I need some advice because I feel very confused. I feel as though he is deliberately trying to play mind games.
My partner of several years with whom I have children with has been behaving strangely for the past 6-8 weeks. I had a thread here in relationships, you might recognise some details.
Three times in the space of a fortnight he said he was leaving me and then changed his mind saying he was just confused. He has been more than 6 hours late home on several occasions, explaining it away as overtime.
After the second time I demanded to know what the hell was going on, suspecting there was an OW involved but still somewhat in denial and confused.
He said he wanted to talk to me properly and make it work, during the "talk" he told me that many years before we met an ex had contacted him and disclosed that she had given birth to a baby, stillborn. He told me that he had no idea about the pregnancy and she had hidden it from him, contacting him two years after they broke up to tell him - long after she'd had the baby. He said this ex took him to an unmarked grave and said that's where the baby was buried, and that the baby wasn't named.
Obviously I was devastated for him, but confused why that would leave him doubting our relationship.
However, some things weren't adding up. It's relevant to include that (he said) the ex was a habitual liar and took drugs alot and was dishonest, his words.
The relationship ended, to his knowledge she wasn't pregnant, then she contacts him years later out of the blue to disclose the stillbirth and wanted to meet him to take him to an unmarked grave.
The cynic in me had doubts, as far as the ex was concerned. I will admit there was an air of disbelief. Why would she hide the pregnancy and stillbirth then contact him later on down the line? I questioned whether it was a lie, to be honest.
Me being the soft touch I am, believing that the suppressed grief had surfaced and that he was struggling with his mental health, I urged him to speak to a GP. He assured me he didn't need to and he would be ok. He seemed fine, no obvious signs of mental health problems.
A few weeks pass and we are getting on just fine, then today he's 6+ hours late from work again. He works nights and was supposed to be home at 10am this morning.
I'm texting him all day, worried. Eventually he responds at 3pm saying "for your information I made an appointment to speak to a doctor about feeling depressed, like you advised. I'm taking your advice"
I ask why he didn't tell me, and where has he been all day. He replies avoiding the question but says he has been on his own "just thinking about everything" us, money, the kids.
He's still not home and I'm ashamed to say I'm on the verge of telling him to post his keys and stay away. I can't do this anymore.
He has lied before, I don't trust him. It feels like the stillborn story was given to explain away his strange behaviour before, out of the blue, and the doctors story today is an excuse for being awol again.
His doctor doesn't do same day appointments. He wouldn't even go to the dentist after suffering from terrible toothache for months so I really don't believe it.
He's cheating isn't he? Using mental health and other things to make me second guess myself.