Dating Thread 175 - It's not you, it's them. Also: people are weird at Christmas time.

[MoreNiceCereal]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

NC fail 🤦‍♀️😂

I’m 40 and I think the youngest was 23 😂. He did send a Lovely polite first mesage and I said thank you and how nice he seemed but maybe stick to women who aren’t your mums age 😂

Ugh. Feeling bit down about FWB (someone slap me). This is totally stupid but there's a tv programme on at Xmas and I love it, have been looking forward to it for 10 years!! I keep seeing trailers for it, and I'm dreading it because it makes me think of him a lot.

Listening to music this morning and a song came on that we were listening to last time he stayed over and it got to me. I know I'm so pathetic. I wouldn't admit to anyone IRL how stupid I am so it's good to vent.

New Rules. I know it.

Well my darling girl has moved on 😟. We were together nearly 16 years, I cannot believe it’s over. Thank goodness I have a younger dog to focus on, but my god I loved that dog 😥😥😥. XH still here, he’s actually been very sweet and has helped with the DDs’ varied reactions. Just want him to go now though, and for today to be over.

@TigerDater so sorry 💐 I'm glad your XH has been helpful though. A really tough day for you all so be kind to yourself.

@TigerDater hugs to you and your children

@TimeTravellingDiamond are you still with that fwb or it’s over ?

@Jane1978xx we've still been messaging a bit but even that seems to have tailed off- he texted yesterday but not today.

I didn't want it to tail off- it was actually my plan to tell him how I feel. With the complete expectation that it would end the situation but at least end it with honesty and kind of nice because I know he would be kind about it. But I kind of wanted him to know how I felt.

I'm making a lot more effort on tinder and bumble atm than I was before tbf though. I really want to just go on a date tbh!

Yes maybe just tell him you won’t be in a worse situation than you are now. And then you know what to do

@TigerDater my thoughts are with you, I know it will have been a very tough and emotional day.

I had an amazing weekend with Mr S, I ran a Santa's grotto yesterday and after someone pulling out he stepped into help and seeing him with the children was amazing. I found myself thinking that he would make a great dad if we had children. After skirting around the love issue all weekend of I love your smile, I love your kisses, I love spending time with you etc we finally said I love you last night. I know it might seem fast after 5 and a half weeks together but I can honestly say I have never met a man like him and I haven't felt this way about any man I have dated. I also completely broke my budget for his Christmas present as he saw a wooden butcher's block he really liked at the event so when he was busy I went and bought it for him. Partially as a thank you and also as a Christmas present but he will have to wait until Christmas to get it.

So sorry, @TigerDater. Plenty of self care, and rest up.

Ah that's sweet, @Dancerinthemoonlight! Mr G and I are skirting around the L-word lately, it feels heavy in the air sometimes! But I don't want to say it until I see him face to face again. This month!!

Let yourself mourn @TigerDater keeping it in isn’t healthy.

@TigerDater I'm so sorry about your darling dog 

@Dancerinthemoonlight Me and Mr Ad said the L word after about 5/6 weeks too. I don't see it as a massive deal to be honest. Meeting kids, yes...telling someone you love them, not so much. I don't know what will happen in the future but I know right now we love each other and it's lovely to be able to say it 😊

Lurking and reading, but not been able to post much.

I'm finding it odd reading the thread because I mostly recognize myself in a lot of the things you all are worried or complaining about. I probably need to reconsider if I'm actually ready for dating.

MrN is very tolerant of my EOW availability, though.

As for the L word, after almost 3 months, I still feel like we are strangers.

Lots of love Tiger xxxx

banghead why did you ask which date it was?

He still hasn't messaged. Neither have I. Must not be needy. Must not be needy.

On the other hand a dad on the reception class whatsapp group obviously has nothing fucking better to do....and/or is enjoying the adulation and undivided attention of the group and keeps sending a million and one fucling messages. Piss off and grandstand elsewhere. Youre making my phone go beserk when a) im horrendously busy at work and b)getting my bloody hopes up every time

@TigerDater I'm so sorry for your loss.

simon are you trying to tip me over the edge? 😥😂. Seriously though, thanks everyone. I’m being very kind to myself because frankly I’m incapable of doing anything at all except cry 😥 and hug my puppy 💕

An old iron from last year got in touch last week. Just as the vet arrived today a naughty message came through from said iron. He was mortified when he realised his bad timing but actually it made me smile. And my XH opened up quite a bit, which warmed my heart. Such a weird day. So glad it’s nearly over.

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking I silence all my group chats on WhatsApp

@TigerDater sending you lots of love

@Dancerinthemoonlight that’s so lovely to read! Oh for a man to help me at events!

Mr horse seems keen for a date but I’m a bit worn out by everything that’s going on in life at the moment! I’m enjoying talking to mr ship though, and I think his unavailability is attractive to me, so I took the plunge and asked him for a date! He said he’d love to meet and will let me know when he’s back in the country, I’m happy with that! 🤣

So nice reading the positive stories on here. God I hope I can manage to post one one day 😂

I've decided if FWB messages me I'm going to tell him how I feel. If not, I'm not messaging him again.

The fit guy who super liked me has been messaging a bit so we will see. Have also matched with 4 different guys at the nearby army base so here's hoping.

It struck me that Lydia Bennet would have loved tinder...

It struck me that Lydia Bennet would have loved tinder...

This made me proper laugh. I said on a thread a few months back that the younger Bennett sisters woukd be social media wannabe stars these days!

Ha ha I can just see them on Instagram! What would Mary Bennett be on though?

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking they really would be wouldn't they 😂 can imagine Lydia and Kitty all over insta, Mrs Bennet joining in with them too.

Sadly I'm far more Lydia it seems that Jane or Elizabeth 😂

@TigerDater I'm struggling to imagine Mary in the modern world.... online blogger for something very serious probably, boring everyone to death. Or a younger Theresa May or someone like that whose biggest act of rebellion would be running through wheat fields 😂

Ok. He's not actually been on whatsapp since he said goodnight to me. Perhaps he's just one of those weird peopel who doesn't use their phone much

Althoygh i have just remembered he said he does training on a Monday night so i will tough it out a bit longer.

In the meantime i will try not to throw darts at an effigy of my ex

In the meantime i will try not to throw darts at an effigy of my ex

I'll join you there. My dc will be attending supervised contact for the last four weeks of the year, so whatever emotional fallout that will occur will happen over Christmastime. Brilliant. I desperately hope he will behave himself for their sakes.

But I have a bit of a spring to my step today anyway, because I've made a few decisions that have helped me feel like I'm more in charge of my future now, and it feels good. I am planning on getting qualifications and setting a career path in place, all these things that my ex actively prevented me from doing. So now I'm bloody well doing it.