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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He won't accept we're separated

819 replies

cece · 24/11/2019 21:33

We split nearly three months ago after I found out about an inappropriate relationship with another woman. It's not the first time and I said if it happened again we'd split. So we have.

However, he's still messaging me daily to ask me to talk about saving our marriage. I've told him repeatedly I don't want to talk about this as it's over. I feel trapped. He's just not listening to me.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 25/12/2019 17:27

GS???

Do those people get no leave!!!

As soon as he turns up "byeeeeee"

ThanksKOKO

Original poster
cece · 25/12/2019 20:41

G Spectrum

OP posts:
RandomMess · 25/12/2019 20:44

Yes I had worked it out, just cannot believe it's open 😳

Original poster
cece · 25/12/2019 21:28

It opens every year apparently. Just for hour and half.

OP posts:
Original poster
cece · 27/12/2019 05:53

So I've now had a long email from him.

Whilst he knows I said having Christmas lunch with him wasn't a sign I was willing to reunite with him.... he thinks it shows we are better off together etc etc. 4 bloody paragraphs. 🙈

OP posts:
TheoriginalLEM · 27/12/2019 06:20

Give him an inch...... Flowers

RandomMess · 27/12/2019 08:22

Just press on with serving the divorce papers and find out the process if he refuses to acknowledge/sign/return them.

I presume you are using unreasonable behaviour? I wonder if you can include something around his "poor MH" so he can't refute on the grounds his behaviour is due to being ill?

So "due to his poor MH he has not remained faithful and has sought other relationships and I am not able to tolerate this" as one of the reasons?

Stressedout10 · 27/12/2019 08:26

Can you change the locks while hes at his mums?

BaolFan · 27/12/2019 08:27

Don't respond - just file for divorce. You need to get the papers served on him.

Original poster
cece · 28/12/2019 06:31

He's now trying to stop me going out (not socially necessarily but at anytime) without my youngest child. He says I shouldn't be leaving them with my eldest who is 18. 'It's not fair on her'.

It would mean I have to take him to the supermarket etc. He has sen and can't cope with more than 10 mins in shops!

OP posts:
RandomMess · 28/12/2019 07:37

So if he's there he can look after the youngest...

Anyway it's up to your eldest not him whether they are happy to babysit the youngest.

Role in your weekend at your parents!!!

BaolFan · 28/12/2019 08:37

Tell him to mind his own business and focus his energies on finding somewhere else to live.

YouretheChristmasCarcass · 28/12/2019 13:24

Ah! So he thinks you have another man then. Or that you're actively looking.

What a fool. Naturally it doesn't occur to him that the reason why you want out is HIM. No, it's got to be 'someone else'.

Binglebong · 28/12/2019 13:25

So controlling behaviour.
Something to add to the divorce reasons.

FraglesRock · 28/12/2019 13:47

When he's got the children he can decided who looks after who. When they're with you, it's your decision

CrocodileFrock · 28/12/2019 14:33

"He's now trying to stop me going out (not socially necessarily but at anytime) without my youngest child."

I'm going to take a wild guess here but does he by any chance think that this new little rule of his should only apply to you and not him?

I think I know the answer already...

He no longer has any say in what you do.

ineedaholiday11 · 28/12/2019 15:06

Press on with serving the papers. Sounds like he will not go-operate / consent. If that happens it could drag on for years so deffo get the ball rolling just in case.

Original poster
cece · 31/12/2019 14:37

I've processed the divorce this morning. Apparently it's already been posted to him.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 31/12/2019 14:48

Wow that seem efficient 😳

Batten down the hatches Thanks

TheReef · 31/12/2019 15:33

Onwards and upwards op Thanks

NettleTea · 31/12/2019 15:42

brilliant

YouretheChristmasCarcass · 31/12/2019 15:44

New Year, new LIFE!!

Good for you!

pemberlyshades · 31/12/2019 15:48

Yipppppeeeee!!!!

pointythings · 31/12/2019 16:03

Best New Year's resolution EVER!

Mix56 · 31/12/2019 16:24

Well done. Any complaints from him, remind him he didn't seem to give much of a toss only couple of weeks ago.

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