Dating thread 174 - where we remind everyone of rule no.13

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Checking in and trying to catch up.
But I wanted to say good luck with your exam to @shitwithsugaron
And I hope Mr B wakes up soon and realises what an amazing woman you are, before he loses you.

banghead yes i think so.

And Mr Dr soubds like he's being oorn and honest atm. I wouldn't tar him with the same brush as your ex.... everyine deserves a fresh start. Including you.

*open even

I've put myself back on Tinder and POF. And now I wonder why I bothered.
1st - decided to shorten my name, instead of saying Hello EchoElephant, he said Hello Ec. Then commented that I look too good for my age.
2nd - having a great chat until he tells me he works every evening except Fridays. But has loads of free time to date. Er...daytime only?
3rd - called me beautiful and a ray of sunshine. When I said thanks, not sure how to answer that, he said well never mind then and unmatched me.

@echo - sounds a little too overfamiliar, and was pushing for compliments for himself.....

@PinkMonkeyBird this would raise red flags with me too but you've met his friends and family so you are more to him than just a casual date. See how it goes.

How do people deal with insecurity though? It can really eat you up. I've been feeling a bit like this with someone where their ex is still floating around. They were seeing each other but essentially she cheated then denied they were ever a couple in the first place. I shouldn't feel insecure as I'm twice the woman if not more but she was pretty wild in many respects and keeps reminding the person I'm seeing (albeit casually) how great they were together sexually. He says he will never go back after how she treated him but it annoys me a bit....

Am also the opposite to Menora 😂😉

Mr BC and I properly click in that way but that's what comes of meeting on Fab!

@bangheadhere40 Thank you. Mmmm. That's what bothered me....the admitting he previously had a sexual attraction towards her. I've just also spoken to a friend of mine and she thinks it would be nuts for him to want to risk fucking things up now considering he is set on telling all his friends we are now in a relationship. It's via my friend's partner in how we met so he isn't a random person and there's a mutual friend who has known him for years.

I think my gut feeling for now is to give the benefit of the doubt, but I will be asking him more about her later on. He's just messaged me now to say he is on his way to visit her. I guess until anything concrete happens that actually affects things between us, I have nothing else to go on. I certainly can't make demands that he not see her. We talked about what happened with me being cheated on and either he is a very good actor or genuinely against cheating, but his reaction was that people should be completely be honest.

He is definitely invested in 'us' from his actions and the way he talks. I've been a right prickly cow towards him today, not my usual chatty self in our messages.

bangheadhere40 never thought of it like that, but yes, you're probably right.

And these were 3 different men!

@Eesha I haven't met them his friends and family yet, it's all imminent. His actions and words are that we are now in an exclusive relationship and not just 'dating'. So I do take something from that.

My close friend (who I've discussed it with this afternoon) says why on earth would he choose someone like her (totally fucked up) over me and risk everything? As I've said to one of the PP, I will be having a conversation about their friendship in one way or another. I don't want to go about demanding things, but I need some honesty without me sounding like a crazy jealous bitch LOL.

Generally he comes across as a very kindhearted and generous person towards his friends. I'm just hoping it is that and nothing else. But to answer your question about dealing with insecurity, I don't know ...it is hard. I'm trying my best to be trustful, but when you've been cheated on...it is difficult.

@PinkMonkeyBird i think it sounds like you are doing the right thing, wait until you have anything concrete to base things on. But he sounds like a decent guy from your descriptions x

@PinkMonkeyBird I’d give him the benefit of the doubt but be quietly vigilant. Some men are suckers for women who need ‘rescuing’ though if he has good sense should prefer a sterling woman like you

@Menora now I’m worried MrSexBloke might be planning to murder me

@pink hope it goes ok, that was the only thing that stuck out from you post...the previous attraction, but if he's being honest then that could be a good thing.

The more I talk to MrStraight the more I bloody like him. He's a lot more nice than a lot of men and I fancy him to boot. I doubt we will meet though, and if we do it wouldn't work because of the distance. I would be happy with fwb, but I think he would be appauled, for it to be worded in that way anyway 🤔 maybe I just need to meet him and if he's as sexy as I think then pounce 🤭

@echo...I thought it was the same man, sorry.

@esha...I have insecurities, I think the trick is to look at the facts rather than what you get carried away with in your head.

@utter don't worry, if he was going to murder you he would have last week, so you will be fine.

Sorry about the murder, doesn’t help the Tinder date murder in the news does it!

Mr Polite is warming up, meeting Thursday but still chatting. It’s very very vanilla and friendly. He has no DC

Mr Local is marginally more flirty, also good looking. But he has different children with different women and the youngest is only 3 and that is really putting me off. Mine are older teens

@bangheadhere40 haha thanks for the reassurance. He texted me today but not replying while I am with my daughter, doesn’t seem appropriate

My actual domestic iron doesn’t see much use either. If I do get up the courage and find the time for Mr SexBloke I’ll let you know

@menora, I hadn't seen that on the news, I feel bad now ☹

Echo I’m getting similar since I rejoined POF yesterday.
Guy asked me if I was a traveller 😐
Someone else called me “hun” and told me he’s homeless.
Someone who lives 50 miles away asking if I want to chat.

I don’t get the people that say they have plenty of free time when they work 50 + hours a week, have 6 children by 3 different women and play golf 🤔

@menora that would put me off with first impressions, if he is a good dad though and is taking his responsibilities seriously that would impress me also..

@lovemusic I wouldn't like being called hun, I would bin him.off.

Sorry! It’s not a nice one I think it was a hook up with a young girl, ONS and he is claiming sex gone wrong. I’m already wary anyway I wouldn’t go back to someone’s house first night I’m too wimpy. I have done in the past though!

@menorah yeah think I recall. I wouldn't either, although have done in the past..

When I think of the situations I put myself in a few years ago it's scary. Luckily it turned out ok,but no way would I do now