NEW FAB AND GLAM

[Dior]

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totally agree pc - I won't actually have to say it out loud, we both already know it!

and definitely TFM has been a major part in helping me turn this around, 100% agree with that!

you too pc. your strength is amazing. and every other person on this thread. I would have never got to this stage so quickly without all of you

lol TFM! Not just yet! And pc has this course...

We may have helped you along the way but you have done all the work yourself. You have been prepared to listen, to take advice and put it into action. None of it can have been easy for you because you were so much in love. But you did it! With bells on! And now you are reaping the rewards. You just enjoy every single minute of it!!

Well you know what happens when things are not aired regularily?

They go mouldy!!!

Maybe its time too start a new thread!!

Lady gardens,airings,whips and chains we discuss the lot!!

Baffy good on you think we all know what the "talk" would have ended up as!!

Just go back a few months on the threads and everyone but especially you and pc have come through so much imo and you have come out smiling and happy. And it is so fantastic to "feel" that from you. Before your pain was so real to me i could feel it for you both and it broke my heart. Now its singing for you all and im so happy for you i could cry!

More faces and and baffy pc even some from you soon on here please!!

Definitely need more and here!

I'm sure I'll have some stories for you soon!!

lol at mouldy fanjos! Now if ever I needed an excuse... well that is perfect...

Just wanted to add baffy that i too think you are doing so very well. You are going at the right pace too - you are putting your son first and living the life you now can have.

Of course your h is going to try and 'control' the situation, that is what they have all done to us. But now you are in full control and it feels good if a little scary too. But you just enjoy it and dont feel a bit bad about the salt, the quicker he gets to rock bottom the quicker he can recover - if only for your ds and himself.

Have a good week.

Thanks HW

It does feel good to be back in control. But I don't even think it's about me and H anymore. I am controlling the way I act towards him - which helps a lot because I don't feel the need to have him there every second. But I think, it's more the fact that I've realised that I can control my own happiness and that's what is truly important.

He still holds all the cards with regards to our old relationship. But it's now up to me if there is ever to be a 'new' relationship between us.

But I'm not even sure if there will be. Or even if I want it anymore. It's just nice to feel happy for once. I'm enjoying every second

HW are you on facebook?

I hope that all made sense - I do waffle these days!

In a nutshell - I used to think being with H was the key to being happy. Now I know it's not! If I'm happy, then having someone special in my life will be a bonus. (And he'll be a lucky man )

i know exactly what you mean - i too felt like that for a while. I now know that it is up to me to be happy for myself and i cannot 'make' people want to be with me. i have been luck because i have had h with me to help me on my journey but i am sure if i had as many lies as you and had to do it on my own i would not want him in my life anymore.

Hope that makes sence - no i am not on facebook yet - is it easy to do? i am not brilliant with techno things. I have got some things i would like help with though.

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HW totally agree. I will always wish that my H could have been like yours, realised his mistakes, and stuck around to put things right and help me through this. But like you say, the extent of the lies is just unbelievable. The counsellor got me to write things down as a way of dealing with all of the hurt and anger, and when I saw in black and white the things he had lied about (especially the lies concerning ds), it really did hit me just how much I've been through. Stupid selfish man!

btw I'll e-mail you.

Dior how are you doing?

Baffy, I'm so pleased for you! Nigella & a glass of wine - in bed - what better way to spend a Monday night (could have phrased that better too - Nigella's such a hoot, isn't she?

PC, of couse he should come to dd - doesn't he actually WANT to see her on her birthday, or is he such a coward?

Thanks Tanee - I knew what you meant

Things are all still good.

New man seems quite keen though - he's asked me to go round tonight for dinner as I told him I'm busy tomorrow and saturday. But he's at a wedding on saturday and said can he come and pick me up after my meal on saturday evening and take me as his guest to the night time of the wedding!

Plus he texted last night to say he had tickets to see a gig on sunday night and would I like to go...

It's really lovely. I do want to see him. I just need to balance things with ds. I don't see ds half as much of ds as I'd like so it's tricky. I'm thinking perhaps if I spend my evenings as normal with ds, then once he's asleep, then go and see NM. That way ds is not missing out on any time with me.

(Plus that is making the most of being at my mums as there is always someone in to listen to the monitor just in case he wakes up! Which he never does!)

I haven't got enough hours in the day at the moment...

Well done baffy!

It doesnt matter whether H isnt happy with you. It was his choice, and he is learning he has to live with that. It must be a shock for him realising you are so much stronger than him!

And now I want to use all these lovely new emoticons

So where did all the hallowe'en hats come from? Love 'em !

Baffy, that's so exciting - you enjoy it. I know what you mean about balancing your attention between ds and NM. I have to do the same - in the same house when dp's home - spend some time in one room, chatting to dd, then in the other room, chatting to dp. It's quite a juggling act, so neither of them feel left out. When dp was depressed earlier this year, he said he felt that sometimes I pay more attention to the CATS than to him at that time, I was so teed off with him, he was probably right.

My latest juggle, have just agreed to visit dp in Germany, where he's currently on tour, and taking dd to see the Stereophonics at Wembley. Well, there goes my Christmas budget...

Hi

Still feeling crappola but am wanting to feel fab and glam.

Germany and the concert will be great tanee - worry about the money in january

Hi MoH - how's things?

Hi Mascara.
Come on in - you'll be feeling Fab & Glam in no time.

I can't believe what I've done. I slept with dp last night. He came round just at the point when I was feeling really low about everything, gave me a cuddle and you can figure out the rest.

I am so weak and stupid. WHY WHY WHY did I do it.

at myself today.

lol, I hope I will. I'll hold you to that GUM.

I'll have to ear mark time to read the thread properly - it's so long!

ginnedup - don't be so hard on yourself

you made a massive statement with how you handled things the other night so don't let this get you down. I did it myself so many times. And would sometimes just say to myself ah well, it was worth it
but I won't do it again!!

How's things between you two now?

MoH - do you want me to try and do a summary to update you on it all??

Blimey, would you mind?!? that would be brill.

Ginned up

Baffy is right dont be too hard on yourself - try and think of it as a 'bit of relief' for you - sorry if that is too crude!

I too did it and felt crap after but in one way also knew i could 'get' him too and not allow anyone else to have him all to themselves.

Ginned don't feel bad we all did it (many times).....just think of it in terms of what you got out of it
I managed to resist this morning still being cool but civil...feeling stronger by the day

I think I'm annoyed with myself because I made such a stand the other night then blew it all by weakening at the last minute. (It was gooooood though )
Anyway, I still won't let him move back in yet though, tempting as it is.
He's going to the doctors tomorrow so I'll wait and see.