Dating Thread 175 - It's not you, it's them. Also: people are weird at Christmas time.

[MoreNiceCereal]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Answer: flirt back.

We are in the same department in quite a large organisation.... I don't speak much to him at work and he's going to be leaving in January.

My friend at work fancies him but she's married 😂 so she wants me to see what he's like 😂

So do we!!

Oh my old FB is going to come and see me soon. Swoooon. I would so get the feels but he's elusive and has very clear boundaries. It might make me feel like dating again hopefully as I really really don't feel like it atm.

I'll have to give him a go won't I... research purposes 😂

@unambiguousbeard just go careful, I've fucked myself in the head over my FWB...

Hi Ladies, still not had many matches ☹ realised I have completely fucked myself in the head a bit with MrStraight, I am looking at the situation and thinking what the hell was I doing.

I was basically being used as an ego boost, some company online and that's soul destroying. Why am I that stupid I even allowed myself to be treated like this. Not sure if anyone had read the book - he's just not that into you but I read it years ago and am going to re read it, it makes things a lot clearer 🙂

@menora did you finish with mr polite?

And I completely let my guard down and told him a lot of personal stuff, what for, his own gain! I am angry, but with myself.

Exciting unambiguous wooohoooo

banghead we have all been there!!

timetravelling thank you.

Yay Mr Tredgy is messaging me. Must not get my hopes up 😍

@bangheadhere40. I know everyone says they’ve done it but they literally have ! And there’s more nice available men out there.

@unambiguousbeard and @TimeTravellingDiamond
Sounds like some good prospects for action !

I’m messaging / sexting mr gray again 😂. He’s out with his family and they keep asking him what’s up 😂😂. He seems genuinely interested and he’s only a few miles away. We shall see how wed goes when we meet
Up.

@TimeTravellingDiamond Unless there are any restrictions in your contract then go for it. MrNN is technically a client (which I didn’t know at the time), hasn’t caused any issues (so far), I just make sure not to hire him for my team. Also, you should have still got dressed up anyway for you.

MrNN is back in the country tomorrow AM 👍🏽

Thankyou @SimonJT, you're right I should have got dressed up for me but tbh I've been comfy slobbing out in my pjs 😂 still annoyed at another wasted childfree weekend. Work colleague has gone a bit quiet now, was enjoying the teasing tonight...

Have you asked work colleague for a drink ?

@Jane1978xx he's been suggesting it but I'm being a bit coy....

Truth is I'm genuinely conflicted about what to do. Feeling frustrated- it's the FWB- he's completely fucked up my brain. I don't get butterflies with anyone like I do him. I'm worried that next time I'm kissing/sleeping with someone else, I'll get sad because they aren't him 😩 how do I get beyond it?

Mind you I thought I'd feel like this with the neighbour who treated me like shit 😂 was actually FWB who changed my mind.

I guess you won't know if you don't try? A coffee isn't a commitment.

I think you need to take the lead vaugue suggestions don’t work. If you want to go on a date then ask him.

Been chatting to Mr Fast Work on the phone. He has a gorgeous deep voice. And i really liked chatting to him. I hope, even if there's no chemistry, he could actually be a pal.
He's another one who's younger than me. I just seem to gel better with the younger ones... feel like a perv.

Time i recommend 'New rules' by Dua Lipa - "cos if you're under him you ain't gettin over him"

Just ask the colleague out. Start something new to think about. Stop pining over what's over x

In other news does anybody on here have any yen to be on a podcast. A little bit like the mumsnet AIBU one or 'my dad wrote a porno' - a kitchen table chat with wine type podcast? I have my reasons for asking...

Depends on what it's about!

I don’t know what is wrong with me I have hit a huge mental wall. Since I broke up with my last serious ex 2 years ago I have felt a bit broken. It was like the final straw and any optimism I ever owned, died. I have had no interest in meeting anyone new deep down, it’s a fleeting feeling that seems to come and go

The irony of it was I fell out of love with him anyway and wasn’t sad when it ended! I also wasn’t sad at being alone I loved it!

So why am I finding dating so triggering? Why did I even start this? I’m having the whole ‘there is something fundamentally wrong with me I will die alone’ feelings on a loop

I’m more scared of being with someone than I am being alone. I will find faults with everyone I ever meet so that they can’t hurt me

I made it worse last night by looking up exes exDW. I honestly would have sworn he would have gone back to her, which is why I fell out of love with him, never got any back and he stole 18 months of my life to make her jealous - but she is with the same boyfriend. So it really was all for shit wasn’t it

Sorry thread depression 😂

I also deleted an old friend from FB who I had FWB with for a long time. Complicated - childhood friends, lost our virginity to each other, FWB for a very very long time, many years on and off
We don’t even have a friendship (his doing) so I don’t want to see him on my timeline anymore. Clean slate

Menora you sound really low. You know dating isn't mandatory and if you're genuinely happy on your own why force this?
Also... have you tried any counselling? It cab be helpful to break old patterns x

Podcast about dating, *cereal".

Good point - dating isn't compulsory at all. I hope you have a better day today Menora.

I think I'd be too recognisable with my accent on a podcast!

Thanks

I didn’t realise how much pressure other people are