Dating thread 174 - where we remind everyone of rule no.13

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@AspieDating why should you feel guilty for saying no to taking on your ex's weekend? It's his weekend, it's his responsibility, don't make it yours.

Perfect man ok.
He is called Tom.
He’s got 2 late teen/young adult children and slightly older than me. He’s kind and polite, he’s got a stable job that he enjoys in finance or IT. He has been divorced a few years after just drifting apart from his ex wife and all is amicable. He has a small but nice house which he takes care of and sees his kids regularly and has a great relationship with them. He had a dog and loves country walks and watching comedy films on a Sunday, playing board games and cooking. He’s not very good at DIY like me, but gives everything a go with good humour and patience. He wants to keep his own place until his kids leave home and so do I. We have a lovely RS and don’t force the kids to blend, when they are all in their 20’s we sell up and move to Norfolk with our dogs
😂

William, Tom & Rob are out there for us ladies! No idea where....I would take either of the 3 actually!

The issue is avoiding Daves but they are hard to spot. They come across as potential Toms/Williams/Robs
The reason I had a reserved feeling about Mr Local is that he is a low level Dave

Dave's appear quite normal, but then they use you for their own emotional needs, without really caring about yours, quite self centred at heart.

It's always about bloody Dave!

Rob would be very good at communicating, and would discuss things with me if he was having issues - not just go off into his cave.

He is also self aware, and ensures he is isn't over bearing me with his issues. He is lovely is Rob!

@Menora what makes you think that about Mr Local?

Yes!
I can’t recall the number of times I had to sit with Daves friends on nights out and how many times I’ve had to get up with Daves kids on my child free weekends. Then the one time you need Dave for something he isn’t there, or has an excuse, but he will try to placate you with his average penis skills. Always having a bit of a bad day, all the banter you saw to being disappears into the universe

Mr Local - kids sleeping on air beds, has had multiple jobs (and problems in them), likes to talk about things he likes and is happy when you like them too but still just wants to talk about why he likes it

If I’m going to meet a single dad please, just please have curtains on the windows, beds - and they don’t just play on Xbox all weekend

😂 Laughing at the discussion about "Dave".
I've had nothing but problems with all the blokes I've met called Dave.
I actively avoid them now, which is limiting the pool somewhat.

@echo, don't rule out David's though - I had an amazing David once!

Just these damn Daves.

Andrews are mixed, average at best, although some ladies appear to be happy with them.

Correction - I don't think you can judge an Andrew, it's really mixable!

Just remembered a friend who has an Andrew who's hot, and nice to boot.

@bangheadhere40 Sorry, I have to disagree. Although I said Dave, they were all actually David! All five of them over the last couple of years.
Between all 5 of them they have lied about being single, sent dick pics, ghosted me and other twatish behaviour.

Andrew or Adrian - yes please

I'm after a Simon, Rob can be a long term thing but for now a Simon would be nice....ridiculously sexy, older than me and just amazing.

@echo I've never tried an Adrian - but I am open to it going by your smily face!

Can I ask you wonderful ladies' opinions on Marks? are they to be avoided?...I haven't had enough experience in that area with them, it's completely new territory for me.

Oh god, @Menora, give that guy a wide berth! He sounds awful.

@AspieDating, no guilt necessary. You need time for yourself in order to give to your DC. Can't fill from an empty bucket and all that.

Since leaving my ex, my dc have been surprised at the increase in my social life, but I spent years essentially trapped indoors with a boring spouse who not only didn't want to go anywhere, but didn't want me to go anywhere, either. He would sabotage my attempts to go out by getting home from work late or doing a shit job looking after the DC that I felt obligated to stay home. Now I don't have 17 stone dragging me down, and I can hire a sitter, I definitely get out more and enjoy myself. Sometimes it's dating, sometimes it's just a coffee in my own, people watching, sometimes it's catching up on homework, sometimes it's exercise. Whatever. I need time alone, away from DC, and I don't have someone actively preventing that anymore! My dc don't have contact with their father at this time, so it's doubly important I get out. I'm sure he will do his best to sabotage my nights out when visitation is arranged properly. He's an arse.

I'm after a Simon, Rob can be a long term thing but for now a Simon would be nice....ridiculously sexy, older than me and just amazing.

Sounds about right!

Disclaimer, I’m not really called Simon, it’s a boring injoke.

No my ex was an Adrian, I would not recommend

So far on Pof. 14 messages from men who look like Phil Mitchell and wank in their mums basement all day. The joys

I'd avoid Marks like the plague. Emotionally abusive narcissist who have no empathy or willingness to change.

I wouldn't mind a Simon right now 😉

Just thinking over my last 2 years and I'd now avoid them all. Pauls, Daves, Robs, Andrews, Toms, Mikes and Marks, all to be avoided. French/Spanish/Italian names also (don't want to put them up as they'll out me!) I've had some luck with names starting with J - Jack, Joe, James all decent.

But my dream man has a Gaelic name. Haven't decided which yet as so many of them are lovely. I don't mind where he's from or what accent he has but he drinks and swears like a trooper when out, is incredibly respectful and thoughtful when in, is madly affectionate, dreamy to look at, playful and energetic, loves being outdoors, is an early riser and brings me tea in bed, my kids adore him and he gets on really well with my sis and bil.

I really don't think I am asking too much, am I?

I second the Pauls - don't even go there!

@uncorect, thanks, has confirmed my thinking of Marks.