a year after splitting - why should I care if it upsets him?

I only care about mine in the sense that visitation isn't settled with the children and we have another family court date in a few months and I'd rather not have that brought up, as a way to discredit me or something. So after March, we'll see how the land lies. Besides, if Mr G and I are still going strong then, I will feel more comfortable anyway. That'll be six months.

I changed my fb status from married to _ to nothing when me and my ex split. I won't be changing it again, ever!

I'm 41 and Mr Ad is 47 by the way.

Feeling pretty rubbish today, worse than I thought. I'll be ok but I wish I had the answer to feeling better. I wish he had been a complete arsehole to me and hadn't said the things he did, I've deleted the messages so I can't keep reading them. It would have been so much easier if he were a bastard.

Thanks @BatshitCrazyWoman. And believe me I don't think you're geriatric 😂 women are fantastic, whatever their age. Some men(I repeat some, not all) seem to get a bit weird as they get older 😂

@Jane1978xx I hope you have a fabulous time on your date.

@KermitRulesOK I'm with @MoreNiceCereal, don't do anything that will make things difficult for yourself or spoil your enjoyment of things either

@Jane1978xx - have a great time on the date!

@TimeTravellingDiamond sorry you are feeling sad :-( it's worse when they are nice....there are better things ahead xx

@Kermitrulesok will your ex start dicking about with contact times if he realises you're in a relationship? That is the crucial question!

@Peanutbuttermouth he knows about MrM as I told him before anyone else did. He's not overly happy but he has to move on

Both my irons are younger. In fact all the men I've met have been younger. The smallest age gap was 3 years younger. The largest is current iron, Mr Pilates, who's 7 years younger at 29...

@nomore AGE IS BUT A NUMBER!

Could be worse, I once had someone chat me up (I'm 30) who was 18.

I think 29 to 35 is perfectly acceptable and I don't even think its worth bringing up (I mean that in a nice way)

Well to cheer myself up I'm getting a couple of new tattoos this morning 😂

Ooh what you getting Time?

Some flirting with Mr Moving took place last night
Mr Police wants to meet tonight but I am having a horrible period and not in the mood 😂