Dating Thread 175 - It's not you, it's them. Also: people are weird at Christmas time.

[MoreNiceCereal]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Yes, I want to know more about the tattoos as well! I'm getting more next week, as long as nobody else in the family falls ill. I've been trapped indoors for weeks.

Thanks everyone! I don’t know if I’m
Nervous or excited or both 🤷🏼‍♀️.

That's the way @TimeTravellingDiamond transfer all that care, energy and feelings you had for that guy back into yourself.

@KermitRulesOK Agree with others about not causing yourself any hassle via FB. I'm kind of wondering whether the FB status update is very important at all in the greater scheme of just socialising with each others real friends and family. It wouldn't cross my mind to ever suggest that - but suppose everyone is different.

I got a feather on my bicep with some tiny birds coming out of it.and a barbed wire heart next to my ankle. Protect your heart.

@HairyArsedMan MissH certainly hasn't mentioned that I'm sharing her with another bloke, so fingers crossed it's not me!

Someone mention tattoos? I'm covered in them!

Those sound nice, Time. I have bird tattoos and have seen a lot of that feather/bird design.

Thanks everyone - it's not important to me but it seems like a big thing for him. I'm meeting his family this weekend and we're spending the next couple of days together as we've booked the days off work. We're still going strong and I really believe I've (finally) met my soulmate

Those are 6 and 7 for me. What are you planning next week @MoreNiceCereal?

It's cheered me up a bit but also made me sad- this is the type of thing I'd have shared with FWB- I'm missing his friendship a lot.

I currently have birds flying up my leg and a tree on my back. I plan to get the Pleiades constellation on my collarbone and cherry blossoms on my inner forearm. Eventually I will get a dragon sleeve, but need to get it designed first.

Those sound really nice- I think we must have similar taste in tattoos. I've got the phases of the moon down my spine and my star sign constellation on my forearm.

Ooh, the moon phases sounds really cool! I'm going to research that...

@TimeTravellingDiamond sorry to hear about your FWB. Hope your feeling better soon x

@Jane1978xx hope you have a great time tonight.

@crazycatlady20 thankyou.

Honestly I've felt much worse today than I thought I would. I think I'm struggling because I've had so many things go wrong the past couple of years that i was just desperate for a bit of happiness.

No one else has made me feel like he does. What if no one else can?

@TimeTravellingDiamond keep posting on here and before you know it you'll feel better. You knew he wasn't right for you, hold on to that. I split with mr U 2 months ago and apart from feeling a bit sad I seem to be over the worst. Although I can't be bothered to date. I'm swiping and chatting but no ones caught my fancy really. I'm nervous about getting involved when there's no future again. Re tatts, I have 7 I think. Hoping to get a new one next week. I got one the week after I split with Mr U. I don't think it's about giving yourself care at all, It's about making the pain concrete and feeling it physically. And marking it. I'm 51 don't know any other women my age with tatts. Or men.

Hey @YorkshireMummyof1 how's things with mr C?

@time I def understand where ur coming from. I get attached after a few days never mind all that time. it's not too much to ask to want happiness.

I've not been doing OLD long but I'd suggest swiping and chatting, there will be people who take ur mind off him. If it was me I know I'd just wallow if I wasnt swiping.

On another subject do many of you vid call ur irons to chat? do u do this often?

@MoreNiceCereal It’s the time it takes to get a decent slot with a good artist as well isn’t it. I have one full sleeve that also goes over some of my left ‘boob’, it’s all black, it’s starts on my wrist with a stream going over rocks, then a woodland then some birds flying above the trees in the sun (looks better than it sounds) and a few bits on my other arm, it all started with a teeny one behind my ear.

Amazing, Simon.

I was recommended a tiny studio about 40 mins away and they are great. Loyalty to your artist is a thing!

No I don’t video chat. I do call occasionally but I go to bed more or less the same
Time as my 9 year old and she’s a nosey Parker 😂😂😂. She’s already asked what The fish app is and I said it’s the bank

@unambiguousbeard, @crazycatlady20 thankyou 💐 I honestly feel so pathetic. The thing is I don't get attached easy on a way- except when there's some chemistry or something really special. I dunno what it was with FWB. First date we just got on like a house on fire and he just grabbed me and kissed me, honestly felt electric whenever we were together. I e not had that with many people. I'm so so sad that it didn't go anywhere and now I don't even get to have sex with him or even be his friend. I really miss the texting already. I have my lovely DC, one of whom is poorly today and needs me so it's just a case of plodding on.

I'm swiping like mad at the moment 😂 I think some dates would be a good distraction.

On the subject of video calls I never do them- not with anyone! I take about an hour to take a half decent selfie so no way will I do video call.

@SimonJT love the sound of your tattoo.

Time, did he know how much you liked him? Had he told you he'd been seeing someone else at the same time? Or was this just a bombshell? Sorry I don't know your history.

@Windmillwhirl first time round we were 'seeing' eachother properly. When we got back in touch in July we were more casual, FWB. I know in July he slept with someone else. He told me recently after that it was only me. And he wouldn't have lied- we were just FWB and one thing he isn't is a liar.

This girl I get the impression is very recent. She lives where he works and probably is his own age with no kids. No wonder she's a more attractive prospect than me. Well he obviously likes her better. It hurts. But I can't do anything about it.

Oh and I don't know if he knew I liked him. Possibly not. I didn't explicitly tell him til yesterday. And that wasn't part of a 'pick me instead' thing, he said we couldn't keep talking cos we are too close and we've slept together so much and stuff like that. I agreed and admitted because I have feelings for him it wouldn't be right. I told him I didn't tell him before, didn't expect him to feel the same. But I was going to tell him anyway because I couldn't keep having sex with him feeling this way.

Of course it hurts

Sounds like it was inevitable though. You are in the eye of the storm now but we all know the pain eases in time. Hang in there there. Hopefully the no contact will speed the healing process x