Dating Thread 175 - It's not you, it's them. Also: people are weird at Christmas time.

[MoreNiceCereal]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I remember that feeling Time I was infatuated with a fwb last year and it hurt like fuck when it inevitably ended. I did however get over him by getting under another (few) guy(s) 😂

I had a FWB over the summer, he was funny, smart, interesting, and probably the nicest guy I'd met for a long time. Fabulous kisser, not necessarily mind blowing sex but better than I'd experienced up to that point. I started falling pretty hard for him and knew he wasn't interested in a relationship with me, so I ended it myself. It hurt for a while, but I'm glad I freed myself up for other experiences and people. I don't regret it at all, but he's definitely a big reason why I am not doing FWB ever again. I am definitely a monogamous relationship person.

@Peanutbuttermouth I'm just gutted and feeling sorry for myself because I had this with the neighbour last year and now again. Why do I go for the wrong ones all the time?

The neighbour was definitely a dodged bullet. This one definitely not. I'm gonna miss him so much because he was my friend too. I've not just lost the sex I've lost a friend. And yes I had feelings for him, I've known him for 10 months now. He said it himself, we can't carry on because we're too close.

@MoreNiceCereal you're a stronger and more sensible woman than me. I never could end it with him. Everything was so good with him, the kissing, the sex, the feelings I had when around him, the conversation. He used to joke it was like we were proper bf/gf for the night when together, and then we speak every single day without fail by text.

I'm never doing FWB again. I'm scared to fall for anyone again because this hurts like hell.

I’m sorry Time
It’s shit!
This is why I can’t do FWB. I’ve lost a couple of friends that way

Iron wise I am now on Mr Policeman and Mr Moving. Mr Moving did come back after my messy hair cringe comment

I can’t handle more than 2 at once and notice people unmatch me when I can’t keep up!

Yeah, it was an overnight at his place that made me realise I can't pretend to have a relationship. I either have one or I don't.

This sounds really hard, Time. I feel for you.

Thankyou @Menora. Sorry all for being so pathetic about it and going on about myself all night.

I need to stop romanticising it. I'm telling myself that he must have known I had feelings for him but was happy to keep sleeping with me knowing that it wouldn't go anywhere. I have to make him less perfect I my mind because what I'm thinking is clouded by feelings.

You really aren’t. The point of this thread is support!

I was really hurt by mine too, it was horrible. And our friendship was over 20 years old it never recovered we should never have kept having sex 😂

@MoreNiceCereal you know the good thing is I was actually able to tell him the truth tonight. He said he couldn't keep on talking to me and I agreed and said it would be unfair on her but also unfair on me because the truth was I had feelings for him. I told him I was thinking of telling him anyway because I couldn't keep sleeping with him feeling like this. I'm glad it's out and he knows the truth. Hope I can move on from it now but tonight I'm a bit of a mess 😂

Omg I can't ever watch Gavin and Stacey again 😭 that might be the biggest loss in all this 😂

Oh well it’s only a Christmas special so you will just have to miss that one 😂

My mum is going to wonder why I can't watch it, she's knows it's one of my favourites 😂 I actually think if I heard that accent right now I'd fall apart 😂

It's good you were able to tell him, though.

It is- my god it's so bloody bittersweet. He said I'm one of the nicest girls he ever met and he thinks so much of me, that's I'd helped him loads with stuff. . I said I was glad it could end like this, nicely and he said he felt the same.

I'm glad he knows the truth. I just wish this one had gone my way, it was my bloody turn after a lot of pain 😡

@Menora I feel bad complaining- a 20 year friendship is a completely different thing. I met him on tinder in feb 😂 I knew I liked him then but he ended it. Then when he got back in touch in July I was so happy. That's when we drifted into this FWB thing.

I'm not seriously questioning but just wondering why he never wanted more I guess.... I think it was my circumstances. He fancied me, sex was amazing, we got on so well. Definite spark and chemistry. I used to think that me having kids wasn't an issue but when he can easily meet single child free girls his own age it was always going to be.

Tbh I'm amazed it went on this long. He was never short of offers

@TimeTravellingDiamond hope you are ok. You might be able to watch it with fond memories at some point x

I’m all set for date number 3 Tomorrow 😬. I will report back

Doesn’t matter it was 20 years, we still threw it all down the drain by shagging 😂

Yep same here re the kids, but he’s got 2 now and is all miserable

So sorry you are hurting Time travellingDiamond

Hopefully you start to feel a little better soon. I had a fwb that I ended as it was going nowhere (lived an hour's flight away). I met my now lovely dp very soon after that and am absolutely smitten. I've just turned 47 and feel like I've finally met a good 'un. Big hugs.

@Menora it's so hard. I really feel like Bridget Jones, sobbing in the bath 😂

@Jane1978xx that's what's hard, all my memories of him are just happy and fun. Hopefully the pain accompanying them will subside.

Anyway please distract me! Are you all ready for your date? Outfit planned?

Thankyou @Windmillwhirl, thank you all 💐

I'm making my best effort to find someone else to get under but I've gone through all of tinder 😂 literally, a previous ONS popped up 5 mins ago (I swiped left). That was a rubbish night 😂

I was on match, changed to Badoo (friend recommended it) and met now partner off that. He was the first date I went on there and wasn't on any other site.

Maybe switch it up a bit?

I've gone through tinder and bumble, fuck it I'll download POF again... 😂

@TimeTravellingDiamond. Just jeans and a thin v neck jumper just going to local pub then to ‘watch a film’ 😂. He only lives one village over so it’s not far

My Pof tip just go thru nearby people 😂 easier in winter

That's the spirit, Time.