for my reaction?

[whatdoidooo]

DP and I had a friend over yesterday for a visit. DP is the type to give his opinion or view on a lot of things, which is fine, but he does it a lot when he's not asked.

Friend was talking about spirits, haunted houses etc. I love that sort of stuff so was listening as she told us about a woman who lives near her and has spirits in her house. Said woman was speaking about it on a radio station and the producers paid for Paranormal Investigators (idk if that's what you call them?) to go to her house and investigate. They confirmed she did indeed have spirits. Whatever, friend told us because she lives near this woman.

She hadn't even finished the story when DP starts his rant. "those people aren't qualified, just money grabbers. all they do is confirm that you have spirits. i hate naive people. My issue is they're not qualified blah blah blah, she needs to see a clairvoyant...' like he has to have an issue with everything. this rant went on for 5 minutes and i was just sitting there like an absolute dick. mortified that he wouldn't shut up and let her finish the story properly, and the fact that he went on and on. she never did finish it. friend (knows us both well) said that he was being negative, which he denied. the other day, i pointed out to him that he was being negative about another matter but he's like "no, i'm not but...".

i walked out after his rant because my head was melted from it. he followed me out and asked if i was ok and that he was jut giving his opinion. i told him it seemed like he loves the sound of his own voice. i said this to him away from friend, but now i'm disrespectful, hurtful and out of order.

i'm just tired of it. he is 41 years old and still acting this way. i've told him i can't do this anymore as it's such a one sided relationship and i'm sick of it. we have two DS together and the oldest started preschool at 9.30 this morning. I don't drive (can't afford to learn) so DP is the only one who can take him in. He told me this morning, at 8.50am, that he wasn't taking him in as it's DP's birthday today and it's HIS day. he told me to arrange a lift for DS so i did. Friend was on her way to pick me and DS up (who was nearly late) and DP told me that he'd take DS in.

so he made me arrange a lift, then cancel it when friend was nearly here. i can't be arsed with his games.

we're renting

even if he left, i can't drive and my family are 3 hours away. i have one friend

How do you manage to pay bills etc when neither of you are working?

I think you said up thread you rent? So perhaps as a single parent you'd get rent paid closer to your mum?

Either way, you can work it out as you go, but I'd be going!

Cross post x

so much happened yesterday. my dad was arriving between 12 and 1, and i need to do a bit of cleaning and get ready, as well as getting the kids ready. I went upstairs at 9am (9 fucking AM) to get DP to come down and mind the kids while i shower. he said i'd have to wait until he was up, so i put youngest DS in pram with a bottle and oldest DS beside him with some snacks so i could shower.

had a quick shower, and when i came down, DP was here with the kids, youngest DS crying because separation anxiety. DP went straight back upstairs. that's when he started texting me and told me my dad was rude.

he eventually got out of bed and dressed oldest DS. then he wouldn't leave me alone. kept asking for a kiss 🤢 and sex 🤮. he cornered me when i was holding youngest DS, nearly demanding a kiss. i told him to go away and he accused me of being aggressive.

he has lots of naughty pics of me (saved to his cloud etc) and i asked him to get rid of them. he asked why and i told him i don't want him to have them. i feel absolutely stupid and ashamed for ever sending one. i feel sick

@newschapter we're currently on benefits 😞

Go to your parents ffs a house isnt a home with an asshole

Re the photos on the cloud delete them yourself stop asking him to do things like he is a normal human being

@slipperywhensparticus i don't have access to his cloud, just in case you don't know how that works. it's his personal information and a password that's required for it.

He's a waste of space OP and has no respect for you. Don't allow your children to grow up around such a toxic loser.

What a cock.

Why would you want to have sex with a lazy immature man child.

I hope you can find the will inside you to change things, you, and those babies, deserve so much more X

Report your thread and get it moved to the relations board OP.
He's becoming aggressive and now I feel worried for you.

I'd be tempted to get a job. Tell him he's now a SAHD and to do the things expected of him as he's expected you as a SAHM.

Might stick a rocket up his ass

We're just moving this over to relationships for the OP.

@BobTheDuvet they're divorced, so live apart. my dads only got a small car too so he wouldn't fit me, 2 car seats and lots of clothes etc. i'll probably have to see if my brother can get us, i think he has a bigger car

You need to leave sweetheart. I was married to this man. He won't change. I left and needed a non molestation order to keep us safe. He might not get any worse but donuih really want to live like this?

When I was married every social occasion was a nightmare. Exh was a constant embarrassment. I cringe looking back at all my lovely friends put up with

Speak to your mum and brother, lovely. You and your children need to be away from this pathetic specimen. Sort out your benefits, and speak to the housing people about taking your name off the tenancy (but get to your mum's first). You've got a lot working in your favour - not married, not tied to work or a house, kids not in school yet. Dont wait any longer, just go.

I promise you, you will be AMAZED when you realise how easy and fun life is without a horrible man dragging you down.

I'm so glad you've decided to leave, you'll be so much happier for it.

You are absolutely allowed to take your kids, they are your children, it's not kidnapping.

Concentrate on getting to your mum's first then everything else - benefits, name off rented house etc. Don't forget to take all your id documents with you. Birth certificates, passport, etc for you and kids.

And I wouldn't tell him your plans until you've gone or someone is there to pick you up. I'd be worried about his reaction.

just about to take the kids out for a walk so i can call my mum. DP is still in bed. awake i imagine, but still in bed. how do i go about packing some things without him knowing? i'll need some clothes for the kids and me, etc

Work out what you need to take, but don't start packing until your brother is with you. The scumbag is much less likely to start on you when there is someone else there. If he makes any threats towards you, ring the police immediately.

@funnylittlefloozie thank you lovely. xx

Hope you manage to sort something out today. This is only going to get worse.

I agree with waiting to pack until someone is there, but I'd be tempted to put any very important documents in my handbag now, if I could do so without him noticing. Then if things go bad you can just walk out.

Is he in work tomorrow?

OP I have to say I'd wait until he's away out of the house for a good few hours. He's a nasty bastard so if you leave with just a few things he's likely to kick off and destroy your stuff/not let you back in for it.

Can you ask your brother to help you tomorrow or the next day when he is in work, hire a transit and just take EVERYTHING you need that you can get in a van and out in a few hours?

Then you go to your mum's and you stick the lot in the nearest storage unit. Won't cost a lot.

It will pay off in the end if some major items like cot, buggy don't run the risk of having to be bought again.

And he can come home to a half empty cold house!

HE IS SCUM

Please leave.