Break up support thread 4

[herbsmokedchicken]

Sigh.!

Ah enjoy! I'm contemplating going out because I'm going stir crazy at home!

God I miss having sex, I think that is more why I want to see him.

He has said he'll see me tomorrow. I just need to work out what I want to say to him, I really want us back together.

Would it be totally mad of me to run off to Dublin for the weekend? I feel like I need to get away. If he agrees to feed the cats obvs.

I'm gonna sleep on it, ask him (he loves them, he will) and then hopefully jump on a plane. Might as well be sad as in temple bar.

Oo do it! I’d love to have the nerve to do something like that.

Uuuugh I’m shattered. Back to work today but my sleep schedule is fucked up from being off over Christmas so I didn’t get to sleep till about half two. And it was an awful night for thinking about A - as I’ve said previously my period makes things worse so assuming it was that but was horrible. I still think of him multiple times a day but it’s normally in a sort of wistful way and I can distract myself but this was more like how I was a couple of months ago, constantly flashing back to how happy we were and crying. Slept with the light on so I felt less alone. Bah! At least there’s only two days then it’s the weekend again.

I feel for you! I'm supposed to meet ex today but I just don't know if it's a good idea or not.

Yeah today is gonna be hard!

What do you think is the possible outcome? Do you think there’s any chance at all of reconciling or are you just going to end up even more hurt?

I really don't know! I think end up more hurt to be honest.

Yeah I insisted with meeting up with my ex a few days after we split cos I needed to talk it through but I was clear I wouldn’t be asking him back so I knew it was just to talk it through. And so whilst it hurt, it did help. But if I’d gone into it thinking I could change his mind, I’d have been devastated

Clear I wouldn’t be asking him back as in trying to get him to change his mind, I accepted his decision

I think I need to clear the air, I wasn't my best self when he said he was leaving so I just want to apologise for my behaviour and see if that gives me any kind of closure

Yeah clearing the air would be good. When A split up with me I was so upset, obvs, and I didn’t want that to be our last interaction. We actually had a good time the last times we saw each other and it’s a better memory to have of our last time together.

I managed it. I credit I feel better. I still have a tiny bit of hope we can get through this but now is not the time for that. I miss him so much.

So have you seen him then?

I’m glad you feel a bit better. Took aaaaaaages for the little bit of hope to fade for me. I’d start to feel a bit better and then realise it was actually false hope I was feeling and I’d crash back down! Not saying that will happen to you but it did to me and was incredibly frustrating.

We met up for a couple of drinks. He said he doesn't see us together now but he doesn't know how he will feel in a week or a month. I said I wasn't asking for anything from him right now I just still feel blindsided. So I'm using the hope to encourage me to grow and be fine with me as I am. If it works out it does but if not, he's not a bad person, I can't hate him and I can't force him to love me.

I do just wish the loneliness would disappear. My whole family is abroad, and I feel so isolated right now. But I know the feelings will pass.

Yes the loneliness sucks! This time two years ago I hadn’t even met him yet but once we met he became one of the most important people in my life, even before we got together, and I hate not having him in my life.

Has anyone hit you guys with the “you don’t miss him, you miss how he made you feel” bullshit yet?

No, I've been lucky on that front. Our friends are in total shock really, and none of them know what to say, so we are just avoiding the subject really

Plus I do fucking miss him, not how I feel but him.

He's said he's happy to feed the cats if I need to get away, he even offered to get some shopping in for me, but I declined the offer.