for my reaction?

[whatdoidooo]

DP and I had a friend over yesterday for a visit. DP is the type to give his opinion or view on a lot of things, which is fine, but he does it a lot when he's not asked.

Friend was talking about spirits, haunted houses etc. I love that sort of stuff so was listening as she told us about a woman who lives near her and has spirits in her house. Said woman was speaking about it on a radio station and the producers paid for Paranormal Investigators (idk if that's what you call them?) to go to her house and investigate. They confirmed she did indeed have spirits. Whatever, friend told us because she lives near this woman.

She hadn't even finished the story when DP starts his rant. "those people aren't qualified, just money grabbers. all they do is confirm that you have spirits. i hate naive people. My issue is they're not qualified blah blah blah, she needs to see a clairvoyant...' like he has to have an issue with everything. this rant went on for 5 minutes and i was just sitting there like an absolute dick. mortified that he wouldn't shut up and let her finish the story properly, and the fact that he went on and on. she never did finish it. friend (knows us both well) said that he was being negative, which he denied. the other day, i pointed out to him that he was being negative about another matter but he's like "no, i'm not but...".

i walked out after his rant because my head was melted from it. he followed me out and asked if i was ok and that he was jut giving his opinion. i told him it seemed like he loves the sound of his own voice. i said this to him away from friend, but now i'm disrespectful, hurtful and out of order.

i'm just tired of it. he is 41 years old and still acting this way. i've told him i can't do this anymore as it's such a one sided relationship and i'm sick of it. we have two DS together and the oldest started preschool at 9.30 this morning. I don't drive (can't afford to learn) so DP is the only one who can take him in. He told me this morning, at 8.50am, that he wasn't taking him in as it's DP's birthday today and it's HIS day. he told me to arrange a lift for DS so i did. Friend was on her way to pick me and DS up (who was nearly late) and DP told me that he'd take DS in.

so he made me arrange a lift, then cancel it when friend was nearly here. i can't be arsed with his games.

Could you pretend to be sorting out 'old clothes' for the charity shop but really be packing to leave? Put them in bin bags and throw in the back of a closet.

If nothing else, pretend you are straightening out drawers and put the clothes you want to take together in the back of one drawer. Then when time to leave comes you just empty that drawer into a suitcase (or plastic bag).

Also, find and hide important documents or get them out of the house if it won't be noticed. If you can't hide or remove them without him becoming suspicious, at least know where they are so you can grab them quickly; birth certificates, bank papers, benefits papers.

When we moved my friend away from her abusive husband, my DH got him out of town for the weekend on a camping trip. Is there anyone you know who could suggest something like that? Or maybe a sporting event or concert/festival that will take most of the day? Would it be 'weird' if your brother did? They leave, your dad rolls in with a rented van/borrowed larger car 15 minutes later and BOOM, you're gone.

Does he ever leave the house for a couple of hours at a time? Pub? Mate's house for football? Or - God forbid - job centre? Or you could just take a few bits out at a time in the bottom of the pram & leave at your friend's house.

Please leave. He doesn't want to be a husband or a dad so.. you deserve better

My issue is they're not qualified blah blah blah, she needs to see a clarvoyant

Yes, that would be so much better seeing as how clairvoyants operate in such a tightly regulated industry 😂

How did things go today OP? Did you manage to speak to your mum?

He sounds horrid OP. You lease leave him.

You poor woman.
Such a hard life for one so young.

Your life can only get better.
Tell your Mum and leave.
Perhaps if your father came to the house with your brother, you could fill his car with additional things that you will need.
💐

Hope you're doing okay, op.