Oh, I see my exP all the bloody time. He just gives me this crushed look and has a very sad face. I feel nothing. He sort of half nods hello with a crumpled face. He also looks terrible. He knows he’s been a complete dk. But he’s not sad about how he behaved towards me, he’s sad for poor himself, dumped, with his entire family, including his kid, really angry at him.
I don’t miss him, I miss how I felt when I was loved and comfortable. I took him back before. Because when I saw or heard from him it was like being punched in the stomach. This time, I’m just mildly irritated. Before, I thought he behaved the way he did because he was damaged and unloved. I said from the word go I’m not there to ‘make him better’, I’m not his counsellor, or his mother, but I would be understanding and supportive if he wants to help himself. Now, a few years later, I realise he uses his poor mental health as an excuse to behave like a dk. And I want no part of it, because it’s dragging me down.
He would be great as a friend, but I can’t be bothered knowing what’s in the rest of the package.
Knowing him, he’s also very angry for the time being because he didn’t dump me first. And because I severed all avenues he might pursue to come back like the last time. He’s really childish like that. So he hovers in places he knows I’ll be, he has just as much right to be there, but makes sure I see him and his sad face.
I’m not angry, we had 3 good years. When it wasn’t shit!