Break up support thread 4

[herbsmokedchicken]

Sigh.!

@PuffinSock thanks. His coldness has helped as much as it hurts as I can see he's not the person I thought. He has completely switched off all feelings for me now. That's not the actions of a normal functioning human being. Also middle aged with 2 kids and dating. Back to it!!

I dreamt of the twat again last night, do you think im dreaming of him a lot at the moment because I'm trying not to think to much about him in the day?

My mate, who has no qualifications in psychology but has gotten into it recently, so very credible source, reckons that dreaming about them is good - something to do with REM sleep reducing the emotional pain, I don’t know, he didn’t explain it very well. But anyway it might be your brain working through your emotions in your sleep. I dreamed that I met a chap who looked a lot like A (in fact I think he may have been Eshaan Akbar, sure I remember something about going to a comedy gig) and we got together which was just lovely but I remember feeling guilty because I still felt sad about A and wondered if I should tell my new man. This is the second time I’ve dreamt about having romantic feelings for someone other than A. So maybe my brain is saying it’s not quite time yet but soon? Dreams are interesting things! What kind of dreams are they?

Went on tinder for the first time in ages, matched with a guy who has just moved here and is looking for “friends only” which often means something else but going to meet him for coffee anyway. Will see how it goes.

Aww that's great to hear herb, let us know how it goes:)

Awesome news @herbsmokedchicken 👍

So just got on the bus after meeting this guy after work. Nice chap, got on well, not sure anything will happen but was def nice to meet someone new. He’s going away for a few weeks next week but probably back in the new year so will keep in touch.

Good on you for meeting up with him, even if it doesnt go anywhere its always nice to meet new people

That’s great herb! Even if it’s not gonna go anywhere like you said it’s just nice to meet new people!

How did yours go @Apparentlyacatch ?

Herbsmokedchicken it was lovely! I’ve been out twice with him now - had a cheeky kiss both times. He seems great! Just enjoying the company and date nights at the mo! Not thinking too far ahead is key I think xx

Oh nice I’m glad! Yeah def best to just take it moment by moment

It has been very quiet on here the last few days (which is hopefully a good thing), just wondered how you lovely lot were?

Feeling quite sad tbh, just low key missing my ex, I guess with Christmas coming up.
Pleased people are getting out there, I'm not ready at all and I'm focusing on my horse competitions for a bit before even thinking about dating, I am feeling a little lonely though. Not many people are riding at the moment due to the weather and my ex would always come with me so i miss having the company, of just anyone really!

Thank you for asking! I’ve been checking in here for new posts but didn’t feel the need to post anything myself. I’m a bit hit and miss! Def getting there, the most I’ve gone without thinking about A is only an hour BUT those hours are getting more frequent. It’s def starting to change. I’m still sad tho. I had a second date on Friday with this guy and when I was home I freaked out, crying, because I imagined kissing him and part of me wanted to, part of me wanted to never kiss anyone except A. This new guy is now away until Feb tho which I think is good because I don’t want to mess him around but by Feb I’ll hopefully be even further along, maybe even totally over A. Mixed feelings about Christmas, looking forward to it - this will be my 32nd Christmas on this earth and only one of those was spent with A so it’ll just be back to normal but I know I’ll also feel sad remembering how lovely that Christmas was and how I thought it was the first of many.

@Jonsnowsghost I’m sorry you’re feeling a bit sad and lonely, I totally get it, it sucks! Good you’ve got your horses to focus on. I love horses but I’m a bit scared of them up close!

And how are you @Mumcomehere?

It's funny because I've ridden for around 20 years and ex was only around the last year and a half so I should be used to it without him! And same as you with Christmas, I only had one (and a half...we met beginning of dec 2017) so it shouldn't be any different to those before then but I just feel so sad!

Yeah I know what you mean! We weren’t together as long as you and yours so I’m getting more used to him not being around now, but I still think of him at loads of different places - could be places I’ve spent years going to without him and only gone with him once, but it’ll be that time I remember.

I def think we’re getting there tho, even tho you still feel sad I def feel like the tone of your posts is less sad than when we first started

Evening lads and ladies hope you don't mind me popping in again! Ex is still being a twonk regarding DS but I've given up him ever resembling a decent human being again!

In other news you may remember I posted a dilemma post about two guys I was previously (minorly) involved with. Well one of them messaged me out of the blue on Saturday and we've made very vague plans to meet up in January. Will be interesting to see if he still holds a flame for me~

Keep on trucking y'all! You may not be where you want to be yet but you've made so much progress from where you started!!

Hi everyone 👋 been a while since iv been on! Busy with work, kids etc
I suppose it’s good iv been busy, but I don’t feel iv progressed anymore?
Is that normal? I mean I can think about him now without crying etc but I’m starting to feel sooo lonely!
I go on Facebook and see all these huge family’s with loads of people around them supporting them, I have got friends and a bit of family but only a small circle.
Which makes it hard at times, but iv got my 3 children who make me smile everyday!
What’s everyone doing for Xmas and New Year’s Eve?
Really doesn’t feel like Xmas this year! Xx

Yeah I am doing better, much better actually, but I'm still feeling a bit sad and lonely and I do still miss him. @Tiredmum8 I get it, think it's the Christmas period, seeing all the couples around doing fun Christmas stuff....gets you down!
And I can report that he still is liking all the bikini surfer pics...if anything it's getting more frequent 🤷🏻‍♀️ doesn't mean anything really but I'm secretly a little bit pleased that maybe all is not 100%... surely you wouldn't like so many pics like that if you were fully invested (well he didn't when we were together and when they started their relationship anyway.....)

How do you know he’s liking all the bikininini pics, I thought they took that function off?

@TeddyBeans that sucks about your ex but exciting about the new development!

@Tiredmum8 I get what you mean about not professing, I’m progressing more now but I stalled for ages! Not much for Xmas and new year, just me and DM, my sister and her family Altho NYE will just be me and DM - was nice having A to see the year in with last year but we are not that bothered about nye. Although expect I will get a little mopey thinking about how my year started compared to how it ended! You?

I'm not doing to bad thank you, just going through the motions of Christmas, not feeling christmassy at all. I'll be happy for this year to be gone.

What I'm finding really weird, is that since twat has gone back to canada, not one person here has heard a peep from him, he really has gone off radar.

@herbsmokedchicken I knew some of them that he followed, they're quite famous, so just looked on their profiles and I can see his name on the likes. The generic surfing accounts that he has liked a load of random pics of women came up in my explore page, it's a bit of a rabbit hole and I found loads of other accounts that way (let's just say I had a very boring day one weekend!) These are all easy to find now as they pop up a lot on my explore page very often (algorithms...) so I just have a nosy every now and again. It's interesting really!
Like some of these he has followed before we met and he likes all their photos, then it drops then picks up again over the last few months or some picked up when he was apparently not that happy with me...
Honestly I am not reading into it (too much!) But I find human behaviour patterns interesting!

Another account is one we both follow for a city we went to so I can see when he's liked them just scrolling through my instagram, the likes on those posts have increased massively too 👀

I realise this all makes me sound like a stalker but I dont look at any of his profiles or whatsapp or anything, it's the only thing j allow myself to nosey at!