Break up support thread 4

[herbsmokedchicken]

Sigh.!

I could have written this five months ago! In fact I probably did. Definitely remember waiting for my phone to light up. I promise it gets better but it’s shit getting there unfortunately

I'm 4 months in, and I also promise you it gets better.

I woke up with a stinking rotten cold yesterday, it was new guys christmas work meal, I wasnt invited anyway it was workers only, anyway, he called me before he left to ask if I needed anything and he would drop it off before going to the party, I said I was good, and wished him a nice time. At 9pm, my phone rang it was him, said that he was heading over, got me a chinese, and didnt want to stay at the meal and rather sit with me, and he did just that. I thought it was quite sweet of him.

I took it hour by hour to start with. Until I could count days.

Aww @Mumcomehere how sweet!

@Notcoolmum I’ve finally lost track of the weeks! It took a while, every week I’d be like “15 weeks since our last proper weekend together, 16 weeks since we split” but realised this weekend I’d finally lost track. I know it’s around the early 20s but not exactly how many. So that’s good! I still think of him multiple times a day and I got really weepy on Saturday but honestly this last month I’ve really turned a corner. I reckon it’s coz he’s moved.

Yeah we didn’t eat here either! Didn’t have palpitations but felt sick and had a constant lump in my throat for weeks. It’s surprising how scary it feels, it’s my first break up and I knew such a thing would be sad, I didn’t know it would be scary too. So sorry for you and your DD. Do you have anything nice to focus on, something for just the two of you maybe?

Yeah I figured it wasn’t your first since you have a DD but I don’t think it ever gets easier!

Yours was around the same length of time as mine, obvs dunno what your relationship was like but for me I think it was so hard as it had been quite intense quite fast, our 9 month relationship was prob more how some people are after a couple of years or so, some people are still in the dating stage by 8 or 9 months.

Feeling very lonely and miserable today - was meant to be going on a 3rd date tonight but looks like I’ve been ghosted. I really don’t understand what I’m doing wrong - blokes seem so keen at first and then they just disappear. Quite upset today, making me think of the ex and the plans we had for Christmas 😢

Ah how annoying! I’ve never gotten to date stage and been ghosted but been ghosted a few times by guys that I was having a perfectly lovely chat with and I find it so baffling, like what did I say?!?! Try not to take it personally, they’re obviously a rude asshole. I’d rather someone just said they’d changed their mind.

Yeah I’m feeling a bit blue now, I mean out of all my Christmases on this earth id only spent the one with A, but it was so lovely and I do feel a bit sad. I’ll have a lovely Christmas and I’m genuinely looking forward to it but there’s this little part of me that is still so sad.

It is baffling - I just think have the decency to say don’t be a coward. Just wish I could wake up and it be early jan already 🙄

My exP texted me last night for some help with the big Christmas meal he is hosting this evening. Not that I’m invited (or would go!), but he thought bedtime was a good time to ask for pots and roasting tins. And can he come round now to get them? Errmmm, no, go away, I dumped you, remember? Jeez!

Haha I’m glad you said no!

CBT 😂. I changed his name on my phone to ‘roasting pan’. So now when he pops up, rather than going all ‘oh, what is he saying, has he seen the light’, I go: ‘oh god, what now?’ 😂

Roasting tin, not pan, I’m being dim.

Hahahaha that’s brilliant!

@shitwithsugaron that’s a good idea! I tried it but we just didn’t really have any negatives - sure we would have in time but we didn’t! I can appreciate now just how emotionally immature he still is. I still think if we’d met at a different time it would have worked but then maybe we met at exactly the right time so we could meet the actual right people at the right time, or something. Who knows. Life is weird. How are you feeling today?

Oh that sucks! I used to cry at work too, I haven’t for a while now but it’s horrible

So how is everyone feeling tonight? I’m actually feeling ok, I guess it helps that it’s five months in, if it was only two months or so I think I’d be a wreck. I don’t even really feel sad. A bit wistful, maybe.

I feel similar to you herb, I have had a few moments today when I was thinking back to previous christmases, but other than that I'm feeling ok.

I would like to say to you all, that christmas can be hard and tough for many of us, and for many different reasons, I may never have meet any of you, but that doesnt mean that I wont think about you Christmas day, because I will x

Yes I’m actually pleasantly surprised! I’m still thinking about him soooo much so not over it but yeah feeling ok. At the moment anyway lol, I suppose once it’s over and the guests are gone and I get the usual post Christmas blues, they might be a bit stronger than usual.

And yes will be thinking of the people on this thread, quite a few of the people who have contributed have dropped off now so hoping everyone has been able to find some comfort, however things have worked out.

Well irritatingly I’ve just woken up after a couple of dreams where we got back together 🙄 But I’m sure I’ll shake it off

Merry Christmas all, I know today isn’t quite going to be how we originally planned it but hope everyone has a lovely day xxx

Merry Christmas! In bed with a coffee, about to do a park run in a bit. I saw my ex last night, he wished me merry Christmas, we hugged and that was that. I genuinely don’t miss him, we’re heading towards friends territory.