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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Break up support thread 4

864 replies

herbsmokedchicken · 04/11/2019 08:51

Sigh.!

OP posts:
Dazedandconfused10 · 31/12/2019 19:31

I feel you. I just want for him to show at my door and say he misses me.

I don't want to online date so I have no idea if I'll ever meet anyone ever.

It's lonely

herbsmokedchicken · 31/12/2019 19:37

It is! And online dating is poop altho there aren’t many other options where I live, pickings are slim. I was single for years before I met A. Ugh! It’s all such a faff finding someone and then you have to hope the twat doesn’t decide to fuck off.

OP posts:
Dazedandconfused10 · 31/12/2019 19:46

But! If the twat fucks off he wasn't the right twat for you.

I don't know if I have any other options but online dating, I dunno, I fear spending too much time on someone else again

herbsmokedchicken · 31/12/2019 20:00

Haha yeah I know, but I’m not quite over him yet unfortunately so I still wish the twat would come back.

Yeah it’s a scary thought, it was my first relationship but I genuinely thought that was it, now I have to find someone, spend all that time and energy and love on them and this time have the fear that they will leave me like he did.

OP posts:
Dazedandconfused10 · 31/12/2019 20:06

I know! I don't want to waste time getting to someone, giving them my all, to end back here fucking heartbroken

herbsmokedchicken · 31/12/2019 20:24

Yup! What a plopper it is. But I’m sure in time we will both feel more up for it. Maybe?

OP posts:
Dazedandconfused10 · 31/12/2019 20:26

I hope so! I really do.

I love my own company, but it's not the same right now. Right now i just want him by my side.

herbsmokedchicken · 31/12/2019 20:32

Yeah I know what you mean! Like if I end up never finding anyone else (which I hope isn’t the case as I’m only 32 but my record hasn’t been great so far!) then like, I’m sure I’ll be fine, but I’d rather find someone! I was single so long and then when I finally found someone, it was as good as I always thought it would be.
The bastard.

OP posts:
Dazedandconfused10 · 31/12/2019 20:48

I'm 32 aswell and I just feel like I want someone but not if I'm gonna be in this situation again. It's so hard.

herbsmokedchicken · 31/12/2019 21:29

Yup know exactly how you feel! For you it’s so new and fresh as well, I remember that. I’m having a low day today but I’ve been coping better with it recently so hoping I perk up again tomorrow! This time last year I was sat on the sofa like I am now but he was here with me. BOOOOOOOOO.

How’s your evening going? I think it’s just us tonight! Hopefully everyone else is having a good time!

OP posts:
Dazedandconfused10 · 31/12/2019 22:03

I'm doing ok, I'm super sad but it would have been my dad's birthday on the first so that's no helping matters.

I have hours when I'm fine but with everything I'm just a mess if I'm honest. I'm so fucking sad right now

herbsmokedchicken · 31/12/2019 22:18

Oh goodness no, that won’t help. How long has that been for you if you don’t mind me asking? Ten years in Feb for me.

Yeah I seriously know how you feel, like as miserable as I am tonight it’s nothing like it was. Just this constant heavy weight of sadness on me. It was like a fog. I remember about a month or so after it happened, my niece made me proper belly laugh but then it almost segued into tears! I held them back cos I was with people but if I’d been alone and just laughing at a film or something, I’d have sobbed. Happened a couple more times after. Emotions are so strange.

OP posts:
Dazedandconfused10 · 31/12/2019 23:08

3 years, but his birthday was the last time I saw him looking well. So it's super hard. I just hate life so much right now.

herbsmokedchicken · 31/12/2019 23:13

Sad it’s such a horrible feeling - you just want to be feeling better already. It happens tho! I’m not my best today but on the whole I’m miles better now.

OP posts:
herbsmokedchicken · 01/01/2020 00:14

Well, happy new year! I know 2019 didn’t pan out the way we were hoping, but fingers crossed for 2020

OP posts:
shitwithsugaron · 01/01/2020 10:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

herbsmokedchicken · 01/01/2020 10:16

Yeah I think it’s worth having a go, if nothing else it might help you get in the mindset of it really being over. I haven’t been looking at mine for ages tho!

OP posts:
shitwithsugaron · 01/01/2020 10:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

keepingtheplantsalive · 01/01/2020 10:43

Happy New Year, I hope everyone is feeling ok today. I went out last night and managed to have a better time than I thought. No Happy New Year message, which I'm not surprised about and for my own wellbeing I'm glad didn't come but it has still made me a bit sad.

Dazedandconfused10 · 01/01/2020 11:00

Happy New Year guys!

herbsmokedchicken · 01/01/2020 12:38

@keepingtheplantsalive yeah I’m the same with happy new year message, a little part of me hoped he would even though I knew he wouldn’t and it’s for the best as it would have sent me spinning but still makes me sad

OP posts:
Dazedandconfused10 · 01/01/2020 13:12

I'm finding it very hard to not text him today. I just want him to hold me. Argh.

herbsmokedchicken · 01/01/2020 14:53

It’s horrible eh! It’s hard to remember how bright and amazing everything seemed this time last year.

OP posts:
Dazedandconfused10 · 01/01/2020 16:13

I failed. I asked him if we could meet up.

I just don't see myself ever being happy without him.

shitwithsugaron · 01/01/2020 16:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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