Dating Thread 175 - It's not you, it's them. Also: people are weird at Christmas time.

[MoreNiceCereal]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@MoreNiceCereal I feel the same as you about divorce. We will have been separated for 2 years in a month's time but as it was him who had the affair and can't possibly be on his own, he can have the hassle and cost of the divorce.

I don't intend to get married again either so doesn't matter too much to me.

I do have another iron. Mr Pilates. Late 20s. Long hair. Another kinky one. Just hope there's chemistry.

And with two out of three off the table it's back on the apps to get a free more plates to spin...

Am just really happy i have a friend date on Sunday.

The three i met before this chap all had shared chemistry. Not sure how to let him down. He was so nice and seemed keen but i just... couldn't

@weeping what is this friend thing? Think I need that more than a man at the moment tbf

I'm having a weird week.

Work colleague flirting. He went sick today though.

Very very odd, a guy I knew at school and who I bumped into on tinder but haven't spoken to for ages tried to get in touch through my work.

I've got a date tomorrow hopefully. Another 22 year old 🤭 I honestly don't do it on purpose! He's very nice and he's from virtually the same place as my fwb which is a weird coincidence. He says lots of the same (local) things in messages, it's very strange to read.

I've decided I'm going to tell my fwb how I feel about him. But not til I see if any of the other irons are of interest. I'm benching fwb for now cos if the irons are no good then he's at least useful for a shag fairly soon. But I'm going to tell him how I feel so a line can be drawn under it all.

Went with the gentlest let down i could. I hope he's not a dick about it.

banghead Bumble has a bff section. Have met a girl i really get on well with

Also... on the way out of the pub earlier a group of three chaps went past and i made prolonged eye contact and smiled at one i fancied. He returned it and a bit of me hoped he'd turn around and come talk to me but instead i just heard male laughter and banter. Not mean spirited stuff.

I wish it was easier to do the real world thing

@MoreNiceCereal I'm glad I'm rid of him aswell. Think he only ever saw me as fwb or a FB. And only when convenient for him.

I'm seeing Mr Surgery tomorrow, I have missed him so much as I haven't seen him in 2 weeks. He is unlike any man I have met. He makes me happy and feel loved and that's the most important thing.

Oh bless him. After having asked if i wanted to meet again he has now styled it out and agreed there was no spark.

My date offer after three messages has gone quiet and the other two un matched me!

I’ve been chatting to an iron on hinge with great chat, moved to WhatsApp, potential I thought. He’s just told me he left his wife earlier this year because he was having a mid life crisis and she was menopausal, then had a fling with a woman half his age who turned out to be nuts. I guess that one is a no then! FFS! His poor wife..

Mr Carribbean has just texted me. Ok, I'm happy for you. I won't call anymore then. I haven't spoken to him in 3 months when he ended it because he was being posted to Canada for 2 years.
There really must be something in the water this month. I have heard from 3 ex's within the space of a month.

Christ @Ginghampanther he sounds a right charmer!

Hello all,
I have been very quiet for a week - ferocious time at work..I have caught up on everyone's news - loads going on!
I did go and meet the guy last week who told me he lied about his location - he is in the military and a small community, he wanted to be a little less obvious online.
He was lovely, but 70 miles away..not sure if/how that would work out if we were to carry on seeing each other . I will see him again though, I think.
Still messaging one other who I do really like, but we have been messaging for about 2 weeks now, neither of us have been free. I sent him a message today asking if he is still into us meeting up and gave him some times over the next week that I am free - I am hoping that's not too pushy. I don't want to message endlessly though - I think if he can't make any of them then I give up? Waiting 3-4 weeks seems too long?
He is on WhatsApp ALOT (I am too, so I can't judge!) and I would think he is chatting to a number of people - he is often online but doesn't read my message which is a little irritating - not sure if that is a bad sign though, or he is just busy.
Apart from that, all other chats have kind of just faded out - I didn't realise that happened quite so much!
Blimey - waffling on there. Hoping everyone is having a lovely evening.

I spoke to Mr S for nearly 4 weeks before meeting him because of our busy schedules and personal circumstances. I would say that it's not ideal as I was getting over invested before we had met and I had an idea of what he would be like. Luckily for me he turned out to be exactly as I expected but it's not always the case.

@TimeTravellingDiamond doesn’t he just?! And he has the same name as my ex 😅

Actually there is one more iron, mr ship, who got back in touch after over a week. It was him who sent the last message too and I didn’t reply. He seems quite nice really. We’ll see!

I couldn't go near someone with the same name as my ex. 😱

Thanks @Dancerinthemoonlight
I’m worried I’m over investing a bit
Or that we’ll have messaged loads & he will have someone else that he then chooses to stick with..

I can’t bring myself to swipe on any younger guys, it feels weird they are usually way out of my league

@Menora don't put yourself down. Honestly all my best dates have been the younger guys

Just feels weird as my daughter is 17! I am 39 😂

I'm no good on liking younger guys either ; I am feeling really ancient at the moment , and it seems they are all looking for younger women.

I don’t think I look 39 (not a brag) but I am fatish and have teenagers I’m also boring, I don’t like high heels, going out drinking or sexting 😂

I literally want a nice man to go to museums with me and play scrabble

That sounds reasonable - I'd like the same with a glass of Wine and the cinema . I'm 46, am blessed of thigh, a bit wobbly and knackered after work!

I can confirm that the stockings and suspenders were a hit 😁😂

You go girl x

Woo hoo!