Break up support thread 4

[herbsmokedchicken]

Sigh.!

I'm trying to tell myself tough love. If he missed me he would be in contact.

I'm having a hard time at work and I keep wanting to burst into tears. Nothing is going right for me this year!

2020 has only just begun there’s lots of time for things to turn around! I know how you’re feeling tho it’s so horrible.

It’s so hard to accept, like people break up all the time but how did it happen to me?

Today would have been "officially" 2 years :( feeling a bit sad. I know my ex vas no feelings for me, is likely to never even think about me let alone miss me so I'm trying not to think about him too much but it is hard, especially today. Urgh.

I'm so sorry.its such a crappy place to be in.

I just caved and messaged him. I couldn't help myself. It's like I'm addicted.

Ohhh @Jonsnowsghost, that sucks, sending you love (so helpful!) such a horrible feeling. I wish I could stop thinking about A but it’s still so constant! Maybe I should get out there and find someone to take my mind off it but I don’t really want to.

@dazed what did you say?

This time last year we had just booked our holiday and I was so excited and set up a countdown on my phone. I never would have imagined that a year later wed be over!

I just asked how things were. No response yet. I don't know if I expect one.

I keep thinking I should find someone to take my mind of him but I just think, but it won't be him! And then I feel like I wouldn't be giving them 100% as I'm definitely still not over my ex, which sucks. I'm trying but it's hard.
If you'd told me this time last year we wouldn't make it to 2 years I would've thought you were crazy, sad how things turn out completely unexpectedly. Especially as we had plans for the other half of the year that obviously didn't happen. I always played by the MN rule of "don't book anything further in advance of how long you've been together for" obviously that didn't work out either!

Yeah I am the same, they won’t be him and I wouldn’t be giving them 100% of me. I hate it. This is such a shit situation and I hate that it’s still such a huge part of my life, I want to get over it already!

I too have been toying with idea of just needing an ego boost. To make me see its not because I'm unattractive or a terrible person.

He replied saying he was lonely... what do I make of that?

I’m not even going to begin trying to work out what that means or what you should say, I don’t have any idea! But he only has himself to blame if he’s lonely!

Like, the door is open, I want you home but I'm gonna assume he doesn't want that or hed have initiated something. So not getting my hopes up.

Yeah it’s difficult!

Sigh. At least I'm out with a friend tonight and tomorrow to try keep my mind occupied!

Yeah hopefully that will help!

He didn't respond?! Why respond and ask me how I'm doing ?

What did you say back?

I’m tired! Took me ages to get to sleep coz just could not stop thinking, kept having flashbacks to when we were happy. So annoying! Had odd dreams and he popped up in a couple but we were split in them which is interesting as usually we are either still together or we start to get back together. Maybe another stage of healing is about to begin!

He said he was lonely so I said I was too and how work was stressful he finally responded to say he was finding it hard to care about work. Then a little bit of general chat and then he stopped replying.

I feel happier having some form of contact with him. I feel like suggesting to meet up tomorrow but I don't know if it's a good idea or not. I don't want to be rejected.

But if he's lonely and down, just bloody come back!

oh no I completely agree, I just want him back and don't see why he doesn't want it. I'm not getting my hopes up at all, but feel like we should meet up and discuss things.

I keep doing well. Feeling positive but every morning I just want him there. I want to talk to him and see how he is and what he is up to. I just know we can get this back.

Hello. Just checking in. Missed you lot and thanks ever so much for being here when I needed you. It has been 5 months now, and I am slowly healing. Had a bit of a lapse in that I have succumbed to temptation today and been looking at SM but nothing sinister. What did I see in him?
That's not to say I don't miss the 'him' I thought he was.

Hope the new year brings us happiness.

Glad to hear you are healing. I'm having a bit of a bad day, not upset just feeling really low. Think it's just the coming to terms with the knowledge that its 6 months, they're still together, he's not suddenly going to change his mind and come back :(. I miss him terribly today but I know I have to get through it and build my life again without him. I am doing much much better but now and again I get like this (and then post on here about it!)
I also had a lapse and looked to see if he'd deleted the rest of the photos he'd tagged me in on Instagram (on my profile so didnt have to snoop on his) and he has deleted some more but there's a couple still up. Not going to look again as I know these will eventually go too!
Ah sad times. I wish it was this time last year when we were preparing for our Norway holiday but we can only move forward, boo.

So my ex came round last night, we hung out like we were all normal and it was lovely. He did say getting back together wasn't an option for him right now, and I am understanding that and respecting his wishes. He's not really happy right now, he's realised he can't really afford to move out his mum's house, I think he might appreciate how much I paid for now!

Visit was cut short a little because I closed off from him a bit because it's so hard for it to be so easy and normal. I think he though he was going to get some action but I resisted, (was tempted but it would make things worse)

Personally, I feel a lot better having seen him. I'm going to keep the door open for him for now, but I'm going to work on me, and if it's meant to be it will be, and if not I will be making the steps to move on.

@Dazedandconfused10 sounds like you're making good progress, glad to see you're focussing on you and not the potential of 'us'. It's a healthier mindset I think we're all coming to appreciate 😊

My ex is still at mummy's and (even though he says he's going to get his own place) I expect he'll be there for a very long time. He has no prospects at all and I'm surprised at myself for allowing him to scrounge off me for 6 years...wtf was I thinking!?