Dating thread 174 - where we remind everyone of rule no.13

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Swerve, swerve! Someone with "crazy" exes - well what's the common denominator there, eh?

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking. I think as your children get older they become better company and comfort to you.

@TheTickingTime. I wouldn’t expect them
To say much about their ex at all except if it was in a context of a general story

I mentioned it the other day but Xmas is really hard too. This is my second Xmas as a single mum and it's sad they don't have a traditional family any more. I'm also sad being lonely and keep imagining if me and FWB we're together, doing Xmassy things together. It's stupid I know

TimeTravelling Christmas is hard, this is my 3rd being single though when I was with dp it was stressful as he had other children and his ex wanted him to spend it at their house so I was still alone. When I was seeing Mr Skinny he was moaning about Christmas and being alone and it was actually making me feel worse and guilty for not inviting him. Now I’m not dating anyone I feel much more positive about spending it alone with my dd’s. We just spend it at home and stay in pj’s all day, both dd’s have ASD and hate going anywhere Christmas Day. I am tempted to take a break from dating until after Christmas so I can concentrate on having a relaxing Christmas.

Xmas is actually a horrible and hard time of year. I think it will be your first alone @NoMoreWeepingAndWanking ?

I'm struggling this year as I might be spending mine alone and my family won't be together for outing reasons.

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking I think you are still quite vulnerable for OLD. You're still grieving quite significantly. I I think you're trying to fill the hole your husband left and it will never do that. I'm sorry. If you do OLD from a position of weakness you end up much worse. You need to do it from a position of not caring and enjoying the ride or it may make everything worse. I'm not suggesting you don't do it I'm just saying it's bloody tough out there and if you're already feeling low it may make things worse so be careful out there.

I've been lurking but no dating news over here. Infact,last date was July.
Thought perhaps joining a gym would start convo but it seems everyone is caught up in themselves and concentrating on their bodies. I'm a complete newbie so I get round all the equipment real quick,like 3 mins running,4 on the rowing and a bit on the weights. Theres two weights for legs and I always feel self conscious if a man sits infront whilst I'm opening and closing my thighs,I never know where to look Haha.
Theres a single bloke I quite fancy in my village,but haven't seen him since summer. And a friend mentioned that village man is enjoying his single life now wife has moved out ,chatting up lots of women and shagged her friends friend a while back. Sigh.
I'm on the northants,Warwick border,in the sticks with few pickings!

Xmas will be me and my daughter in our pjs. Then she’ll have another Xmas day on Boxing Day with her dad. It is hard but you have to make the best of it I guess. Friends keep saying they are excited for Xmas and I’m just not but I’m trying to get organised. This time last year everything was wrapped 😬.

This will be my first Christmas but we’re in the complicated situation of still living together. He has slept on the sofa for over 2 years anyway ( his choice ) so not much has changed apart from me seeing someone else. Even though I made the decision to end things it’s still hard when I think of things like holidays where we’ve had good times but then I remember how low I’ve felt when he’s had no desire to go near me or hardly speak to me ( that’s just the way he is ) and he’s promised to change so many times and I’ve finally realised that he will never change. I suspect he is Asexual. I most certainly am not! And I want to live my life rather than merely exist.

Not sure if I mentioned earlier in the thread but I met Mr Fit on Twitter, very much accidentally.

I'm up for a meet up

@Zoflorabore. Can one of you not move out ? I was in a v similar situation and when ex h moved out I felt so much better

Yeah let's do an end of jan meet in Brunei

Although Brum might be more convenient if less exciting

I wouldn’t get stoned to death in Brum! Bit cheaper too

Oh god @SimonJT that's not even funny.

Have a feeling you're London too.

I don't mean you're not being funny I mean it's beyond a joke!

End of Jan Birmingham after payday sounds good !

Oooh if someone in brum can think of a venue

It’s a shame we can’t start a referral list for people we chat too and are lovely but not quite right or too far away 😂 for us.

I'm trying to keep up with the thread... @unambiguousbeard pleased to hear the MrU is becoming a thing of the past and you're moving forward.

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking I agree with @unambiguousbeard when she says it's very early days for you. I remember reading your thread about you STBXH and how you had basically carried him emotionally through your marriage and thinking what a complete self absorbed shit he sounded - very similar to mine if I'm honest.

I think @Sunshineandflipflops is Midlands way as well. I'm in Devon, but currently at MrC's in Cornwall. Bristol is ooop North to us, it's quicker to get to Land's End🙈. He's gone out for the day to lay a new floor ('cos he's a bit handy like that) whilst I cook my first roast for him - he normally does it every Sunday. We're spending Christmas together with my DD - STBXH has decided he'd rather spend it with his family 400 miles away than see his DD. Christmas Eve & Christmas Day just the three of us, then we'll be hosting on Boxing Day when his extended family visit I can't wait. Completely head over heels still.

Hmmm @bangheadhere40 may be very close to my Mr Lakes but I'm not sharing him.

Wow @JeSuisPrest that is a really big deal! Xmas together. That sounds just lovely.

I've just been messaging STBXH re Xmas. Looks like I'll be spending it with him and the kids at mine then his GF will come for the evening. Sounds a bit weird but I think it will work. Also inviting my best male friend and his daughter. Sub plot is thatBMF and I had a long on and off thing after my marriage ended and it wouldn't surprise me if in 10 years or so we end up getting together. But not now he's an emotional fuckwit. And ex knows nothing about it. So weird all round.......

I'm midlands too 

Lovely news about Xmas @JeSuisPrest.
I have my kids Xmas eve into Xmas day until the early evening when their dad will pick them up so I'm hoping to spend the evening and Boxing Day with him if he can hire/borrow a car as trains won't be running.