Dating Thread 175 - It's not you, it's them. Also: people are weird at Christmas time.

[MoreNiceCereal]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

SBD1 here, just checking in, changed my username for various reasons.

I just wanted to see how everyone was doing with dating?

And....I got my decree absolute today yay!

And I'm now at 4 months with Mr C

@Sunshineandflipflops you can get some great ones on Ann summers that actually come as a full pack. I've used both different sets (IE normal expensive and these). In my opinion these were much much better. The suspender belt also comes in a thicker band so can cover a mum Tum if you have One. Or a small version. You can also buy crotchless tights that give an illusion of stockings.

Give it a try sunshine 😁

I unexpectedly met Mr No Tattoos today.
He was working about 5mins away from me so asked if he could come and say hello. And he brought me a coffee!

So far so lovely. Except that he is 8 years older than me. In his photos he looked ok. But in reality he looked a lot older. I think his photos are a few years out of date.

Here's the problem. We had already agreed to meet next week for a drink. And having dropped off the coffee and had a little chat, he assumed we would still be meeting.

He seems like a nice person and I think I would get on well with him. But I'd feel like I was dating my dad!
Do I meet him again and give him a second chance or find some excuse not to go for the drink?

If he’s always going to be a defo no then maybe say you are seeing someone now 🤷🏼‍♀️ Or the old looking for different things

8 years is nothing -or is it that he looked a lot older than that?

He seems like a nice person and I think I would get on well with him. But I'd feel like I was dating my dad!

Omg this is exactly what I think (7 years younger) Mr E thinks about me 😱 that he's dating his mum!! Why do you feel like that Echo? Does he look/act very old? Or is it just the age difference?

Argh! My potential date this weekend is 8 years younger. I think I’m just going to cancel!! He’s late 30s but when I didn’t answer a text of his I gotta row of 🤷‍♂️ which I think is a bit childish. He’s also told me today he needs a hug. I’m getting high maintenance vibes...

Sunshineandflipflops I agree, 8 yrs seems like nothing. But the difference between 52 (me) and 60 (him), seems much bigger.
He probably looks his age but I was expecting someone younger looking based on his photos.

Peanutbuttermouth I only met him for about 5mins. Judging by our chats and that brief encounter, I'd say he acts younger than 60.
But his physical appearance reminds me of my dad when he was that age.

echo it is an issue for you that isn’t going to go away, a form of ick. There’s nothing wrong with giving him a swerve therefore. Maybe ‘lovely to meet you, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to pass on taking this further. All the best now x’

Yes, go with your gut every time.

It depends on the person how old they seem I think and their attitude etc. My best female friend is 12 years younger than me but we get on

Mr G is seven years older than me but it doesn't make any difference apart from me teasing him once in a while. Age is more a mindset when you get to adulthood, I think.

That's true, a few of my closest friends are around a decade older/younger than me.
I've never noticed any difference when Mr E and I are together, we make each other laugh and we have plenty to talk about. It's just insecurity.

That’s true jane but if someone looks a certain age and the other person is not ok with that, it doesn’t matter what they’re like in other ways. I speak as someone who is 57, I totally get that is probably an issue with most men my age and younger. And I actually have a problem with men who are/look 60 🤷‍♀️ The heart/body wants what it wants.

The heart/body wants what it wants And I have always dated younger for this reason.
I have free Bumble at the moment and can see all my likes. When I can see all the younger men (many in their 30s) who've swiped right, it's difficult to say yes to someone a lot older.

And I know that most of those likes mean nothing, so I'm not matching with them.

My parents have a 10yr age gap. It never seemed a problem until recent years. My mum still has lots of energy and zest for life, my dad sadly is struggling. And it's leading to a lot of conflict between them. Although, I think a big part of that is down to my parents marriage.

I've decided to meet him again. I like his character and personality. I've judged him on meeting him for 5 minutes. He didn't look as I expected but I think I need to spend a bit more time with him before I decide.

Most of my friends are about 10yrs younger than me, so I'm used to being around people in their 40s. Not in their 60s.

@TigerDater yes you’ve got to be attracted to them and if your not it doesn’t matter the reason .

Oh god. Did not fabcy Mr Rigger at all at all.
So so disappointed.

That's a shame, NoMore. Any other irons?

yorkshiremummy
Congratulations on finally being divorced.

I can apply for mine next week but we havent sorted the consent order yet.....

I have decided not to bother filing for divorce, I'll let him shoulder the burden. It makes no difference to me right now, and I will never marry again, so if he wants to get hitched to another woman, he can deal with the legalities. I don't want to.

That elusive spark nomore it never seems to go both ways (for me anyway). 🍷

Congratulations yorkshire How does it feel? I’m still waiting.

At the moment the thread title is so accurate in my life. Had a phone call or should I say several calls from Mr Carribbean, when I did eventually answer as I was busy he was annoyed that I didn't know who he was as I had deleted his number. I was busy and didn't have time to talk. I have since texted him that yes I deleted his number as we were over and that I am in a new relationship and very happy with him. No idea if I will hear back but I don't want to. He no longer has a hold over me like he used to. It felt so good hanging up on him as he always hated when I did that and would treat me like a child. Don't hang up on me because I won't call you back. Have you brushed your teeth, have you had a shower? Etc.
So happy I found Mr Surgery.

Wow, Dancer, what a piece of work! Glad you are rid of him.