Break up support thread 4

[herbsmokedchicken]

Sigh.!

I deactivated social media when we split so I didn't obsess over that. I've deleted his number so I can't contact him. I can't block him just incase something happens to his family. Let's get through the next 24 hours.

You can do this!

Happy New Year!

I'm exactly like you herb, when I'm due on, I seem to revert back, why is that? I've never had this before.

Happy new year to you too!

Yeah I’ve never had it either before now, I’ve always felt very lucky to not suffer from PMS or anything. Maybe I have always felt slightly lower around then but just didn’t realise because the feeling wasn’t that strong without something to focus on? Easing off now altho I’m still a bit meh.

Happy new year! Thread disappeared off active list but I did something stupid again....
Feeling a bit down so went on facebook messenger tense if he had been online (I know, I know, I haven't done it for ages though!) And I accidently sent him a thumbs up didnt I 🙄🙄 I absolutely will not be doing this any more!
The worst thing is, he replied with a question mark so had to make some excuse up. Kill me now. And back to no more stalking!!!!

It got me thinking though, this person only 6 months ago would speak to me constantly throughout the day if I weren't with them, like every 10 minutes constantly, and now I'm the last person on earth he wants to talk to. That's sad isnt it. But im not dwelling on it.

Ah cringe! I always worry I’ll do this! But hopefully will put you off doing it for a bit lol

Yeah I find it so sad, I used to tell him everything, now we don’t know what each other is doing or anything. I’m so sad because I miss him.

I agree, it goes back to what I said a Christmas (when I saw his photo) hes a stranger to me now. On a positive note, I no longer find him physically attractive, surely that's a plus lol.

Definitely 😅 what an idiot I am. I've got a plaster on my thumb and it doesn't help with accuracy 😅
I do still miss him, I was surprised he even bothered replying (even if it was one character), but I'm not feeling desperate to talk to him like I used to so that's good I suppose. I'm like you herb, I do genuinely miss him, not just the whole couple thing, and it annoys me when people say that to me. You can miss a person! Even if they did treat you like shit 🙄

Hope everyone is doing well today.

I feel positive today. Don't know if it will last but I'm embracing it. I have candles lit (he hated candles) spent the day with my friend and tomorrow I'm gonna go buy a ps4 to replace the one he took and start a game and immerse myself (after cleaning the house) ready to attack going back to work Monday

@Jonsnowsghost what excuse did you give? Good that you’re not desperate to speak to him. I’ve just got a sort of quiet yearning.

@Dazedandconfused10 I’m doing ok, def still missing him a bit more than I have been but hoping will fade now my period seems to be done.

That’s good that you feel positive! Cleaning the house should help, always feels better when everything is in order.

That I was deleting the chat and was having a quick flick through and pressed it by accident.
I think quiet yearning is a good way to describe it!

Argh, woke up this morning to a completely dead phone, which means I need a new one. I'm feeling ok this morning although quite angry about the whole break up, but I need to just let the anger go.

@Jonsnowsghost ah that works cos it’s like hey I was so busy letting you go! When A “spilt water on his phone” and accidentally video called me, if you remember that, I’m pretty sure he actually was deleting our chat so I’m sure he’ll believe you. Have you deleted it, since you were there? I can’t do it

dazed I think anger is good, part of the process. I get really angry, even tho we had a “good” break up (as good as it can be when only one person wanted it!)

Sucks about the phone, mine has been slowly degrading and I’m always afraid I’ll wake up to it dead, happened to me before! But my friend is selling me hers this week. Mines an iPhone and it pisses me off that they purposely don’t build them to last although tbf I use it all day every day, so no wonder really.

Yeah I had deleted it a while ago (also remember I accidentally called him a few weeks ago) but I dont think the call went through as he didn't respond to that. I didn't make it any kind of conversation that could have a follow up or needed a reply or anything, not even a "hope you had a good Christmas" and I think that was really good for me as i would love to have a conversation with him!
I keep thinking that he hates me but actually I dont think he would, why would he? And that sort of helps because I'm the kind of person that doesn't like upsetting people or people being mad at me and it stresses me out and I keep thinking this about him and it stresses me so now I'm like, why would he hate me?! I know I shouldn't care what he thinks but it's part of my recovery to change my ways of thinking!

Oh and I deleted our whatsapp conversation pretty much when we broke up (40,000 messages it said when it was deleting!!) Because I knew I'd just go back and read all the horrible messages again so did it for myself

Ah that’s good, I know I should delete mine but I just haven’t been able to yet! Maybe when I get my new phone. New phone, new me.

I had to buy a whole new phone! Also bought a ps4 to replace the one ex took. So currently installing my games and I will hibernate now forever.

Omg I just want to text or call him. I can't seem to stop thinking about him.

Not gonna lie, I still want to text him and think about him a lot 6 months on BUT it's a lot less than I did and not the desperate feeling of needing to talk to him. It'll get better :)

I just want to know how he is and for him to come to his senses and realise we are good for each other. But deep down I think I know he's not coming back, I just don't want to admit it. What a waste of a marriage.

Yes I agree, I still think about him and miss him and want to talk to him, but the desperation eases off. jonsnow and I have been here since the very first thread and honestly, there’s a noticeable difference between how we were talking then and now, it does get better and it’ll keep getting better. It might go back a bit sometimes but then it’ll get better again! And at least now you’ve got the PS4!

Oh the I agree was to jonsnow, your message hadn’t come up. Yeah I know what you mean, even now I struggle to understand how he could change his mind about us when we were so happy, and I was so desperate for him to change his mind but I know he won’t

I'm going to stay strong. Not message. If something happens he can reach out to me. I've not taken my wedding ring off yet. That seems too final. I will though, when I'm ready.