Dating thread 174 - where we remind everyone of rule no.13

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@Feelingabitashamed yeah I have no qualms these days about blocking without explanation anyone who seems dodgy. He just sounds confusing, even if he's genuine you don't need it

feeling he was definitely after a shag, good on you for not going along with it. Did you call him out before blocking?

Thanks Beard and Tiger tbh I didn't call him.out, I knew the response would be something along the lines of 'it's cold out and it would be somewhere quiet for us to chat, no funny business planned, I swear!' Etc so didn't bother. Oh well! Next

Just out of interest, has anyone here who has been doing OLD for a while kept track of how many dates they've been on? I was wondering and trying to roughly count up, kind of.wish I had kept a little diary of it now!

Or of the dates they've been on, should I say, not really the total number. More that it would be interesting to reflect as you go!

@Feelingabitashamed I think blocking him was the right call. He sounds unpleasant.

I think in the past year I've been on 15 dates maybe? I wish I'd kept a diary of it all too tbh

The thing i usually say to cut off speaking to someone or meeting them is ‘we are obviously looking for different things’. It’s vague but doesn’t put them down . Unless they are awful then I’d block 😂

That's a good one to use, Jane, thanks

@Feelingabitashamed 15 for me - MrM was my 16th which just so happens to be my lucky number!

I think if someone said that to me I’d be okay with it as well. I’ve only done 2 dates and another 2 lined up 😂 this could take a while. The main 2 I’m chatting to and going to meet I’ve got into a habit with of saying I can’t message for x amount of time or until tomorrow as I’m busy or out etc. They’ll also say the same to me and that makes me feel better as otherwise I get hung up on checking messages 😂

Hi, on the subject of blocking, can I ask: What type of information can the irons access about you when they have your phone number (for moving to WhatsApp)? I‘ve found I sometimes get blocked at this point and am wondering why. Tia

You can put it in Facebook if your number is on your fb. I’ve also had people come up on fb as suggested friends once I had numbers. Or it might just be a coincidence

14 first dates since March last year. I’ve kept a rather tragic little tally, noting whether I snogged them or went on to DTD with them on subsequent dates. Only 3 didn’t get a snog, I can still feel the physical repulsion with each of those!

Thanks Jane. My FB is locked down to the max but they might get my full name that way and so find me on LinkedIn etc. How do I check whether my number is in fb and of so remove it?

I think that's a great idea Tiger, I've probably had about 40 dates or so over 2 years (dated intensively for a while which wasn't conducive to finding the right one it seems!) I am terrible with names unfortunately and to be honest have forgotten a lot if details and it would be really interesting to look back. Aw Kermit that is great news!! You'll definitely have to keep 16 in your lottery numbers!

Erm I think it’s on your info page, that’s the only thing I can think x

@TigerDater what your shortest and longest (and usual) length of time talking to someone before meeting up ?

Kermit that's so lovely - there's lots of room on the smitten bench - plus cushions, fairy lights and candles (I'm making myself at home because I've been here a while 😂). You sound awesome, too, you deserve your Mr M.

I do like to think of you all on the smitten bench. @JeSuisPrest and @Ant330 with you. Can't think who else....

I've finally met someone who actually I'm interested in. I'm delighted, I thought I was so jaded it would never happen. He's Turkish and perhaps has a beard. And is about 12 years younger. But he's educated and we have a shared hobby. Well my only hobby. And he lives up the road. He says in his profile he's looking for casual dating but not hook ups. When I asked what that means he said he doesn't want to get married. So I guess that's ok....

@unambiguousbeard. He sounds great and I don’t pay much attention to the looking for section. Have you met or arranged to meet

Ooo jane thank you, I love to interrogate my data! Shortest time is 6 hours to meet, longest is just under a week. Hence my mantra ‘one week to meet’.

Actually shortest was 45 minutes but that was a mad escapade, not recommended at all!

I met someone in under 45 mins once @TigerDater He turned into my FB. I'd still have him if I hadn't got involved with a useless man and he was lush.

Longest was mr U. We matched in jan but I just took the piss out of him because it seemed so ridiculous. Then I got banned from tinder for using different email addresses and started dating one of my boozy beer gutted brits. Went on again end feb we matched again and met after two weeks or so. I wasn't very interested initially but I find that's often the way.

Yes @Jane1978xx meeting Tuesday which is when I'm next childfree. He's keen to meet sooner but I can't really. I've turned my tinder off in the meantime.

Oooh good luck unambiguous with your Mr Ambiguous (is it a beard? is it a shadow? 😂😂) Beard on Tuesday 😂 You definitely have a type!

@TigerDater. Thank you 😂 I just wondered. My first old days took 2 months and that went badly after. I’m meeting a new one on wed which I think is a week but my first child free day and another it might be a few weeks due to crazy work hours. But I defo won’t leave it months again that was ridiculous!

@unambiguousbeard. That’s not too long to wait and hopefully it’s good in person x