Dating thread 174 - where we remind everyone of rule no.13

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

**

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Yep, often

Just watched a funny video of Lewis Capaldi giving Tinder dating advice. He's a laugh.

Aww love Lewis , there’s a lot to be said for humour and talent.

@saltysally I’m just a chatty person anyone so i find it odd 😂

Well I do. I find the constant messaging thing an irritation. I have stuff to do. I like the occasional check in but not the bloody constant back and forth.

I don't like to chat much anyhow but still notice the drop once a date is set

Date 5 with Mr E finished, got tipsy on hot gin and told him I want a night with him and thankfully he was enthusiastic about the idea. However the old iron who I bumped into is now texting me. The sex was great with him so it's very tempting to reply, talk me down please!! I absolutely don't want to spoil things with Mr E who is dead set on an exclusive thing with me.

@Peanutbuttermouth don’t do it ! Stick with Mr. E who is present.

I think I’m just paranoid and fairly new to this 🤣. Must remind myself to play it cool 😂

Thankyou jane you're right Mr E is present and keen and absolutely lovely. Old iron was a twat, hence why he's no longer an iron. Good reminder 👌🏼

He ghosted you didn't he? Maybe just return the favour.

Yes and whatever issues he had if you were having sex he could have took 30 seconds to send a message to say that

Thank you for the wake up call
whatever issues he had if you were having sex he could have took 30 seconds to send a message to say that
Exactly this!!

@peanutbuttermouth def stick with ur current iron.

so agreed to go for food on fri with mr local, no time arranged yet. agreed to call once I'd put daughter to bed. messaged to say I was free for a call at 8pm and not heard from him since even tho he's been online. what is wrong with guys?! he seemed like the most normal out of them all.

however another new iron who I thought had lost interest, mr rough, did call and we spoke for 3hrs.

Jane I definitely do. I like to set a date fairly quickly and until then just chat sporadically. I've found I can get over invested too soon and this keeps it to a minimum. Bit of getting to know you chat, make a date, meet in person and go from there. I've had a build up of anticipation and momentum plenty of times before and then no chemistry!

Matched with a bloke online yesterday. Spoke on text and phone, he seemed smart and fun. However. He was very complimentary over my pics and mentioned I look very small, which I'm not and said so. I am 5'6" and a size 14-16 (currently losing weight).

He asked what my size was and I told him, he sounded shocked and kept saying 'i can't believe you're that size, you don't look it' as though 14-16 is huge. He then insisted on video calling, presumably to check my pics were genuine/ recent (they are!). He kept going on about how shocked he is that I am the size I am and continued with the compliments.

I said that if he prefers a slimmer woman, I was not offended and happy to leave things but he insisted this was not the case and he likes 'curves'. I now feel quite self conscious!! Yes, I'm over my ideal weight but hardly a newsworthy size... We did have a lot to talk about and a good laugh otherwise. What does anyone think with regards continuing speaking to this one? Second in a row who's been a bit funny!

Sorry, so long!!

Newbie here.

Signed up to Bumble last month, not had much luck. Been talking to one guy I matched with, my friend calls him Mr Love Island. We keep arranging to meet then he either has to rearrange or goes quiet. I've told him I don't think it will happen and he keeps responding with he is still keen so we arrange something else and the cycle continues.

I've given up now which is a shame as he seems a nice guy and we have stuff in common but I can't keep putting my other arrangements on hold as we have arranged something only for him to go quiet the day before. It's been 3 weeks since we matched. Maybe I should just call him instead of message I don't know but I feel it's a lost cause, I'm not good on calls I get really anxious even calling friends but I'm willing to give it a go if I need to. I do wonder if he has other women he is also talking to.

I haven't dated in 16 years, been single for two of those years, it's all changed in that time.

Isitreally I would just keep looking if he keeps going quiet on the day you've arranged to meet. If nothing else it is terrible manners and there is no real excuse for it. I wouldn't have thought calling would change things tbh.

Isit he sounds like a time waster! Follow your instinct.
I had a thing with a younger guy earlier this year. We got together five times but there were "communication issues".
Eventually I laid it on the line and said I would love to see him once a month (he was a good lover unlike others!!). This was back in July. I heard not a word from him and though I was hurt to not even be worth a reply, moved on with my life.

Recently I was sent a picture of his dick. No words, just a dick pic!
Who says romance is dead?!!

@Feelingabitashamed. Im the same size as you and personally I’d feel uncomfortable with someone asking me my size and commenting about it. Obviously people have a type but I think they should be able to tell from your profile what you look like

@Isitreally77 I had this and it took a few months to meet. The meeting went great but then he wanted to put off meeting until jan ! Well either you like someone and see them or you don’t 🤷🏼‍♀️. So I said I’d have to pass if we weren’t going to be meeting , he wasn’t happy about that and was quite rude but it showed me we really weren’t suited !

Feeling you deserve better. He sounds obsessed with looks and size. Most of them are a WOS (waste of space) I have learned. Cynical I know. 😏

feeling he sounds pretty insensitive at best and a negger at worst. The correct response from a man when you tell him your dress size is ‘yum yum’ - though I would suggest it’s a rude question to ask and not one that has to be answered.

isitreally sorry, timewaster. There’s nothing wrong in him talking to other women at this stage but there’s no excuse for rudeness.

azzizam good to see you back!

@menora Being charitable, he might have been using one of those multi-card cards. MrSG has one (a curve card) and he keeps having to check it's currently assigned to the right card for things before using it. He's decided google pay does the same thing but is much easier and more convenient. And there's no upper limit in contactless. 😂

Thanks Tiger I don't post these days as I knocked the whole thing on the head as it was affecting my self esteem which was pretty low anyway!

Asking and then commenting on dress size is rude and unnecessary so I'd say negging. Block, next!

Thanks Jane Azzizam and Tiger this is it, he has seen honest photos. I'm a terrible selfie taker so there are no clever angles or anything! When I asked what he was looking for, looks was his first comment. He's texted me already today asking for more photos. I have had a shitty time gaining weight with meds and am only just getting it back down. I could really do without being made to feel uncomfortable about this! Perhaps he's one to ignore! Shame.