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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating Thread 175 - It's not you, it's them. Also: people are weird at Christmas time.

999 replies

MoreNiceCereal · 26/11/2019 23:36

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. Know your worth.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

OP posts:
TimeTravellingDiamond · 02/12/2019 21:08

Will join you both at darts, situation with my ex is poor to say the least. @MoreNiceCereal good for you for making the most of your opportunities now you're rid of him, I'm doing something similar and it feels great 👍

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 02/12/2019 21:19

bangshead you really really need to block. I think he is been very weird and I know you don’t want to hear it but I would be very concerned that he is a catfish or married.

Tiger Sorry about your dog Flowers

Still messaging Mr Tredgy but he keeps trying to sext me and I don’t want to sext someone I haven’t met (new boundaries 🙌) and I’m not feeling a connection at all. Shame as on paper he is perfect.

Still messaging Mr Foot so hopefully have a date on Friday. Again not feeling it but haven’t been on a proper date (with anyone but Mr Big) since August so keen to get back on the horse.

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 02/12/2019 21:22

morenice sounds like you have had a tough time. I am also having a mare with shit head exh/ courts/ contact. Glad you’re feeling positive! It’s so freeing to be in charge of your own future 👍

MoreNiceCereal · 02/12/2019 21:28

Thanks, Marlb, yes I've been through the wringer, me and the DC. But we are resilient!

OP posts:
Jane1978xx · 02/12/2019 21:54

Another one for darts please. It seems it is un reasonable for ex h to arrange what is needed for dd on the days he has her. All down to me.

Anyway the sexting / texting with mr gray pre wed continues. Not too much which I like but enough.

TimeTravellingDiamond · 02/12/2019 22:08

@Jane1978xx it's hopeless isn't it. My ex can't even brush my DDs hair half the time.

Work colleague has been messaging a lot tonight. But gone a bit quiet now, he was making it very sexual whereas I don't want sexting like that, not atm. I'd like to feel like someone is actually interested in me, not just in getting in my knickers.

No text from FWB. We message most days but nothing today so maybe it's died a death anyway, without me putting the final nail in the coffin 😩😂 I'm sad but not surprised

Jane1978xx · 02/12/2019 22:19

Omg yes he can’t brush hair ! She’s got all kinds of plays and things she needs to take to her clubs etc but he won’t get the things for his days ! Urghhh.

Did you ask work colleague out for a drink ?

TimeTravellingDiamond · 02/12/2019 22:25

So my ex has them every other weekend- every time they go I have to pack up loads of clothes, pjs, wellies, hairbrushes, all kinds of things. I kind of think he should at least keep some things there (actually buy them himself too). Seems reasonable? Should have probably posted that in AIBU 😂

I kind of want to ask him out, I could go with the company and the sex tbh, and it's tempting because I now know he has been fantasising about it quite a lot 😂 but work has been my haven from all the stress of divorce etc. I really don't want to mess it up.

Maybe when he leaves it could be an option?

MoreNiceCereal · 02/12/2019 22:35

Well I think those are good reasons to hang fire, and why not tell him straight? If he's worth the time he'll understand.

OP posts:
TimeTravellingDiamond · 02/12/2019 22:41

I think I will @MoreNiceCereal. I love my job and don't want to ruin that. It's just the temptation is there especially when I'm feeling a bit lonely... my job is too good to mess up though

Jane1978xx · 02/12/2019 22:54

Yes maybe when he leaves or say a coffee now and go out again when he leaves 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Agree on your other point too @TimeTravellingDiamond

TimeTravellingDiamond · 02/12/2019 22:58

If we go for a coffee now I know what will happen. Especially given I've not seen FWB for 3 weeks 😂

MoreNiceCereal · 02/12/2019 23:13

Mr G just told me he will be in the country for work in January and February, and is coming up on his own in December, he's just looking for the cheapest dates.

Happy dance!!!

OP posts:
Jane1978xx · 02/12/2019 23:25

@TimeTravellingDiamond. Maybe when he leaves then 😂

@MoreNiceCereal. Yeah ! Sounds lovely

Peanutbuttermouth · 02/12/2019 23:50

Date 6 with Mr E today and overnight planned in a few days, it might be premature given that we haven't slept together yet but I think I'm heading for the smitten bench Shock I like him more and more each time we meet. Is 6 dates enough to know you like someone and be able to trust your judgment do you think?

UtterSocks · 02/12/2019 23:51

Still not had time to read all the way back but just wanted to pop in and say that if I see another man who went to the “University of Life” ... 🤬🙄🙈

Jane1978xx · 02/12/2019 23:57

@Peanutbuttermouth yes I think 6 is enough , that’s a lot of time really. Glad it’s going well

Peanutbuttermouth · 03/12/2019 00:02

I'm glad it's going well too! I had soooo many awful dates, been ghosted and benched so many times, met so many entitled manchildren, I was on the verge of giving up.

Peanutbuttermouth · 03/12/2019 00:18

Oh god I really hope he doesn't have a micro penis 😂

Jane1978xx · 03/12/2019 00:20

😂 surely not ! Have you not had a sneaky feel 😂

TimeTravellingDiamond · 03/12/2019 06:11

@Peanutbuttermouth oh I hope for your sake not! 😂 that'd be devastating!

I'm starting to think I'm just way too fussy. About a year ago I went on a date with this guy who was really nice but he had really thin lips and the kissing wasn't very good. So from then on I've made sure I only go on dates with guys with fuller lips for this reason 😂

Peanutbuttermouth · 03/12/2019 07:03

I have really thin lips! Maybe that's my problem 🤣

Jane1978xx · 03/12/2019 07:06

I don’t think it’s the lips I think people are either good kissers or not 🤷🏼‍♀️.

TimeTravellingDiamond · 03/12/2019 07:10

I think it was his lips tbh as I've noticed a big difference with FWB who has gorgeous lips. Gorgeous everything really, sigh.

FWIW I don't think mine are all that great 😂

Jane1978xx · 03/12/2019 07:33

I’d be glad of anything tbh 😂😂. Ex h didn’t kiss me in maybe 10 years 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦‍♀️. We shall see what wed with mr gray brings but he’s very full on

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