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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

NEW FAB AND GLAM

952 replies

Dior · 17/08/2007 13:32

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Baffy · 25/10/2007 15:55

Not a problem MoH. Right.. give me 5 mins and I'll do a quick summary of where it's all up too...

Then everyone else can come and correct me where I've made mistakes...

Baffy · 25/10/2007 16:40

ok here's my update... feel free to come on and throw mouldy fruit at me if i've got any of this wrong or missed anyone out...
In no particular order...

paddlechick
Is being really strong, is now ignoring her H's texts and messages as he pretty much only gets in contact when it is for himself, and pc finds that she is much more relaxed and a much better mummy when she doesn't have him around and making her feel on edge all the time. She's always waiting for the next time he lets dd down, or doesn't turn up when he says he will, so she is trying to now focus only on herself and dd and ignore him until he starts to realise that he needs to be the one making the effort and taking the steps to start putting things right.
(It's obviously very difficult for her though as she still loves him so much. He just keeps hurting her and letting her down.)
We?re all hoping and praying he comes to his senses soon.

macdoodle
has got her lovely bump growing and is doing amazingly well.
she has bumped into her H's ow and baby and seen their car when out in town etc, and that is really difficult to cope with.
she's not sure where H is coming from sometimes, he's sometimes saying all the right things, but then sometimes she doesn't know what is going on between him and OW.
she is considering breaking the ties (financially in particular) but it's all so difficult and complicated and made much worse by the fact that no matter what, she still loves him and he's the father of her girls.
sounds like she is getting stronger and more positive by the day though - that can only be good

lilybubble
is back after a while away. she has moved back to london, has settled back into her old job and things are going ok (as far as i know).
difficult time for her and she didn't post for a while as it was all too difficult, but she seems to be really strong now and doing really well.

ernest
after a long battle, sadly ernest's MIL passed away this week so she has been in England and helping to sort out the funeral.
her dh has started his job in Milan.
things all seem to be going well.
and ernest is pregnant!!!!
best news we've had on here in ages.

lilyloo
also has bump growing by the day and is doing really well. pops on to keep up to date and give us all great advice. as far as i know she's doing really well.

timeforme
is as wise and sensible as ever. she's really settled and happy at the moment and and is still the main source of humour on the thread!!
(need some juicy gossip for your section for next time TFM! )

osj/sunshine
haven't heard much from osj in a while - hopefully she'll be along soon to update us.
her nan died and she had to face seeing her dad who she hadn't seen in a long while which was a difficult time for her.
last I heard I think she is moving house in November, so she's probably busy with that.
also i think she said she was meeting H in amsterdam or something like that - but not too sure how that went.

Dior
is doing amazingly well with the weight loss. she has a crush on her son's barber which is great and keeping her smiling
she thinks she is mentally at a stage of ending things with H but is not quite ready to make that final step. continues to give us all excellent support on here despite the things she is going through herself.

ginnedup
well... you can see the latest
things had been doing well until dp came home in a bad way after drinking the other night so ginnedup made the difficult decision to stand up to him and say he really needs to get help as she's not prepared to accept this anymore. hopefully it will have sunk in and he'll start to get the help he needs.
doctors visit tomorrow is a good start.
(and agree that you shouldn't let him come back until you can see some definite improvements)

happywoman
is doing amazingly well in the circumstances. it's one year on now from when it all happened and even though it is difficult at times, with the memories and now certain dates reminding her of certain things, she is doing great.
her dh continues to make an effort and it sounds like things between them are good.
still difficult at times regarding OW, and like me, the anger and frustration sometimes builds up a bit, but day by day things are looking better.
she is an absolute star and role model for me.

tanee
had few problems with dp just before he went off to Germany - he tends to get quite insular just before going off on tour and was sleeping in the spare room a bit. but they managed to sort everything out just before he went and now tanee is looking forward to visiting him over there at the end of the month.

sugar
is doing great and everything seems to be going really well. the time apart from dh really helped him come to his senses and see what he was losing and it sounds like things are all good there at the moment. sugar definitely deserves lots of with what she went through.
(also sugar's ds had an operation while her H was having his meltdown, and paddlechick went along to support her and be with her. the power of MN is brilliant at times.)

fubsy
i'm rubbish - we haven't caught up properly yet but i think everything is going ok?

DTM
is quite new on here so we haven't heard too much from her but i think she is doing ok? hopefully we'll hear from her soon.

baffy
has finally started to realise that her happiness doesn't lie with H and has been on a few dates with a new man. has now spoken to H and stopped doing things socially with him, now they only contact each other about ds.
NM is lovely and giving her lots of confidence, new job is going very well, and things are starting to look much better

oh... and we're all being called teabags as TFM and myself heard a quote which was that women are like teabags... put us in hot water and we only get stronger...

phew.....

right go on everyone... correct me!!

Baffy · 25/10/2007 16:42

5 mins.... hahahaha... 45 mins!

I hope you all don't mind me doing that. I skim read the thread and I haven't put anything that you didn't put yourselves so I hope it's ok. Feels strange saying 'she did this' and 'she felt that' etc... I hope I haven't said anything wrong girls...
Feel free to beat me up if I have

xxx

HappyWoman · 25/10/2007 16:45

Fantastic baffy - still the little star!!!!

I think when we meet up we should all wear t-shirts with tea-bags on them.

This is so much better than being in a gang at school.

Baffy i have emailed you as i cannot use facebook with my email address and wondered if you could contact me through it - i have registered with them.

Baffy · 25/10/2007 16:50

HW
Much better than a gang!

I shall keep an eye out for t-shirts with teabags!!

Will check my email now xx

MascaraOHara · 25/10/2007 16:58

Wow Baffy, thanks.. feel like I know what's going on a little bit now.

I feel a bit like the new kid at school

Baffy · 25/10/2007 17:01

Not at all... things change so fast I sometimes can't keep up from one day to the next myself (and that's just with my own situation!)

I spend far too much time on here though. Must go home and see my ds now...
Look at me saying 'new job is going well' - mainly because I still get on here all the time! Must do some real work tomorrow!

Tanee58 · 25/10/2007 17:37

Baffy, that's a brilliant resume of us all! It's helped fill in a few gaps for me, too!

Hi MoH, glad to have you in the pot .

macdoodle · 25/10/2007 17:45

What a lovely update Baffy makes us all sound like superwomen

macdoodle · 25/10/2007 17:45

oh and 3 babies how wonderful

ginnedupumpkin · 25/10/2007 18:27

Nice one Baffy - that was spot on!!!

love all the new witches faces

Tanee58 · 25/10/2007 18:43

ok, I THINK I've sorted myself out on Facebook - thanks for your help, GinnedUp - hope to see some of you there soon! Dior, have I found you at last?

Going home now, have a sore eye that threatens to turn me into Crazy Frog & need a large glass of wine and a sit down in front of the telly to unwind.

One of the lads at work asked me today if I had any photos of me from the '70s. I said I looked much the same, only my hair was down to my waist then and I didn't need to dye it. Not bad then, says he. Either he's a TERRIBLE flirt (and young enough to be my son) or I haven't quite lost it yet . Very glad I recruited him!

Dior · 25/10/2007 19:04

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OP posts:
Dior · 25/10/2007 19:05

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OP posts:
Dior · 25/10/2007 23:24

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ernest · 26/10/2007 07:59

morning all. Thanks baffy for your wonderful summery. New lay out confusing me. Just read you^d had a job interview and it'd gone badly etc and I thought, bloody hell, she's only been in her new job 5 minutes' then I realised the layout's all changed and it was old post etc etc. DOn't mind me.

Got back late last night. For loads of reasons the return drive is so much worse than the drive to UK so was glad dh was with me this leg (drove out alone and planned to drive back alone, but circumstances changed obv)

Funeral was, well, what can you say? I had to do a reading, and was ok till just before, but the heartbreaking moans and sobs from her 82 years old mum was just too much, so I broke down just before and had to force my way through it with a really wobbly voice. No idea if I was even audible or not.

My 3 boys loked so smart and were absolutely perfect all day long (miracle) so was very proud of them, loads of people commented on how good they were, and everyone knew how much mil doted on them. Just about her last words before her op were that she wouldn't see her boys grow up But I was very glad they came and so were they.

Was terrible leaving fil yesterday. All alone. pil always found it difficult after we left, going from boisterous mad week to sudden silence, but this time, not only was the house quiet but it was the 1st time since his wife died that he's been alone. 39 years married and barely appart that whole time.

Anyway, eldest 2 boys still sleeping (it's nearly 9 am), they should've been in school an hour ago but I didn't have the heart to wake them. It's such a tiring drive and we got back late. I'm feeling rebellious and don't care what the school say. Anyway, if I'd sent them in, they'd be too tired to learn anything anyway.

And finally, am going to phone the doctor this morning. am 6 weeks pg today.

Btw, slight ammendment baffy, dh is still here, he starts next week in Milan - we'll drive him down there next Thursday night going to be very strange.

Wishing you all a wonderful day.

Baffy · 26/10/2007 08:42

oh ernest how

so glad that you all got through it ok though and the boys were so good. I definitely think it was the right thing letting them go.
so so sad for your FIL, I just don't know how people get through times like this

can't believe it's next Thurday dh starts in Milan - are you feeling ok about it?

and how's the pg going, got any morning sickness?

well... as for this new format I was so totally and utterly confused when I logged on (doesn't take much!). I've just gone back to the old format - always worked fine for me!

Baffy · 26/10/2007 08:54

btw Dior - those earrings sound lovely

and thanks for the update on OSJ. let her know we're thinking of her.

HW - I have sent you an invitation to the fab&glam group on Facebook so let me know if you don't get it.

Quick update from me... went to see NewMan again last night for tea. Took ds with me too as I'd been at work all day and hadn't seen him.
We had a really lovely evening! He was a bit nervous with ds (totally understandable when you have a 2 year old toddler bounding round your living room!!), but he was so sweet with him. He sat with him on the computer looking at the cbeebies web site and playing games, and then he took him to see different things around the house and found things for him to play with to keep him busy.
He's such a nice bloke.

I called him once I'd got home and got ds to bed, just to say I hope he was ok with everything and I know it's a bit much having a toddler running round when you're not used to it, and that I was looking forward to spending some time just the two of us this weekend. And he was so nice! He said don't be daft, you two come as a package and ds is always welcome and he wouldn't have it any other way!

He has invited me to go to his friends wedding with him on Saturday as his guest!
And he has got us tickets to see a gig on Sunday night...
Can't stop smiling today!!

MascaraOHara · 26/10/2007 09:03

Baffy, that man sounds fab!

Baffy · 26/10/2007 09:05

MoH I know, it doesn't seem real!

How are you doing?

MascaraOHara · 26/10/2007 09:08

erm, this is where I feel obliged to say I'm doing well lol but I'm not so great.. did sleep for a lot of the night last night which was great but am so tired today. I feel pretty rubbish at the minutes but been back on A/Ds for a week now and I think they're starting to kick in. Have a meeting with bloke shortly

MascaraOHara · 26/10/2007 09:08

Ps. Where did you find him

Baffy · 26/10/2007 09:14

that would be telling

good that you managed to get some sleep but when you're feeling rubbish it's like you're tired all the time isn't it - I felt like I could have slept for days at a time.

what's the meeting for?

ernest · 26/10/2007 09:20

baffy new man sounds amazing. you deserve to be treated well. enjoy!

moh, sorry you're not feeling so goof right now. hope things pick up for you soon.

re pg, feel same as normal, but then didn't have any ms with other 3 pg anyway. I seem to remember my main symptoms were feeling like I had a terrible hangover for most of pg (exhausted, insatiably thirsty, headache, fuzzy. really, exactly like bad hangover, for most of 9 months, but can honestly say have no symptoms at all which is a bit concerning)

MascaraOHara · 26/10/2007 09:23

lol, it's a work meeting - nothing exciting.

should probably give an overview of my situation I guess. I know Dior knows the whole story and she has been very supportive!

In brief. I split form xp in July after nearly 3yrs - he wasn't my dds father but was the closet thing she's had (she's just turned 5). Immediately my ex jumped into bed with another woman and my boss made a big play for me.. sort of whisked me off my feet, with promises of looking after me and dd, telling me how my luck had changed etc made a grand gesture on my birthday. Invited himself on holiday with me and dd, drove us to airport, paid more than his part of the cost etc.. I really fell for him and then he started saying "I don't know what I want" etc and blew all cold and is now behaving like a tit really.

During this time 2 of my grandparents have been diagnosed with terminal illnesses. My ex has since got back with his ex. And a few other minor things.

Sorry that's longer than expected but I think that brings you up to speed with the last few months of my life