Opinions on this dating situation desperately wanted please!

[LastChanceSaloon2019]

Hello...I'm after people's opinions please on a dating situation I've found myself in as I really can't see the woods for the trees at the moment.

NC so this isn't linked to my other posts.

I'll try to be brief and just give you the facts, but would welcome brutal honesty as to what you think of the situation and what you think I should do next?

Been single over 3yrs, have done OLD and had lots of dates. Met a variety of men but the few I really liked turned out to be idiots and so it never went anywhere.

Latest guy I've been dating for a few months. On paper he's everything I'm looking for, plus I find him totally gorgeous and the chemistry we have is unreal. My profile on the site we met on said I was looking for a relationship and from what he's said I believe he shares the same opinion on the things mentioned above.

For context I'm a lone parent, although child free EOW and during school holidays plus have family close by who are happy to babysit.

So... this is where I'm struggling. We've had two midweek 'sober' dinner dates which were lovely, but instigated by me.

Our other dates have been on the weekends I'm child free and alcohol featured heavily, but were very enjoyable.

The week during half term I was child free (which he knew) and we made loose plans to go out for a meal but because I "didn't give him a kick up the arse" it never happened.

We normally msg daily - nothing excessive but just a "hey how are you" or "have a good day" etc. Some days we msg more depending on what we're chatting about.

He went quiet once which I mentioned and he was very apologetic and things went back to how they were. All good.

But something now just feels off. Three days of radio silence last week after I replied to a msg he sent me. His excuse? He thought he'd replied

He Avoids questions I ask him.

He Cancelled a weekend away together last weekend that we'd planned (had to visit a sick relative instead) the three days silence were the days leading up to when we were going away. I'd sorted childcare for this weekend.

He's away this weekend, when I'm child free but hasn't attempted to make plans to see me again. Which means if I don't... it would be 4 weeks until I see him next.

He messaged me this morning, which I replied to but yet again it's just radio silence...!

I'm not a needy person, and know I've not come on too strong as he said one of the things he likes about me is I don't stress him out but this doesn't look great does it?

We've both said we're not dating others and we have slept together.

So... if you've made it this far, thank you for reading and I'd welcome your thoughts and opinions

Well done on putting an end to it!

As others have said, guys can drag this bs on for years if you let them; throwing a crumb out every so often. Yuk. Who needs the stress and heartache from that mindfuck.

Having learned the hard way several times, I learned that men lie and tell you what you want to hear to get a shag. I just assume they are lying until their actions prove differently. Shame it has to be that way, but they've caused it.

Also learned what PP said, "He is probably relying on you being polite , nice , and accommodating." is true.

We're so conditioned to be that way and it's hard not to be, even when dealing with rude people like he was.

Men see polite as doormat and weak. You don't see guys treat each other that way as it comes off as weak.

If you ever decide to OLD again practice being blunt and to the point with men. Also, remain a mystery. When you lay out how badly you've been treated in the past so soon, again, it just makes you seem weak in their eyes. They don't know you well enough to have empathy about things like that.

Practice being blunt and no so accommodating. Put yourself first. You'll weed out the losers fast and crumb throwers like this one.

Remember there are many many men out there and you never have to audition for the part of girlfriend.

Being a Man , i can tell you that's not what a man truly interested would do. Not that he cannot be busy with some things but the way you have written is makes me feel as if he is constantly trying to get his way out. If he is not dating other woman he will try to squeeze in a time to get the most of it with you. So, you know what is best to do. probably just float away , don't react.

If he's so good looking and lovely then you won't be the only woman interested in him, and he sounds very much the type not to be able to pass up a woman who seems likely.

He might not be actually dating other women but I bet my bottom dollar he's chatting to loads. He probably forgets who he's messaged when and what he's said!

If he'd been that bothered then the situation would never have arisen in the first place with the non-communication. And his automatic assumption that there must be another man involved just shows which way his thoughts lie.

Not that he's just not that into you, but that he's also into lots of other people at the same time. Well done for getting shot of him.

He has given you a past relationship story, he admitted to cheating? Yuck! plus typing gutted makes him sound like some kind of knuckle dragger.

Having witnessed my much older sisters get treated badly by their husbands and two returning home when I was a teenager and seeing their divorces gave me a wariness of men from a very young age. Made me very cynical. Men have found me extremely difficult apparently. I never did this must be nice to them just because we are conditioned to be. My poor sisters and their unhappiness did me a favour really.

As soon as he admitted to cheating I would have dumped him and told him. Talk about a guy over confident in his abilities to make women want him. He was basically telling you he was scum.

How are you feeling, OP? Did you meet up?

I am so sorry wrong thread! I’ve reported it to be deleted. So sorry OP!