NEW FAB AND GLAM

[Dior]

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Hi all, wow, 2 bumps is exciting - when are you both due??

MLS/Baffy, like the new name! Yes, I agree about not wanting to post when things are so bad, I just feel like I'm saying the same things over and over! Is H in your old place? Or new place with all your stuff? How annoying! Do you think he really isn't seeing the ow? Counselling sounds good, glad you feel it is helping you. I have wondered about that too.

Hi IOHW / Timeforme, wow, what a great post, it's lovely to hear you so happy.

Lily, congrats on the bump! And glad to hear dp said the right things over that email Sounds like things are good!

OOh the cake sounds good Sally, and how nice dd was so good while you were busy, it's great when it works out like that.

Well, I had a big row with h today, after I cancelled all my plans so he could see dd, and then he changed his mind - but he apologised - again - which is a bit of a miracle. Oh - earlier in the week he told me he thinks he's made a massive mistake..... yeah, no shit! Tomorrow he is off on holiday with trollop Still I can't complain as I have just had 10 days in LA and Las Vegas, which was just bliss. Took dd to Disneyland - she is really into the Princesses at the moment, and she just LOVED it. So did I!

Hope everyone's having a nice weekend

Good morning everybody!

Hi Lilybubble! So, he thinks he has made a big mistake? It didn't take him long to realise that did it!

Now is the time for you to smile, laugh and be happy when he is around, really rub his nose in it!

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lily he's got a new flat (in the exact area where we were planning to buy our family home - the one that fell through when he left ) right on the waterfront and minutes walk from a lovely town. One of the best areas around tbh. I dropped ds off there on saturday evening and he was sitting on the balcony having a drink and the sun was setting over the water

That was the life we were supposed to have. It's hard seeing it, especially walking in and seeing all the things we bought together for our old home, all the wedding gifts etc... But like the counsellor said, they're just possessions, they mean nothing in reality. I'd have given the lot away in a second to have my husband back. So I guess if he wants to be constantly surrounded by all those memories then that's up to him. I know when I get my new place I will want a 'fresh' start all round. (He'll be financially contributing towards that though, seeing as he has taken everything, - I'll be making sure of that!!)

I am still missing him so much. Ginnedup thank you for your kind words - I do my very best to stay on top of things and keep things amicable for ds's sake. But it does take every ounce of strength I have. I can't wait for the day when I have someone to share it all with again, someone to just give me a big cuddle and tell me it will all be ok. I seem to do that for everyone else - but never get it back. Lets hope that day does come!

Hey guys!

Things here were getting better until yesterday. If you read my thread ('The next stage of my life WILL be better') you will see why.

morning everyone

tfm nice to " see " you back

baffy- i wish i had the words to make it all better.

lily bubble - hello! they all realise in the end what a twat mistake they have made. do you know what you are going to do? ie forgive and try again or stay away?

sorry rushed morning hope everyone else is ok? x

Dior I just posted. and at the way he continues to be

Hi all, gosh, confused by all the new names people are using. So we've posted together before, Baffy .

Lillyloo, glad to hear things are slowly working out. So you're in London again. Hope your bit isn't as wet and miserable as my bit.

I'm having a frantic day at work & think it'll be like this for some time - espec if an election is called - so if I'm a bit quiet, it's not that I'm not thinking of you all, just that I haven't the time to get on MN.

Hi Tanee! How's your compost bin?

Yes it does get confusing - was tempted to go back to mylittlestar but ds gave me the inspiration for this name so can't bear to change it now!
I get confused myself though!

In fact I'm confused with everything at the moment. Why the hell would a grown woman, with a beautiful child, great job, great friends and family - be pining after a bloke who had treated her like sh*t for months and lied about the most awful horrendous heartbreaking things. What's up with me?!!

because you love him baffy

sorry for butting in girls have been following your thread for ages now, been going through loads in my own relationship and seeing how well you support each other is lovely.

hopefully i will get the strenth to post more at some point but for the time being i just wanted to make myself known.

hi flumpwithlumps

thank you for responding

there's always someone around to listen when you're up to posting some more. sorry to hear you're having a bad time of it too
you'll make some good friends on here I'm sure of it

Welcome to the thread Flump. You will get support here.

Because Baffy, you loved him with your whole being, your heart and your soul. You invested a lot of yourself in your H.

Also because, you are a loving, caring and emotional woman, and I'm so bloody glad that your H and your experience hasn't spoilt that about you.
Don't resent how you feel, embrace it, because one day those feelings are going to be needed for the new, more worthwhile man in your life xx

Thanks TFM

Feeling a bit sorry for myself as my nan had a bit of a go at me at the weekend - said I deserve better and should 'just get over it'. I wish I could! Sometimes I think people just want you to stop being hurt and move on - but I'll have to do it in my own time. Pretending I don't still love him or miss him just gives me too much emotional baggage. Even if people think I'm stupid, I can't help what I feel.

It does feel like grieving in a way. For the loss of the relationship, and the loss of the future we had planned. And H has started to say things like he's feeling really low, can't believe how stupid he's been, loves it when me and ds are with him... all words. Probably all rubbish too. But he said at the weekend that he hated the side of him that the OW brought out and never wants to be that person again. Why couldn't he have realised all of this 6 months ago?!!

Sorry. Just need to get it all out somewhere. My friends and family hate him so much that they just get angry when I say how hard I'm still finding it.

hi baffy, wish i could tell you the answer to that one but it's a question i've got too.

have had 10 days worth of silent/virtual hatred for H. so many times have i composed a text in my head to basically tell him how much i hate him and i even hate him for bringing me to such an awful emotion.

have had 3 texts today regarding money mostly. it seems he has started the new job. it's literally 10 mins from here but it takes him over 2 hours from where he lives now.

suddenly he's interested in when am i moving so he can take over the lease on this place.

self serving tosser.....

but even so, i've had an afternoon when i miss him and want to text him back etc.

am resisting it tho.

ps: welcome flump!

pps: yeah baffy, H says all the same stuff when he's here too. doesn't stop him from dipping out again every time tho eh...

I still find it incredibly hard....and even longer for me found out about OW last June ...chucked him out in Nov when found out she was pregnant so nearly a year formally seperated...even though in my heart I know I will never forgive him for everything and we could never be together as a couple again I find it very hard to let go and move on .....and I am sure people are sick of it and thing I am some kind of moron...but it is hard to let go of a past a future especially as they will always be around because of DC

You are grieving Baffy, that is exactly what you are doing. And you can't get over dh to order. It will happen in time.

Your family don't like to see you hurting, it hurts them to see you in pain, thats why they want you to get over it and move on, so that they feel better.
It all sounds insensitive but they do mean well

You have done amazingly well! You are entitled to feel sorry for yourself every now and then, it's all part of the process. One day, you will get into bed at night and realise that you haven't even given dh or anything to do with him a single thought!

Keep posting, it helps get rid of all the crap! Just like a good laxative!

And who says you have to stop loving a person who has hurt you. I know what your H did was wrong but I am sure he didn't do what he did to intentionally hurt you.
He is still the father of your lovely little boy and you can continue to love him for as long as you like. It doesn't make you stupid at all!!

It's me again

nice words from dh and I'm sure he means them. But be careful! He has probably seen a different side to you recently, more like the woman he used to know before you got bogged down with babies and bills. His loins are stirring!!

Don't you be falling for any nice words. If he wants to win you back he is going to have to work a lot harder than that

hi flumpwithlumps welcome to the thread.

sorry used my last brain cells of the day on diors thread!

Hang in there girls your all doing fantastic x

thank you for being so nice everyone, kind of feel like i am butting in.

baffy tell me to sod off if this is to personall but do you think its possible to forgive and move on after being so hurt by a partner. i dont know your full story but you seem to be going through some of the same things as me.

my own dh never cheated on me but he did some other terrible things that ruined what we had, we have been apart for 7 months now and i think he has managed to get himself sorted out.

he seems keen to get back together and i would love to get back the man that i married but im not sure if it has gone to far.

i dont know how i would ever tell my friends and family that we had got back together and im not sure that they would ever talk to me again.

has anyone else ever been in this situation??

in my heart im really not sure if i want to be with him or if i just want the comfort of being with someone who i know rather than having to think about starting on my own again.

this will sound terrible but i have 1 dd who is nearly 3 and more than anything i want another baby, i often think about getting back together with my husband just so that i can get pregnant, i dont think i would ever do this but my obbsession with having another baby seems to be clouding my judgement these days.

any advice from anyone who has gone through this would be greatly appreciated, i have gone over and over in my head what to do for the best but my head does not seem to be working to well these days.

Not butting in at all. We all had our own threads but found it hard to support each other that way, so we formed a 'group' thread to do it. We are all having problems of various sorts in our marriages and the support has been fab. Anyone is welcome - honestly

evening all, well i've had my 4th text message of the day saying "so you're not going to text then".

honestly! FFS! talk about double standards!

he can go awol for days on end and ignore any promise or agreement to visit and see dd.

i ignore 3 texts informing me he's paid his money in and started his new job and i get hectored for not replying!!

i told him 2 weeks ago he was on his last chance.