Dating thread 174 - where we remind everyone of rule no.13

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I know. I’m pretty disappointed tbh, but he didn’t make me laugh once, and he also only asked one question - whether a photo of me taken 32 years ago was really of me. The implication being I’m a shrunken old bat who is unrecognisable in that lissom young woman! I’m sure that wasn’t what he was deliberately implying, but it was the final nail in the coffin: he’s a clumsy, leaden man who is not for me. (Nice snog though 😊)

Urgh Tiger what a knob!

I’ve just been on a very long (sober) lunch date with Mr Polite, we also had a very nice kiss at the end and he was so sweet, he had tried to put his arm round me at one point

BUT I got a funny feeling when we paid the bill. I offered to split it and he was taken aback - it was only £15 each but I said look I am a modern woman 😂
He is not the type to be on his phone in my company. But we got to the bar to pay and I could see he was on a banking app and dithering, he then paid the £15 onto a credit card
I just got a funny feeling he has money problems. He’s renting and working after his divorce, no kids so I don’t know if there is back story I am unaware of. Just something about it made me wary. Am I being over cautious?

@menora that does seem a little odd I would expect someone to just have cash for lunch or a drink. But it might not be a deal breaker. I don’t get paid until tomorrow so I can’t spend anything today but I don’t have money issues as such

Tbh Menora I am forever losing my cards and have a 'spare' from a different bank to transfer money to as and when I need it from my main account when I have lost yet another card. Maybe something like this, or to keep impulse purchases to a minimum rather than being skint per se?

I'm fairly new. finding it hard to keep up, this thread moves so quickly. I love the idea of a meet but I'm north of the border.

I have quite a few 10+ yr younger guys message me. some of them I just cant speak to, they are so baby faced lol. I do find them to be less sleazy than those older.

initially I has been investing in 1 iron but recently kept up chatting with others. some fizzled out but have popped back up now feeling overwhelmed talking to them all.

mr rugby - seems to have become a fb. hes not ready for a relationship. I like him when with him but beginning to wonder if it'd work even if he was. he rarely txts but when he does we meet up 😕

mr IT - wants a relationship but doesnt have a lot of time. what bothers me is when I said well would u have time to get to know each other he said 'maybe, he'd try'. not sure I like that response. I told him that, he said ok but we're still chatting 😕

mr mechanic - stopped texting regularly. just chatting on and off. now just text to say he had a dream about me!

mr local - went quiet didnt reply to me after trying to arrange a call and date (both his suggestion) last week. he messaged last night saying I'd been quiet lol. now gonna arrange a date this weekend. works a lot but said hed not work as much if in a relationship and seems to want same as me.

chatted to others who also want to meet, which as they're asking quickly is good, but I dont think they're my type, looks wise and situation. I feel bad for chatting to them now.

I'm not sure it sits right with me texting them all. I'm just out of a LTR so really not used to it. urgh. sorry for the long post

But we are all single parents I think, and he isn’t. I probably have a different perfection of someone who is working and living in a small rented place not to have to put £15 on a credit card 😂
I only have £50 left till payday though 😂

Perception

Crikey crazycat that sounds exhausting! Have you hidden your profile so at least you don’t get any more to add to the confusion?

Oh God yes the MILF hunters!!! Mr BC is 7 years younger than me - so we're not in cougar territory, quite 😂

@Menora. He might have just been checking as it’s end of the month but you can’t really know without asking or seeing him again. I take out a cash for socialising etc so I know where I am

@crazycatlady20 I had a bunch of irons I was juggling back in September and it was insane really. I found it very stressful, I was so worried I would forget someone's name! I did, as it happens, forget that one iron's father passed away when he was 16 and after a few drinks asked him if he visits his dad much.😳😳😳 That was so, so embarrassing. But he was good natured and gave me allowances because I can't hold my drink. It didn't work with him for other reasons, but it was definitely a lesson learned.

Oh dear, morenice I’m sorry to say I’ve done the exact same thing twice in my life to close friends without even being drunk - mortifying!

@BatshitCrazyWoman but what do they want? Why would you have a 50 year old with sag when you could have a 30 something without? I don't really get it.

Also @saltysally it's ok to say you wouldn't go younger, but if I were any age up to 40 I wouldn't need to go younger. It's horrendous out there at my age.

unsmbiguous I think a lot genuinely just fancy older women more, some think older women are desperate with low boundaries, and some like the idea of sex with no fear of pregnancy (which they’re wrong about of course). And some loathsome individuals are piss-taking, misogynistic bastards.

@unambiguousbeard I am in my 40s too. Maybe I'm lucky I like slightly older men

I'm in my 50s though @saltysally it's a big difference.

@TigerDater no fear of getting pregnant at my age. I couldn't manage it at 40 let alone now. Sorry about Mr Train. Have you lost your FWB over him?

No, Mr Greedy (7 years younger 😊) wouldn’t let go in the end so I guess we could be back on. I don’t know - the wind has gone from my sails a bit

@tigerdater no because they just all appeared back. I'll need to look for that option.

@MoreNiceCereal I think I can deal with that side, it's more that I feel like I'm leading them on by initiating or responding to chats, knowing i have a date arranged fri with someone. plus I've met 3, and have all spoke of mtg again so if they ask at the same time or even ask what I'm doing at the weekend I'll be in a kerfuffle. do I just say I have a date or pretend it's a mate date?

I know its early days for all so doesnt prob need this amount of thought but it stresses me out at times.

I always said I was meeting friends.

I wouldn’t tell a potential date I was on another date. Just say out or with friends.

@unambiguousbeardmbiguousbeard oh okay other women have said that on here too

I never had a preference with age- I got married at 23 and he was 5 years older than me. Before that I was with someone 8 years older. So this is the first time in my life where I'm in a position to actually date younger guys.

I'm 31- wouldn't date younger than 22. And not it they look really young. But I care most about what a person is like and age isn't always a factor in that. FWB is actually very mature and has seen a bit of life. In others, he and his mates are still very childish but I find his stories amusing. I've needed lightheartedness after so much serious stuff to deal with.

Just had a quick drink with Mr Muscle. He's too uptight for me. Shame because he looks so good naked. Perfect amount of muscle definition.

I just found an old iron I liked on fab. I liked him more than he liked me so it didn't go anywhere. Shame to see him back on there when we could have been blissfully in love by now.

Do people find when you’ve arranged to meet someone they drop off the chatting a bit ?