He won't accept we're separated

[cece]

We split nearly three months ago after I found out about an inappropriate relationship with another woman. It's not the first time and I said if it happened again we'd split. So we have.

However, he's still messaging me daily to ask me to talk about saving our marriage. I've told him repeatedly I don't want to talk about this as it's over. I feel trapped. He's just not listening to me.

Can you take the kids away for at least part of this week to visit relatives? That way you can avoid a scenario where you're stuck having to play pretend happy families with him. You could also offer to leave the kids with him for a portion of the time and you could go out and have some time on your own---go for a walk, look at Christmas lights, go to the cinema, visit a friend.

He's trying to wear you down with the guilt-tripping, the begging, and the refusal to move forward with mediation. Go back to your solicitor, explain the situation, and ask how you can proceed with the divorce. He cannot stop you from divorcing forever.

he's a manipulative dripping tap....

Ignore and get the divorce papers filed.

There is no point in responding to him, because he will refuse to listen as it's not what he wants to hear.

Detach and don't respond or engage.

File the divorce papers as soon as possible OP. You need to tell this man as a pp said, "I don't love you anymore, I am divorcing you". You are being so brave, I can't imagine how much of a drain this is, particularly with three children. I would suggest getting out of the house at any cost, could you even go on "holiday" with the kids for a week over Christmas, just to get some space? Do not be manipulated by this person, he may have mental health issues but those are not your problem.

Argh!
On yr behalf.
He is being a manipulative d1kc

Thanks. Sometimes I doubt myself and think I'm being unreasonable. I plan to got to my mums the weekend after Christmas as it's his weekend with the kids.

I have quite a few plans to go out/visit people and gym classes so hoping it'll be manageable. But secretly hoping he goes to his mother's.

Dont doubt yourself They do this!.

They capitalise on you being a kind person. But there is a limit to what you can give out of kindness. And another decade of your life is not on offer because you're kind.

You have the right to end this marriage. Keep repeating that.

If you want to speed up the cycle, let his mask slip, tell him you dont care about his mental health as much as your own and you need to end the marriage for your own mental health. I think you will see anger v quickly. How dare you not be easily manipulated?

He is asking you what to do so TELL him.

I would like you to do X as it would be in the DC interests so they get respite from the atmosphere.

"The best and only present I could wish for is to start to rebuild our relationship."
I see it is still only about what HE wants, his present. Has he asked what you want? I bet not, in case you tell him. Tell him the best thing he can do is go to his mothers, and give you all some peace and relief from the atmosphere.
Agree with others that you need to move forward with the divorce- he has refused to go to counselling. He has been unfaithful despite you telling him if it happened again it would be over, so he shouldn't be surprised. His MH problems didn't make him betray you.

The best and only present I could wish for is to start to rebuild our relationship.

"I wasn't planning to give you a present this year."

The best and only present I could wish for is to start to rebuild our relationshiP

Should have thought about that BEFORE sticking your cock in someone else eh?

I'm sure the present you wanted was for him not to put his dick in another woman.

The least of cece's worries at this point id guess!
I wish you as peaceful a christmas as is possible. This time next year this awful period will be behind you.

🤞🏽

So he's staying for lunch and then heading to his mums. I think that's a reasonable compromise.

I've made it clear it doesn't mean we are rekindling our relationship but that it's for the kids.

I wonder how early I can serve lunch 🙄🤔

Don't have breakfast just go straight to brunch

Make sure you cook your turkey now so you can eat as soon as possible.

Give him a bit that's still frozen on the inside but burnt on the outside! ❄🍗🔥

Make sure you cook your turkey now so you can eat as soon as possible

Yip.. get it on NOW..

What does he say when you tell him he caused this by cheating twice? He sounds completely deranged.

So far I've had a nice day with kids. He went off at 8 to do a park run. I took the doc to go ice skating so didn't really see him till midday.

He's off to his mum's after lunch 😀

Well done. It sounds as if you have found a strategy to manage him and you aren't letting him back in - that's the main thing. Enjoy the rest of your Christmas!

And he's gone to his mums.

Relax.

Ice skating was that HCP? Can't believe it's open Christmas Day

Shame you couldn't get rid of him earlier 😂 when is he back?

Enjoy the peace of the next few days

No not hip. Gs. It's open in morning for Christmas Day skating and swimming.

He's not sure but thinks back Friday or Saturday morning. He's taking the DC to a sports event on Saturday afternoon.