Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

NEW FAB AND GLAM

952 replies

Dior · 17/08/2007 13:32

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
TimeForMe · 07/11/2007 14:08

Maybe MIL was worried about her bits becoming mouldy

TimeForMe · 07/11/2007 14:10

I agree Baffy. There is nothing worse and more heartbreaking than seeing the face of a child who has been let down. I lost count of the times my children were sat with their coats on and he didn't turn up

I introduced set days and it worked well from then on. it was less stressful for me too as I had less to complain about

Baffy · 07/11/2007 14:20

Ooh well TFM if it's less for me to complain about then I may have to stick with the flexible arrangement

And I don't think MIL was worried about that... quite the opposite from FIL's accounts! TMI TMI TMI!
I think she was lured by one thing and one thing only.... £££££!

Not that I like to pass comment or judgement on these things you understand!

TimeForMe · 07/11/2007 14:24

Of course! non judgemental is your middle name!

Tanee58 · 07/11/2007 15:08

Hi all, have just spent my lunch break catching up on the thread.

Ernest, I was in Munich on Sunday - great city - but really hard to find a good, cheap restaurant that didn't just do kebabs or sausages ! But if you come back to the UK, what about Crawley? I have a friend with 4 children there, and she has a great social life - and so do her dcs.

As for your boys - yes, people are impossible about sexes. When I was pregnant, people asked what I wanted, a boy or a girl. I said, a puppy. That pretty well stopped them in their tracks!

When dd was born, they started saying, 'so you'll be trying for a boy next?' I said, no, a puppy. Actually, as h had given up sex forever after seeing the birth (not that he was ever very active in that area anyway , we never tried for anything at all!

Baffy, what an idiot h is! He's not helping his case, is he? Could you get your friends to come round to your place for the girls' night out & get a takeaway? Set times for ds sounds a good way forward. You can always become more flexible as ds gets older. Exh and I started with him having dd every weekend, then every two out of three. Now she and he decide it between themselves as she often has her own plans.

And don't worry about NM not having the same link with you that H had. If it's meant to be, you and he will gradually build your own special bond - just take your time and enjoy him. He sounds such a gem!

PC and Ginnedup - really sorry you're both feeling down.

Dior, how is H shaping up so far?

Tanee58 · 07/11/2007 15:12

Hi TFM (waving) !

Personally, when I was married, I was VERY worried about my bits getting mouldy ! Even all our parents were a bit shocked when it came out that we hadn't done 'it' for 10 years !!!!!!!

Tanee58 · 07/11/2007 15:13

Sorry - TMI!

ginnedupumpkin · 07/11/2007 16:01

at 10 years Tannee!!!

Baffy - isn't it funny how h is suddenly busy all weekend on dates now that you have met someone. Do you think he might be trying to make you jealous? He's being an arse! Glad you are going to enjoy your weekend anyway with ds, don't let him get you down anymore.

Ernest - I agree with Sugar, Meopham, Borough Green & Sevenoaks are nice. I'm in West Kent which has some nice places, Tunbridge Wells (bit expensive but nice), Paddock Wood and up towards Maidstone are nice too and a bit cheaper too.

PC - So sorry you are feeling bad. I know what its like to want to avoid happy couples. I feel a bit like that atm. They all seem smug to me, which is horrible because they probably aren't at all, its just my misery making it seem that way. Chin up!!

Dior · 07/11/2007 18:41

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Paddlechick666 · 07/11/2007 21:53

well, my vendor has said if we exchange by 30th nov they won't pursue the £2k. hopefully that will happen.

h has texted to say thanks for the picture thank-you card i sent but apparently his mother's dog got it so could i send another and a phone picture message "please please". clearly he doesn't realise it cost me £10 to get the photos printed and i don't have another.

on top of that his eldest MSN'd me tonight saying she'd heard from her nan that things "weren't good with you and dad" and that she was sorry and could she meet me and dd.

it's been over a year since i heard a whisper from her. her behaviour 2yrs ago was a contributory factor to H's breakdown (not the entire problem but even so....).

I just said "thanks, got to go eat some supper now" and she logged off.

i had to hold myself back from typing something about just bloody why "things aren't so good" but now i feel guilty for not agreeing to meet her.

FFS!

over this now, really really really over it all......

Baffy · 08/11/2007 08:30

Tanee - thanks for the advice and the lovely words about NM

PC - Fingers crossed for you that you exchange by the 30th then.

And as for your H.... well
Why is he so thoughtless all of the time! I won't rant (too much!) because I know you don't need it. But perhaps if he replaced the money he took out of the joint account and then gave you another £10 to get him replacement photos then he would have some idea of the value of things and not let the bloody dog get hold of it in the first place!!

I have some idea how angry you must be over the joint. H used to use our joint account to fund his meals and drinks with his OW (have to restrain myself from calling her something worse right now!) and I remember seeing it on the statements and feeling ready to explode.
But for him to use it to make a grand gesture for his own daughter's birthday knowing full well how much you are struggling and that all you and dd wanted was to have him there - it's just a measure of the man he is right now

As for his eldest dd - can you be sure it wasn't her mum who put her up to the suggestion so that she could find out what's going on? Or even H? I wouldn't put it past him.

I think you did the right thing in not agreeing to meet. If she cared she would have been in touch long before now. She is absolutely not your responsibility and you have enough to deal with. Let her talk to her dad if she needs answers.
And if she is genuinely concerned about seeing you and dd then I'm sure she will try and keep in touch and build up some sort of relationship with you. But I bet she doesn't!

TimeForMe · 08/11/2007 09:28

Good morning Ladies

PC - everything that Baffy said I second. BUT, can't leave without adding my bit Even if the photo/thank you only cost you 2p, even if they were free, no way would I be sending a replacement. He should have looked after it in the first place! His mothers dog got it! Why, where had he left it? In the dog bowl!!!

No, I fear this may be another ploy to have you doing something for him. To make himself feel you care for him. Don't do it darling!
If he is so bothered he can arrange to see dd in the flesh ad take his own photo. OK, rant over

Oooh, I'm so excited for you re the new home. It's going to be so lovely. And just before christmas too. It's great! xx

Fubsy · 08/11/2007 10:37

Hi everyone - just checking in briefly - DD off school sick this week, so havent been at work therefore couldnt get online - have just caught up with Dior's news tho.

Am mightily peed off at still not having any internet access. Have also just found out my friend has put me on My Single friend!

Hve gone through with it, but bet I just get oddballs.......

TimeForMe · 08/11/2007 10:45

Fusby, be grateful for what you get! Oddballs are better than no balls at all!

MascaraOHara · 08/11/2007 10:46

Hi all, I've lost track of this thread again due to being completely self abosrbed with wretched self-pity.

I plan to grab a cup of tea later and catch up properly. I'm ready to start feeling fab and glam

TimeForMe · 08/11/2007 11:09

It does you good to 'wallow' for a while MOH. You enjoy it and don't feel bad for doing it

I'm going to brave the howling gales and pouring rain and go out for a walk. If I don't get out I get depressed and right now i prefer to get wet!

ginnedupumpkin · 08/11/2007 14:15

Hello MOH.
You've really been through the mill you poor thing. Nothing wrong with wallowing though, I swear it does you good, clears your head, but hell to go through at the time.

Looks like House swap is a no-go. It seems to be in a horrible road, not sure which house it is yet but if its where I think it is then I wouldn't let a dog live there!

I really got my hopes up for a fresh start too. Ho Hum.

TimeForMe · 08/11/2007 14:20

Don't let that stop you GUM. Why not put your own ad forward for a house swap? Now you have started moving forward don't think i'm going to let you stop!

ginnedupumpkin · 08/11/2007 14:26

TFM - My house has been on the website and on the council register for over a year and this is the first interest I have had. I think its because I am lookihg to swap from 2 beds to 3 and not many people are keen to do that.

I'm going to put some new pics of my house on the website today (after I've tidied up a bit of course!!) and make more of the off road parking then maybe I'll get somewhere.

The thought of a fresh start away from here is soooooo appealing at the moment.

TimeForMe · 08/11/2007 14:47

Good! That all sounds good to me! Do you definately want 3 beds or would you be prepared to accept 2 beds just to get away? If so, you might get the fresh start you are looking for sooner than you think

I can't believe the change I am 'seeing' in you! I love it! Go Teabag! xx

ginnedupumpkin · 08/11/2007 15:37

I do need 3 really, or at least 2 large beds. The boys are in a bunk bed in a poky little room at the moment and I really want them to have their own rooms, especially when they get older.
I love the house I'm in, love the area, the local school etc, just that we've outgrown it and the bigger the boys get the worse it will be.
I'm sure something will turn up eventually.
(Thanks for the FB gift by the way, it really gave me a much needed boost!)

TimeForMe · 08/11/2007 15:46

You are welcome xx

Tanee58 · 08/11/2007 16:49

If it's any comfort, I got my own (tiny, but mine own) room when I was 10, lost it when my parents bought a house and needed to take tenants to help with the mortgage, got one again when I was 14, lost it when I was 16 and my father wanted to work from home, finally got the front, huge, main bedroom when I was 20 when my father finally built an extension for his office and little sis got the back bedroom.

I loved it so much, I didn't leave home till I was 30 !

I survived, but I do SO enjoy having my own space as a result!

Dior · 09/11/2007 09:14

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Baffy · 09/11/2007 09:55

No of course not Dior - not at all - you were spot on

Swipe left for the next trending thread