Dating thread 174 - where we remind everyone of rule no.13

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I am sat in a cafe trying to mentally create myself a William. All the traits I come up with for him belong to mr Unsuitable. Ffs. When will I move on.

I'm lurking quietly, not much to say on here or IRL. Very low. Tinder turned off but not deleted. Supposed to be meeting mr poetry this evening but not heard from him so hoping it's off as I might just cry on him.

@shitwithsugaron so glad mr B stepped up. Sometimes I think we don't give them enough room to demonstrate they're thinking of us.

@bangheadhere40 delete number. There must be plenty of other men closer. ESP as you haven't met him. 2 hours is way too far. I am exchanging the odd admiring message with a bloke in the Lakes and I'm in London though so I can talk... oh perhaps he can be my William.

@bangheadhere40 I'm about an hour and a half away from my partner. It works because we both want it to. Sorry but it doesn't seem that he is willing so for your own sake I would say goodbye. For it to work both have to be willing to do it. It can be tough at times but we work through it together.

@unambiguous where in the lakes? That is where I am based.

Actually I would have a LDR with someone. Would that work for you @bangheadhere40 ? With no expectations on either side though. And probably with no exclusivity expected. Depends what you're after really. I don't think I can have a proper relationship at the moment anyway. Kids too young, not even divorced.

I've deleted my WhatsApp chat with mr U (having exported it for future reference if needed) and taken Instagram off my phone so I can't see what he's doing. It feels like I've shut the door on him. It's good. We had a message chat before the weekend when I told him I'm really quite depressed at the moment and he still went on about how shit his life is. When really it isn't.

Sorry for cafe rambling!

@TigerDater how is your FWB now?

@bangheadhere40 I haven't asked! I've just drooled over his large beard, mountain views and camper van.

Oh god I had a very very weird thing with a nightmare guy near Rydal when I was visiting last year. If you're near there and want a proper warning pm me!

@unambiguousbeard Rydal isn't far actually, I would be interested to hear.

I would consider a LDR, but as everyone says, he won't so that's that, not that I have asked him directly, as I'm too much of a coward.

Hope you are ok @unambigous xx

@bangheadhere40 what a lovely place to live. I went solo camping and I nearly didn't come home!

Steer clear of tree climbing, wild swimming, hippie types. Which I'm sure you do anyway...

@unambiguousbeard yes I stay away! hence why there is no one around who is suitable.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Mr Ad is an hour away from me so not long distance exactly but it does mean we can't just see each other spontaneously. I like my independence and have two kids so actually, it suits me fine.

Plus, if it all goes tits up, I don't have to bump into him, which is always a bonus!

Hello, new to this thread.

I went on one date, first in years. It seemed to go well, we had lots in common. He said he wanted another date there and then, and then silence.

I'm guessing this is normal? I'm just thinking I can't be bothered with the whole dating malarkey if this is the case. I would have preferred an honest message, rather than ghosting.

@scittlescatter Have you messaged him?

Hey dating gang! How are we all?

Not been here for a while as have zilch to report. Getting matches on Okc and tinder but very few chats and they are all either straight to filth (which I now just block) or really boring.

Thought I had started talking to a good one but turns out he has a foot fetish and I hate feet!

What am I doing wrong? All I want is a tall, gorgeous, intelligent, funny, monogamous man who thinks I’m the bomb and can fit around my kids! Is it too much to ask????

Well done shitwith on the exam!

@scittlescatter, yes, maybe message him?

Mr Straight keeps messaging me throughout the day. It's taking up my time when I'm busy, but whenever I get a message I can't help but reply.

I haven’t been on a date since August ☹️

@Marlboroandmalbec34 I presume he is an elusive William as well.

A foot fetish, he said that in a message?

Yes, I have messaged. I feel like I can't again without coming across as desperate

Hey all hope you are ok. I could deal with a foot fetish I think

I have a date with Mr Local (him of the many children) later, his main points are good looking can hold a non sleazy convo. I’m more nervous about the one tomorrow with Mr Polite though

@scittle....no don't message twice. He doesn't sound a nice guy anyway doing that.

It's so easy to give advice isn't it - but not to take it!

I've just found a new term -Benching...and think I am being benched.
to quote:
Before you have "the talk" with your new partner about whether you are in an exclusive relationship, you are at risk of being "benched." Like the sports term, where players are left on the bench as reserves, you might find yourself being someone's back-up option as they continue to look around. They may come back to you if nobody better comes along, but that doesn't give one high hopes for the relationship, does it?

apart from we haven't met obviously.

I know it’s shit, but we would probably do the same? If I was dating 2 people and had a preference out of the 2 for a match after some dates, I may well need a week or so to want to see what is happening with them before binning off no 2, unless I know no 2 is a complete no go

If you haven’t met at all I would say it’s a back up situation all round

My feet are awful 😂😂.