Break up support thread 4

[herbsmokedchicken]

Sigh.!

We never used to do anything on valentine's but I am going away that weekend now so something to take my mind off it.

I signed up to OLD. What am I even doing?!

I think this year we probably wouldn’t have done anything, we were both just excited cos it was the first one for either of us!

Yes same with A, different situation for us obvs but he was pretty thoughtless for some of it. That’s why I sent the message yesterday knowing he probably wouldn’t reply, I just wanted to remind him that other people’s feelings are affected by what he does.

@dazed I think it’s worth signing up to OLD even if it’s just to help you get believing that it’s over, I have not really used it much but just seeing it there it’s like oh yeah, I’m single now.

Yeah I think I just needed to show myself there is a world away from him. Even if I dont want another relationship I need the ego boost lol

Yeah exactly! And you never know. I did actually meet someone, we had a couple of dates and then he went back to where he lives but he’s supposed to be back next month so might see him again. Had a lot of conflicting feelings about it tbh but good to try and move on.

Quite sad today. This fb thing has def knocked me back a bit. But it’s fine, I’ll get there in the end. But ugh. Sucks butt.

Just finding it really weird to think this time last year we were so in love!

Joining you in feeling sad today, never mind, we'll be ok :(

We will! I mean when I think about how upset I was over the insta thing, which is definitely not as important to me as FB, I would have been an absolute wreck if this had happened earlier. Makes me wonder if there’s a specific reason why he’s done it, or if he was wanting to do it for a while but waited until more time had passed. Will never know I think! But def shows me how far I’ve come, yeah I’m sad and I’ve had a cry but I’m ok.

I feel meh today. I'm taking to my mortgage advisor next week so work out if I can afford the house. Its making it seem very final and I'm gonna need to speak to him but will that close the door forever and I dont want to do that.

Ah that sucks, we didn’t have any joint finances or anything so can only imagine how you feel but must be horrible - the finality of it as well, like you say.

Hi all. I keep opening this post and then deciding not to join
But I have to. I'm struggling so so much. I might have been on an earlier one, but we got back together. And then broke up again. :(

So brief history,
I was a single mum for 7 years, had a few short term things but nothing significant. Until I met a special someone. We were together for almost 2years and then he broke up with me out of the blue because he didnt want a family. We were apart for 6 weeks and then he came back because he missed me so much. Then in November he more or less ghosted me for 5 days. I knew he wasnt happy but he promised it wasnt me/our relationship that was the issue. I know he hates his job and didnt know what to do with his life. Well he finally replied to my messages to tell me it was over between us. His reason? He "cant stand" my DC. Hes told me since then that he never stopped loving me. I've seen him once and I could see how much he loves me. But it will never work because my DC come first. But I'm so hurt. And so broken. And driving myself mad. Everytime I see a thread on MN about a new relationship I read it trying to work out if its him that's the new partner. I dont want him to date anyone with children because if he cant stand mine theres no reason he will like anyone elses. And I don't want him to date anyone else because I love him. :( pathetic I know.

Hmmm. That wasnt so short after all.

Oh that’s awful! Must be so hard. But of course like you say, your child comes first. I’ve done the MN thing! I think the odds of any thread other than mine is about zero but I still click on them sometimes 🙄

Friday...I’ve gotten used to not going back to his on Fridays mostly but days like today where my routine is different, it gets hard again. Going out for drinks after work and hard to know I’m going back home alone, to an empty house (dm also out) instead of getting picked up by him and going to his. I still really miss the twat. And I do think he’s a little bit of a twat now, well not purposely a twat, just thoughtfulness and immature.

*thoughtless

Feeling ploppy today.

@herbsmokedchicken - hugs.

I am going through waves of feeling shit but mostly trying to just get on with life. I am trying to keep busy but more often than not my thoughts drift towards him. Which I hate.

I’m hormonal again which does not help. Yeah I am trying to get on and not dwell but I still think about him soooo much, it’s frustrating!

I'm thinking going on a date might help me. I dont want another relationship - it's been a month, too soon! But I feel like I need to know there is more to life.

Yeah I have been on a couple of dates (with the same guy both times) and it was a mixed bag, like I had a good time and then came home and broke down because I didn’t want to be out having a good time with someone else. But it can be a good ego boost!

Yeah I'm not sure of it will make me feel worse or not! I want to happy on my own but I just like companionship too.

Yeah it’s hard to know how you will feel! This guy is supposed to be coming back next month and part of me is looking forward to it and part of me isn’t - it’s like admitting that my last relationship is over, which after six months is something I still struggle to accept sometimes. But don’t push yourself, I didn’t go on this date until about four months after! But can be worth going on the apps just to get believing that it’s over. Just a horrible situation tho! It’s crazy how much I still miss him.

HES GETTING MARRIED

FUCK

I fucking knew it was going to be sometbing like this. Right from the start. Oh my god

Typing out lots of messages I won’t send. I won’t get answers, will probably get blocked and also it is not fair on his wife. But my head is spinning. When I asked him in sept if he was getting married, was that a lie? Was that the real reason he broke up with me? Or was it planned later?

I don’t even know I feel. I’ve been lied to I’m just not sure when.

God I can’t believe this. He’s literally never been with anyone before me. Was I just his practice run?