Break up support thread 4

[herbsmokedchicken]

Sigh.!

I really hope it does - I just hate feeling like this. It’s so hard to let them go! When all you want is for them to run to you

Yeah it is horrible! I was thinking this morning about bizarre breaking up is, you create such a connection with someone and then it’s gone, it’s so weird! But we will get past it!

*about how bizarre

Hi all, sorry been gone a while, work has been really busy and am filling up my evenings doing fun things like cinema.

@tinselandknickers congrats on your results! That's amazing news!

@herbsmokedchicken hope you feel more into dating when you're ready.

@Jonsnowsghost so glad you're getting more ups. I still find it great that he checks out your photos, he definitely hasnt forgotten you!

I haven't heard from mine for weeks, its been several months since I saw him. I make no contact. I'm feeling quite happy most of the time and dont think of him much anymore. I would hate to think he had been lying about loving me etc so I think being NC is the best thing. I would hate to see him occasionally, get feelings back and then feel awful because I know he has moved on and doesnt want to be with me. I haven't done much dating but hoping to start it more soon!

Oh that’s good, I’m really pleased things are going well for you!

May I join you for a bit? I think I need a bit of support for a while.
We just broke up at the weekend, after nearly 4 years together. We broke up before, but I didn’t learn my lesson. We were living together, all his stuff was at my place for months afterwards, and that’s how he crept back in.
This time I took everything to one of his cousins who was very understanding and kind, so he has no reason to come back to the house.
But, we are both avid gym goers, it’s a small town and we have the same interests. I will bump into him at least weekly.
I’m not distraught, I’m sad and bewildered and I’m not sure what’s going on, I’m in a bit of a daze.
I spent the last few days deep cleaning my house, I’m going back to work this week.
At the moment I’m just really upset at the thought of being alone. I burst into tears last night because I served one plate and ate alone. I have a teenager, so it’s not lonely in that sense.
Oh, perhaps I should say: I left him. He wasn’t very nice to me and I can’t figure out why, we had built a lovely life together. I’m at that stage where I think there must be something wrong with me.

@PuffinSock I dont even post that many stories or normal posts anymore, they're very spaced out time wise, yet he still looks 🙄

Welcome @seasidepebbles sorry you have found yourself here. Feel free to vent and moan, we will listen :)

Oh @SeaSidePebbles I’m sorry you’ve had to join us! But well done for leaving him, if he wasn’t nice to you then you deserve better!

Shopping trip tomorrow with my mum and sister which I’m looking forward to but also makes me feel a bit sad coz we went this time last year as well, and obviously I was with A at the time so I went round primark getting bits for him, boring stuff like socks but it made me feel so good having a boyfriend I could buy bits for, and this year it’s back to not having a boyfriend to buy stuff for. It’s a silly little thing I know but I’d never had a boyfriend to buy stuff for, it was lovely. Obviously will shake it off and focus on shopping tomorrow!

Oh and I saw an article about royal variety and decided to read it to see who was hosting as I didn’t know but I knew...I knew before I even opened it, it would be Romesh Ragananthan. I’m going to give it a go and see if I can watch it tho cos I like him and I like royal variety so it’s about time I shake it off and start watching him again. I know he will be reading this and will be pleased

Always spell his last name wrong! Sorry Romesh.

Hi ladies. I hope you're all doing okay.
When you're feeling crappy YouTube 'Alan Robarge stop trying to get your ex back' he's got loads of videos, but this one is empowering xxx

Herb I know what you mean about Christmas! I too was looking forward to buying him gifts, I was single last year for Christmas so was so excited this year - had loads of plans etc and now I have nothing.

Yeah it’s horrible, last Christmas was my first time having a partner at Christmas and it was so lovely and now...like it’s fine I’ll have a lovely day but it’s poop also

Same, we had such a nice christmassy time last year but no doubt he'll be doing all that with her this year :(

I'm still struggling after over 3 months. Just been to disneyland with my wife and 2 kids. We had a great time as it was already booked. My wife felt uncomfortable the whole time which breaks my heart but we got on great. I miss and love her so much its unreal. I feel so useless at times knowing this women I've spent 13 years with does not love me anymore yet I love her to bits. She could be coverd in human waste and I'd still find her extremely attractive. I was in a real bad place for 18 months but his it from everyone I put on 4 stone and I lost myself. My wife walked without any notice and it broke me. I decided to get help and by help I actually opened up and talked to people. Since I'm like a new man. I've lost nearly 3 stone and im back! I've got a spring in my step. I've got so much motivation and get go. I've not felt this good since I was 20 (im now 31). But I have a gut wrenching feeling that we could have made it work. Shes totally out and says im like a new man but shes happy with her decision. I'm a great dad and it kills me not seeing them every day. I thought we was together for life. I hope the pain goes one day but I doubt it.

Oh @ASHMEISTER24 that sounds so hard! But it’s great that you’ve been working on yourself, I’m sure if you keep that up things will carry on getting better

This time next week he is officially going to no longer be living here. He will he gone and I will never see him again. It’ll really, truly be over and it’s such a weird thought. I’m hoping maybe it’ll bring me some peace.
But right now I’m just really bloody sad.

I think in the long run, it's good for you that he is moving area. I know that when I heard twat had moved back to canada, i thought this is really it.

I still have my ex on my Facebook and other social media - I haven’t been able to bring my self to delete him but know I should - did everyone else do this??

Yes, block and delete is the way forward

@jonsnowsghost hes definitely curious about how you're doing if hes looking on social media. I'm intrigued as to whether he will make contact at some point. Would you want him to make contact or feel ready to leave him behind?

@herbsmokedchicken yeah it's horrible, all the lovely future stuff together like xmas been dashed

Well having said I was feeling so much better last week, over a month NC and several months since seeing him, he contacted me last week. I was friendly and agreed to meet for a drink. Then we had coffee at mine and a kiss turned into sex...🙈 he stayed over. I've not said much to him since then. On one hand I think it's good, hes shown me his true colours (cheating, I do feel bad to have slept with him he has a gf) on the other hand it's bad as we had a really great time together but I very much doubt he has intention to have a relationship with me let alone be faithful and he is seeing someone else, arghh what have I done!!

So I guess I have to keep reminding myself that no matter how much I like being with him, he is not a faithful man and I need to date and find someone who is.

Oh whoops @PuffinSock!! But at least like you say you’ve seen his true colours, you know he’s a wrong ‘un. It’s bloody hard, four months in and whilst I’m doing a lot better, I’d hoped I’d be even more forward than I am, but all we can do is keep moving forward and trying to stay positive!

@puffinsock i dont know to be honest, I think I'd like to hear from him and see how I feel then. I have a bit of a different mindset now after therapy so who knows!
Saying that, I have noticed he's been doing some odd social media (don't judge me for looking, it's been a boring weekend!) Basically he follows a lot of surfer/skater girls on Instagram and there's two in particular I know he likes but weirdly he follows a similar pattern with liking the posts, for example before we met he would like pretty much every post of both of them (one posts every day, one every few days) then you could see from the date we were together he stopped liking them almost completely, just the odd one here and there, then may/ june the likes started ramping up again (coinciding with the "haven't been happy for a while" I suppose...) he went off with her mid june and the likes almost completely dropped again. Then mid october to now he's back to liking all the photos again!! I'm trying not to read into it too much as I dont know anything but to me it's almost as if there might be trouble in paradise..... to which I say GOOD as I would be glad that it didnt work out, not for me to get back with him, but because then he will learn it doesn't always work when you hurt someone!
I mean I'm probably totally wrong but it amused me for 15 mins or so :)

Oh god @PuffinSock I just read the last bit of your post, OOPS!! what are you going to do?