Dating Thread 175 - It's not you, it's them. Also: people are weird at Christmas time.

[MoreNiceCereal]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

My POF profile has changed to interested in women. I think I was trying to hide it about a week ago, I am not sure how this happened but the app is horrible and keeps glitching. I just looked and I have 12 messages from women. This may be worth considering 😂

menora that’s brilliant, the universe is maybe trying to tell you something?

You guys have helped a lot. I needed to talk and can't IRL. 💐

I'm ok for a minute then the thought of him with someone else crushes me. I used to wonder if when he was sleeping with me there was anyone else but this hurts much worse.

@Jane1978xx it's far more important what you're wearing underneath then! 😂

@Menora mine did the same before, and on tinder 😂 I'd somehow set it to swipe on everyone 😂

What were the messages like from ladies ? Generally more polite than men ? Althou I know a lad whose on Pof and he says he gets loads of messages from women wanting to sit on his face and the like.

I had a few nights with women in the past but it’s not something I’ve explored longer term.

New knicks and bra , Lacy 😂. I still feel like a crazy person like what the hell.

I did start talking to one girl on tinder before. Maybe that's what I need to do to get over FWB, every man I meet gets compared to him and won't be able to do the same with women 😂

No @Jane1978xx, don't feel crazy, enjoy yourself! I hope it goes brilliantly for you.

Try it you might like it 🤷🏼‍♀️. My encounters were accidental but it’s fun (there’s just one thing I won’t do if you can guess) sorry getting a bit tmi 😂

I have only ever kissed one woman ever, and I was very drunk. A few of them are very pretty!
One of them reminds me of myself. I feel an affinity to her more than the others who are blond and thin. I haven’t messaged any of them back I don’t know if I should!

@Jane1978xx I did once a long long time ago 😂

Oh god I feel so sorry for myself. He's probably with this girl now that he actually likes, doing all the things to her that he did to me 😞 and I'm getting messages on POF from Phil Mitchell lookalikes 😂

Haha at Phil Mitchell! Were we all not going to try swiping younger? Or females?

I don’t want to lead a woman on if I am unsure about it, would feel really unfair.

Well my lower limit is 22, upper 38 I think.

Uh is this what it is for me now, mr potato head. From a gorgeous 22 year old who looked like a model.

Mind you how I ever matched him I don't know 😂

I'm bi, and generally I have much more respectful and polite OLD chat from women. I'm up front that I'm bi and only looking for casual relationships with women. That's probably the best way to approach it @Menora - just say you're bi curious

How old are you @TimeTravellingDiamond. ? I think men in their mid- late 30s are a bit meh but Into mid 40s they seem to look after themselves a bit more and dress well

@Jane1978xx I'm 31 but very young childish for my age. FWB said to me tonight actually I only look about 19 😂 i do look young and forget how old I actually am. When I see the guys in their mid/late 30s on tinder they look really old! I think they look old enough to be my dad!

And then I remember I'm 31 😂 I think I'm my head I'm 22. Hence why FWB and I actually got on so well.

My current iron (is he still an iron after 6 dates? What do irons become?) is mid 20s and I'm early 30s. Younger seems to be much more respectful and fun! Although after time's tale of woe now I'm wondering if he's just enjoying me while waiting for a 25 year old to come along 😭

Oh @Peanutbuttermouth hopefully not! There were other reasons I think FWB and I weren't going anywhere. You can probably guess where he's from now, I'm an hour and a half from his hometown and another hour and a half from where he lives in the week for work, which is actually in the other direction. So nowhere near either. That was a big part of the problem too.

I do feel so very sad tonight. I do genuinely hope he's happy.

@TimeTravellingDiamond , so sorry....that's a horrid way to be feeling

My iron is old 😂 44 but he looks a lot younger

@Undecidedsofa thankyou. It's my own stupid fault- I should have ended it much sooner.

It's funny because when he got back in touch in July I'd just started seeing this really nice, good looking Italian guy. But then as soon as I heard from him, he was all I wanted. I should have known at that point it was a bad idea. I had told myself after doing casual for a bit that I should try and actually find something more but that went out the window- I just wanted him so badly.

I'm hoping that because he now knows how I feel, he won't get in touch looking for fun if it doesn't go anywhere with this girl. He's too nice to do that.

Maybe you should get in touch with the italian guy!

There's a thread about that, @Peanutbuttermouth, I think I'm going to go with boyfriend. Gives me little butterflies to think of Mr G as my boyfriend haha.

Mr G is older than me but has the energy of a man half his age, I swear.

I had / have a good male friend, we have been friends for about 6-7 yers and we slept together twice last year. It was so confusing and upsetting as I had feelings for him after and, to be honest, still do.
He is recently single again and just started dating someone - it hurts still, I want to shout at him + ask why it couldn't be me...but I can't.
Be kind to yourself.

@Peanutbuttermouth I wouldn't want to tbh.l, it's going to take someone completely fresh to get my mind off of FWB I think? I'm so scared I won't meet anyone I like as much as him.