Dating thread 174 - where we remind everyone of rule no.13

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@SimonJT sounds like he has listened and taken on board what you said, which is good.

@uttersocks, imagine that, an iron in your house! I've only 1 iron in my house and that doesn't get much action either....

I would love to just message Mr Straight, meet him and see...I would be up for a FWB if they were right....but he seems very straight and serious....and I may scare him off.

@Lovemusic33I hate pizza, but would go for a chippy and shag!

Impulse me hasn’t done anything in person 😂 😬

I am very nervous at the prospect of any sex

Firstly there is getting naked
Secondly he could murder you

Thirdly last time I was dating, I ended up feeling really crap about sex. I really miss it and am a sexual person but one was all on his terms and they way he liked it only, and the other was scared of sex and too nervous to manage it

I honestly don’t know if I can do sex again 😂

Pizza, chippy, few nibbles 😂😂😂.

Getting naked and murdered 😂😂.

Menora just go with the flow and wait until you feel comfortable with someone. I miss sex, Mr skinny was pretty vanilla and always wanted to do it with the lights off, it didn’t feel fun at all . I would love to find someone I have sexual chemistry with, the last one was Mr SA who was amazing. I think it’s hard to find that connection where you feel completely comfortable with someone.

@lovemusic....MrSkinny sounds a bit boring, and I don't like skinny men so it could be his name that's putting me off.

It's very hard to find someone you are truly attracted to, I ended up doing it sometimes with my ex partner, but I had no desire for him. It would be good to find someone I do. I tend to get bored pretty quickly too, and the lust wears off.

I was really attracted to the last one scared of sex 😂 He was my type physically and he was very nice man. I was extremely turned on by just being around him but it didn’t take long for me to go off the boil, he was just so unsexual in reality, despite all the ‘talk’. I ended up feeling really unattractive and would go home all flustered and unsatisfied after spending all evening sitting watching TV. All I wanted to do was bang 😂

The thing is I am not attracted to men who are overly sexual or in any way dominating. I am probably more dominant. But I just like someone who will be in the moment and enjoy it and not hold back or over think it. Which is why I usually tend to go for men who are very very very ‘nice’ and therefore safe, but often are not very confident sexually

Sexual chemistry is great when you properly find it. I think the reason I stayed with MrSAS for so long was the sexual chemistry. Turns out that's not enough though if they can't offer you monogamy!

I am a walking contradiction of nice guys come last, show me a bloody lovely kind nice super polite man who has no sexual banter, I want him 😂😂😂 then I am disappointed. I probably like the concept of unlocking their repressed-ness and corrupting them

True @sunshine, the only one man I had an amazing chemistry with also wasn't monogamous.

I want to find someone to corrupt now!

On my previous time on POF ( a few years ago), I met a very kind man Mr Swim.....I saw him for a while but he shocked me! He was very nice and quiet but in the bedroom he was literally screaming all sorts of filth at the top of his voice. It really put me off TBF and I just wanted to laugh at him, and used to put me off.

Cards on the table, I am ashamed of it now and regret it, but it cannot be denied.

the best sex I ever had was completely unplanned and spontaneous. I bumped into a school dad who was out on the town his friends had left him behind. Our DC in the same class, I had said hi to him before but not friends or anything. He always seemed like a nice friendly non douche bag guy, fun and sweet and a family man. He told me he was separating from his wife and as we lived near each other, we caught a cab home at the end of the night. Huge mistake, but it was absolutely mind blowing to be honest. And yes, turned out he had not left his wife, 😡 and the rest of the school terms were really horrible and awkward for us both. I don’t either of us ever told anyone about it

Menora I’m the same, I don’t want someone too big headed and dominant, I prefer to be in charge or for it to be 50/50.
Mr Skinny was just way too boring and I hate having sex in the dark, he never attempted oral or anything remotely exciting, I got bored very quickly, I don’t think he had much experience and never even asked me what I liked. Mr SA was much better, we talked a lot about sex and discussed what each other liked, the chemistry was amazing but it wasn’t enough for him to want a relationship, would be great to find that chemistry again but with someone who wants to settle.

No I find nothing more of a turn off than slapping bums, being rough or anything like That

banghead you just made me proper snort with that comment about irons

Menora total opposite to me. I'm filthy and more on the sub side
Was really looking forward to Mr Copper fwb - he was v into all thr things that get mr going but he found a date-date and wanted to focus on her, which was fine but shame i didn't get screwed first.

FYI if you click the 'like me on tinder' button it should take you to my full profile...

One if the reasons I'm happy to have a ldr with Mr G is our chemistry - through the roof insane, we can't keep our hands off each other from the moment we meet up. All night type chemistry. We slept together on our first date and it was good, but it's gotten much better since. We are on the same wavelength and we just click. It's also really awesome that we actually like each other too. Shame about the ocean in the way, but you can't have everything I guess.

I want pizza and sex...

I'm having first date + drink; I may launch myself at him at this rate

Oh FFS. So with me posting earlier about things being rosy. I have what could be a bit of a red flag which has popped up and this could be my own insecurity playing here. I was cheated on by my ex with a much younger woman.

So MrDr messaged to say he was visiting one of his female friends tonight. She has a LOT of issues (alcohol and MH etc). He helps her with academic stuff, apparently - she's doing a degree. She's in her late 20s and when we talked about relationship history at the weekend he admitted he'd initially had a sexual attraction towards her when they first met. This was all in the context of discussing dating/relationships etc and why he hadn't met anyone in the past few years etc. He is good friends with another ex, she has a partner.

All within this message today he also said he hoped the good news that he had met someone so lovely (me) would cheer her up. It does sound platonic, but I can't help feeling a bit uneasy. He told me the extent of her problems and she sounds very fucked up. She is in a mess today with some academic issue so he is going over to help her get some perspective.

Question is..do I need some perspective on this? Am I over thinking it?

@pink he could be a nice guy and trying to help, but as he has mentioned previous sexual attraction it would concern me TBF - these things don't just go away.

I'm finding it hard with MrStraight (the one who lives 2 hours away and said we live too far who I haven't yet met). He just messaged me saying he's not having much luck on POF as no one is living up to me and what he thinks of me.....he seems a nice guy, I certainly fancy him but I can see he's not the standard good looking guy.

I think I need to let him crack on, keep in touch and let him see for himself if he meets anyone, whilst keeping in touch. Does this sound a good plan, rather than pushing for a meet?