He won't accept we're separated

[cece]

We split nearly three months ago after I found out about an inappropriate relationship with another woman. It's not the first time and I said if it happened again we'd split. So we have.

However, he's still messaging me daily to ask me to talk about saving our marriage. I've told him repeatedly I don't want to talk about this as it's over. I feel trapped. He's just not listening to me.

Eek presumably he needs somewhere that caters to his SEN and WC has zero specialism at all in any SEN?

If he is not interested in the children don't force it.

It is disturbing for a child to spend every other weekend with a parent who obviously gives no fucks about them. This tends to be combined with extreme gaslighting by the supposedly nice parent who keeps pushing the narrative that daddy is a good daddy who loves you very much and spouts increasing desperate excuses for the unbothered parent's bad behaviour. It fucks with their minds.

Said it before & I’ll say it again....the man’s an absolute knob.

He's trying to put off committing to two weeks in the summer holidays!

Complete knobbing knobber!!!

Assume he will do nothing over the holidays. He will very much enjoy keeping you on the hook, engaged in discussing it with him, nagging him, thinking about him. Bollocks to that. Nice breezy. "OK, let me know when you decide." Then go silent.

Been through this for several years now. I really feel for you.
I had to threaten with the divorce that if he didn’t sign, I’d have them served when he is working, so he finally signed. Took over 3 years for that to happen.
I also had the mental health/suicide/crying/disappearing/no maintenance/no childcare access threats.
The only constructive thing I have to add is DO NOT fall for his spiel, keep everything logical and factual (responses to messages etc.), ignore the messages about getting back together and only respond to the necessary ones re the children. He is - and will - continue to try and guilt trip/manipulate you. It’s all a game to get his own way.
Secure the house (lose keys and lock change if this makes it legal? or double lock door when you go out) - you need this as your safe space.
Take support from family and friends (and MN) as it could be a long road (like mine) but really really hope that for you, it’s a lot quicker.
Mine may have dragged a bit longer because for the first year, I felt guilty about his ‘MH’ so tried to talk him around/support and even though I was saying we will never be back together, he took my care of his MH as something to latch on to and a reason that I might change my mind. I wish I had been cold as ice from the beginning.
Good luck.

If he won't 'commit', then you have no choice but to take away his options and make plans of your own.

Tell him when he can have them. Be inflexible if you have to. But make childcare arrangements for the whole period jic he 'changes his mind' at the last minute.

I can't recommend an app called 2houses more for situations like this. You can arrange all matters parenting on there with them, including scheduling, and block them everywhere else. For some reason, my ex is much more co-operative and reasonable on there.

Thanks I'll take a look at that

I've phoned in sick. I've developed a really horrible cold and youngest dc has been up since 2 am due to anxiety about world book day.

Everyone deserves a duvet day. If WBD is causing anxiety then I would just give it a miss. I'm a bookseller and I wouldn't want books causing anxiety with anyone.

Watch Netflix. Get a pizza. Forget the world.

How's it going, hopefully the DC will have to self isolate at his 😂

Having a bit of a crisis with my elderly mum. She's been in hospital since last Friday and having an operation tomorrow.

😢

Hugs x

Hope your Mum's operation goes well tomorrow.

🤞🏽me too

💐 for Mum

Operation has eased the pain but she needs to see a different consultant now as it wasn't what they thought it was.

Good luck with it all 💐

Update
My household is on lockdown
Ex still not signing any paperwork
Have mediation for secondary school place next Friday
Mum still in hospital and still in pain

Thinking of you x

Doctor has now decided mum needs a biopsy on her liver 😭