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Original poster

Dating Thread 175 - It's not you, it's them. Also: people are weird at Christmas time.

999 replies

MoreNiceCereal · 26/11/2019 23:36

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. Know your worth.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

**

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

OP posts:
Jane1978xx · 02/12/2019 09:01

@bangheadhere40 I would block him , he’s projecting far too much into you and you’ve never met. It’s not going to end well, if he feels like this having never met you imagine if you do start dating he will be a paranoid wreck. Also how to ever finish something with someone like that . It’s very flattering and I’m sure you like him but it’s not healthy on either side. Block him on all forms of communication,

bangheadhere40 · 02/12/2019 09:08

I just don't understand his motives - he doesn't want to meet me, yet can't hear about me meeting anyone else.

Is he being controlling? and if he likes me as much as he says why doesn't he meet me - which if he can't makes him quite little and patethic anyway I suppose.

Jane1978xx · 02/12/2019 09:13

It’s too much , I can see it’s upsetting and confusing . Just block him honestly and don’t give him another thought. I don’t know if he’s doing it intentionally or not. And basically now you’ll just be speaking to him out of pity anyway

Original poster
MoreNiceCereal · 02/12/2019 09:18

Way too complicated, and controlling with a veneer of sweetness, imo. I'd finish it.

OP posts:
StealthNinjaMum · 02/12/2019 09:22

@bangheadhere40 I always think that it doesn't matter what his motives are, it's the effect that is the main thing and the effect is that it's upsetting you. If he's being honest then that's completely over investing in you and he needs to not break rule 3. I think you need to block him.

@TigerDater I'm sorry to hear about your dog Flowers

bangheadhere40 · 02/12/2019 09:26

He seemed more concerned to be honest when I told him I was fine with him not wanting to meet me, that's life and stuff happens. He seemed a little annoyed by that, and asked me if I was pretending!

This situation is crazy, I can't win.....and you all correct, of course. BLOCK!

bangheadhere40 · 02/12/2019 09:27

@StealthNinjaMum what I didn't get though was if he is so over invested in me why not take the plunge and meet me.This makes me think it's just a control / ego boost thing.

bangheadhere40 · 02/12/2019 09:29

He also said he may have to block me as he can't physically stop himself from messaging me, after rejecting me ..! What a weirdo.

bangheadhere40 · 02/12/2019 09:30

@stealth but yes you are right. It doesn't matter, it's the effect it's having on me, which isn't that good! Thanks all x

Original poster
MoreNiceCereal · 02/12/2019 09:32

Super weird. Definitely not someone you'd want to meet, his boundaries are way off here. I'm getting creep vibes. Glad you're blocking him.

OP posts:
TigerDater · 02/12/2019 09:39

Why would it hurt him bang? He doesn’t know you. I think he’s messing with you, and you should ignore him.

bangheadhere40 · 02/12/2019 09:39

I have been a bit similar too to be honest, and over invested, it's not just him.

bangheadhere40 · 02/12/2019 09:40

@TigerDater I tried to point out that we don't know each other, I was getting way too into it as well. I think it's just an attention thing now.

bangheadhere40 · 02/12/2019 09:42

That's why I was keen to meet, because I did see a potential, and said it wouldn't do any harm.

bangheadhere40 · 02/12/2019 09:44

I will shut up now! But yes, it seems like he is messing with me, and just thrives on the attention, and how can I not be upset about this!

bangheadhere40 · 02/12/2019 10:21

@TigerDater thoughts are with you today x

Jane1978xx · 02/12/2019 10:42

Have you blocked him yet ? Needs to be done he’s messing with you and no way do you meet him he sounds like he is either a cruel person or has mental issues

bangheadhere40 · 02/12/2019 10:48

@jane not yet, but we haven't spoken today, and I'm not going to contact him.

bangheadhere40 · 02/12/2019 10:49

I almost think if I block him it will show him I'm a little bothered, and I don't want to give that impression.

Jane1978xx · 02/12/2019 10:50

What are you speaking to him on ? If it’s just a dating app he won’t know you blocked him

bangheadhere40 · 02/12/2019 10:52

only on POF! I thought it you block someone then they disappear from your inbox and it's obvious they have blocked you?

Jane1978xx · 02/12/2019 11:14

Well it’s the same if you delete your account and they can’t find you again either way 🤷🏼‍♀️. Could say I’m taking a break from dating then let him read and block. Althou to be honest the way he sounds I wouldn’t put it past him making a new account to look

crazycatlady20 · 02/12/2019 11:25

@bangheadhere40 if u block him u will stay in his inbox but if he goes to message u it will tell him UV blocked him I'm sure. someone blocked me lol

YorkshireMummyof1 · 02/12/2019 11:28

@bangheadhere40

Block him. Doesn't matter if it looks like you're bothered by it, you won't be able to be messaged by him at all.

Reading back, yes its about control - someone did this to me before and kept me hanging on for 12 entire months.....trust me, I was a total wreck by the end. Just cut it off (wink wink)

Jane1978xx · 02/12/2019 11:50

Honestly if I knew where you lived I’d be coming round and doing it for you 😂😂