Dating thread 174 - where we remind everyone of rule no.13

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Years ago my (imaginary) William was a Johnny. 😂

I agree that Bob's are too old. Bob is DS2's favourite name. Actually he thought it was a joke name and no one would ever be called Bob really up until he was about 9. He is still shocked there are real Bobs out there. I'm not so keen on Rabs either. Rab wears a tracksuit as normal clothing and a stupid cap.

@MoreNiceCereal I don't think that's a problem. OLD is full of multi dating and I don't imagine either you or MrG thought it was going to be what it's become at the start. Definitely don't beat yourself up about it.

Foot fetishes, seems to be loads of that around. Had several dates with guys who like feet. I can cope with it but odd to me.

For some reason when I was dating I attracted these guys like flies to honey. I had no idea there were so many. I have rather nice feet but it's not like I was posting pictures of them.

Blimey this thread moves fast!.

My ex had a foot fetish. I thought it was weird. And didn't enjoy it. Eurgh.

Thanks for the reality check. I definitely didn't plan or expect this with Mr G at the start. I won't bring it up with him again, and just enjoy the moment.

My ex's GF has the same name as Dd2. I couldn't swipe on someone with the same name as my child.

@Sunshineandflipflops I've clearly been on here too bloody long.

Both A names have been disastrous for me!!

I think people with fetishes (is that the word) are very open with them. There’s a few men on Pof with pics of their dungeons and whip collections or ones with pics with their wife who wants in on a 3some. Neither are my thing but it’s good people are upfront 😂

@jane yes I would rather know early on!

Mr Straight has completely bypassed the one comment ( all day) I made about me, the focus is just on him and his problems....

@bangheadhere40 - know your worth? You deserve someone who pays attention to you and thinks about you.

Sounds like my entire 9 month relationship with Mr U @bangheadhere40

Don't go there, it won't get any better.

Are all that's left the dregs? Maybe I'm the female dregs. Oh crap.

So why i was hanging about for mr ‘I’m on dating sites but only want to talk to people forever’ I do not know ! One day back on Pof I’ve been asked for a drink by someone v local who seems normal 😂, found a guy I was chatting to in the summer who then disappeared (I suspect he met someone and he is back) but he’s nice and funny, and I’ve just had a French chef Match and email me. So game on

I will try, it's just bits and bobs to me....the technical term I believe is breadcrumbing. He seems genuinely depressed though :-(

@unambiguousbeard I'm sure you are the cream of the crop!

Maybe Rob, Tom, William ( certain Pauls) are on a thread out there too....just waiting for their bangheads, beards, weepings, cereals ad flip flops) and anyone I have missed sorry.

@Jane1978xx sounds promising...

I would go with the French chef just for the food tbf, but then I do like my food.

I like my food as well 😂. He’s not v local thou and I’m lazy 😂. There will be no putting of the eggs into on basket this time.

Been extremely busy with work this week so not been on/caught up with thread for a few days. I have a dilemma...
My Flowers, who I really liked on date1/2 turned out to vape (not into it and said I don’t want to date smokers on my profile) and chew gum.
On date 2 we planned a weekend away (what was I thinking). This weekend.
I’m dreading it. Have major cold feet and just feel wrong about it. We’d booked a double originally but I felt a bit too soon and booked a separate room which made me feel a little better. He did a few things which have put me under pressure and I’ve agreed to stuff then later regretted it.

Do I go since I’ve shelled out or should I pull out now?

Don't do anything that you're feeling pressured into and not 100% comfortable with. Only you know if it's nerves or your Spidey senses telling you to run for the hills...

I already feel smothered so I think I’ll pull out. Thanks uncorredted x

Oh wow @KhaleesiTargaryen definitely agree don't do it if you don't feel comfortable. Would be very awkward if you weren't 100% up for it.

I'm swiping on tinder/bumble and there's no one that really appeals. Nightmare. I want to meet someone who will take my mind off the FWB.

Sick of all the 'daddy to a princess' and 'my kids are no 1 so if you don't like it swipe left' crap in bios. Does it really need justifying? 'My kids are my world blablabla' yawn. Can't abide photos with kids in either. What's the bet they are half arsed Disney dads anyway.

Thanks Time You’re absolutely right. There were lots of little things that were increasingly making me want to retreat. Lots of future plans suggestions that felt more like tethers. He wanted me to meet his family last weekend (after 1 week), it felt like I was being slotted in without much thought. I mean he hardly knows me so it can’t be because I’m so special!

I agree about those types of bio. They make me cringe. One I came across was a guy whose whole bio was about how he’d given up his job and his life to be a single dad, and dedicated his whole life to raising the child because the wife left. Then said he deserved some happiness now.

Do women do this on their profiles, I wonder?

You shouldn’t feel uncomfortable or under pressure even if you like and fancy someone

Not to mention the irritating chewing gum @KhaleesiTargaryen

If you actually liked him he could blow huge hubba bubba bubbles over your pint and you wouldn't care...

I've been having a sneaky swipe. It's grim. I might set up on bumble later for a drool over the Phils. 🤮

MrTall was a Rob so will go against the bloody grain that Rob's are nice! MrM has one of the names mentioned and he's lovely! I wonder if there's a thread in the male version saying stay away from Sharon's they're trouble!

@Khalees, don't do anything you don't look forward to, bin it off. You could get drawn into it even further.

MrN doesn't have any of the names mentioned so far, bit I still have some reservations. I know no one is going to be perfect, but I feel a bit hesitant. I tbi k it's just that he's definitely not LTR material, but that's not what I'm after. At some point I'm going to have to check that he's also on the same page about being FWB, or just casually dating. I don't really know when/how to have that conversation.