NEW FAB AND GLAM

[Dior]

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see the thing is none of these/our men are "bad men"...they don't beat us/aren't aggresive..from posts I guess most of them actually love/care for us and our children...they are just stupid/selfish/immature boys who could not/can not deal with grown up responsibility and relationships and no being the centre of attention- treating us with respect and care (all of us including yours Dior)..I think that is the problem ..the men we met are still there we still love them we still want the lives/futures we thought we had and that is what makes it very hard to hate/leave/ignore them.....I live in hope that one day I will have the life/future I want whether it be alone/with H or with a new man.....but hey at least I have the teabags

You will definately have the future you want Macdoodle! Most definately.
This is all a learning curve and once all the anger and the crap is out of the way you can set about using what you have learned effectively.
Sometimes we stay angry in an effort to protect ourselves but in the end it just ends up eating away at us. It makes us bitter and it stops us from moving on.

Until then, yes, you have the Teabags

such sad postings today. luckily tfm is on hand with her very wise words to keep you all going

pc that must of been hard for you being caught in the middle. you did the very right thing tho well done.

totally agree "the men" are not bad they are just idiots!! lol

Anyone heard from ernest? hasnt her dh gone to milan now?

One day we will all meet up and i for 1 cant wait!

The trouble is sugar, we change too, we become sort of subservient for want of a better word, we let them get away with treating is badly then we put all the blame on them. If we want them to change then we have to change too.

No. not heard from Ernest for ages! Hope she is ok.

Fancy a ticket for the bus trip Sugar?
It's got a touch of the de ja vu about it hasn't it! x

i definately want a ticket!

Your absolutely right we do blame them for everything! well i did. Nothing entitles them to an affair tho but looking back i was like baffy totally took dh for granted as he was such a good dh. But it also made me truely look at myself anfd the way i was and i didnt like what i saw so i changed.

I hate seeing anyone in pain especially those i care about. Anyone with a magic wand out there to take it all away??

Anyways the tribes bath times now take care everyone xxx

Thats 2 lovely posts today! Yours and Baffy's

No, there is no excuse for an affair but, you have proved there is a way back from it.

And, I don't know about you but, I like the 'new' me, far better than I liked the 'old' me

absolutely! the old me was a complete ratbag!!

sorry not been around, no time to chat now. We came to UK on Monday as mil was a bit better, so drove over Monday and about an hour after we arrived the hospital phoned to say she was very poorly, then they phoned back 15 minutes later to say she'd died. Poor dh is all alone at home, but at least I'm here with fil and helping to arrange funeral etc. Obv. was not expecting it, so only came with couple of pairs of jeans and t shirts each. I thought I'd buy the kids school uniform type clothes, where would anyone recommend I try? Do they make them small (for a midget almost 4 year old?)

Busy changing ferry bookings and flights for dh and funeral, so can't catch up on you all, hope you're all ok. I'll be back home ned of next week. xx

So sorry Ernest perhaps a relief for her and all of you....
Cheap easy clothes/school uniform - ASDA or Tesco...bit more upper class mothercare/NEXT

so sorry to hear that ernest
catch up properly when you're back home next week xx

I could really do with some advice - have started a new topic on facebook. Anything you can suggest will be much appreciated! Thanks everyone.

I am so sorry ernest thinking of you.

I second Macdoodles reccomendation of Asda for school uniform. Small fitting too x

ernest so sorry for you and all the family xx

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popping back in as fil has asked me to print off his funeral speech. Just found out this am that sil fil died this am, son in a couple of days she's lost her mum, and her dh has lost his dad, and her dd lost 2 grandparents. She never recovered from the brain tumour op in June, so in a way it's a relief she has finally died, but she was so energetic and wonderful and well liked by everyone it's a huge loss. She was the best grandparent a kid could have so I really feel for my boys too. everyday they talk about her, pray for her, miss her. Anyway, I went out this am and managed to get all 3 of them, with much effort and toing and froing black trousers, white shirt, grey jumper. Couldn't get blazer or tie. D'you think that's ok. Unfortunately their shoes are navy or brown but I don't think I can stretch to 3 pairs of black shoes as well. Or will it just look too shit? I don't want to let the side down, especially as I'm sure lots of people will think they shouldn't go anywa, but to me it's important they are allowed to attend if they wish, and they said yes, after v. clear explanation of what to expect. I don't want death to be a scary secret or mystery or only for adults, iyswim

anyway, ta. am mostly ok. she was really brilliant.

I think thats absolutely fine re the clothes and shoes ernest, I am sure they will look very smart and won't let the side down at all.

That is really sad news about your sil. Gosh, all of this certainly puts everything into perspective doesn't it

We are all thinking of you x

That sounds absolutely fine re the boy's clothes ernest, they won't let the side down at all and you should be so proud of all of them.

So so sad I just can't find the words - if there is anything at all we can do just ask. Some of my very best friends are in London and we could help you out at the drop of a hat.

You take care xx

ernest, so sorry to hear about your MIL and SIL's FIL. such a sad time for you.

am sure your boys will look very smart and I for one think you're right in their attending the funeral.

my granny died when i was about 10 and we weren't even told of the funeral until afterwards. i was terribly upset not to have gone. we were so close and she looked after us every day after school. in fact it was me and brother who found her very ill in bed the morning that she died.

baffy, will check FB tonight. Am in the office today and it's banned there. thank goodness they've not figured out MN yet!

ps: another text from H today back on the "when are you moving" theme.

oh ernest

How awful for you - was only thinking of you yesterday - that i should email you and see if with h away you are ok?

I think you are right to take the boys - and your views in that it should not be scary or just for adults.

Something my son did at a family funeral was to pick some flowers from the garden as he knew people took flowers - they were only a tiny hand held bunch but i asked a florist to tie them with a dark purple ribbon and we took them with us. More people commented on them than all the expensive wreaths - which i found great comfort in.

Anyway i am thinking of you and still around to call on if you need me. I am coming up to london next week as it is half-term if you do need anything - but i will have my brood in tow.

PC - i think you are being so very strong at the moment and he is just not liking it. of course you want to contact him he has been a huge part of your life for so long and like so many of us here put the needs of others first most of the time.

ernest are you in kent? The turn off before mine? I can always ask around about borrowing shoes if you like? ds is on half term as of tomorrow his a size 8 if thats any use to you?

thinking of you xx

Just popping in to quickly send Ernest my love. At least she isn't in pain now. The clothes sound fine for the boys and completely agree about letting them attend funeral if they want to. Take care.

hi you all have been so great as ever. Sil (who makes Trinny & Sussanah look dowdy) thinks they should have the black shoes, so will have to dash to shop before hair dressers tomorrow morning. Thanks for the offers of help, you're all amazing. When I told the boys ds 1 cried a bit but then said "at least nanny isn't poorly any more. It's horrible being poorly, and she can see all of her frinds who've already died and gone to heaven" He's so sweet and thoughtful. He's being so kind to his grandad. Ds 2 & 3 are being bonkers and in a bonkers way helping to distract poor fil.

I am just up the road from you sp, in Shorne - you know it right? I duno what the English sizes are, they are about 33, 32 & 24. DO you know Gravesend well enough to recommend where to get shoes with minimum of fuss & pain?

Dh (& sil & grand p il)is very appreciative of how much I'm helping fil. It is good to know, but hey, I lovbe him like my own dad (as I did mil like my own mum) and I'm here. Who wouldn't do anything to help out someone when they've just lost thier spouse of 39 years. I miss dh and am glad he's flying over on Saturday, and now he's able to drive back with me which is great, it's a long way alone.

Thank God for she wees. You have to wonder about a nation that STILL installs holes in the floor as an acceptable form of sanitation.

sp, if you see this, have you got any great ideas for loacal (easy) stuff to do with kids? Mine (age 8, 6 & 3) are getting really stir crazy and I don't know what to do with 'em really. The usual day trips and visits are off due to circs, but they still need entertaining ta for ideas if you see this

just a thought - how about dying their shoes black? I used to do it a few years ago and it always worked. It would save on some money at least and you would know they already fitted them.

Stresful time for you all and i hope it all goes as well as it can.

You sound amazing and should be really proud of yourself. I am already wishing myself a DIL like you!! You seem to have such dignity - which is something laking in certain areas today.

Oh i do sound old fashioned - hark at me and wanting to start the 'decent' policial party. There would be very harsh punishments for adultery. So who would vote for me then????

Seriously though do be proud of yourself and what you have achieved ernest you are the type of person we should all try to be more like. it keeps me going to know there are decent moral people about.

Hello all, I am way behind again, so sorry, but just can't keep up!

Ernest, so very sorry to hear about MIL. SHe sounds like a wonderful woman who will be sorely missed Hope the funeral goes alright, and hope the boys are all ok.

PC, sorry you are having so much trouble still. I can't believe your h's behaviour, and that you're also having to deal with things like his own son trying to contact him It's such selfish behaviour! Sorry, but I just can't believe how these men of ours behave themselves sometimes.

Baffy, good for you with the date, yay! You going to see him again? at the new ow on facebook situation - not really at her, but at h's behaviour and lies they just don't stop, do they?!

GUP, boo to dp announcing your name, how annoying! Don't blame you for changing it, I hate the thought of RL friends finding this sort of thing.

Well not much to report from me really. Did have a good chat with h recently, in which he told me that his OW doesn't like him spending time with dd. Dozy bitch, honestly! THat's a way to a man's heart. He told her to get used to it and that dd will always be his number one priority and she never will be wow, finally some sense comes out of his mouth. Things a little better, in that we are not arguing and are actually having civil conversations.

Otherwise, waiting for my sister to have her baby - she's due 7th Nov, very exciting. Work is really busy, but good. Went to the press night of one of our shows this week and met Kylie! Quite exciting.

Got a fun weekend with my friend and my mum coming to stay, and holding a baby shower for my sis, so that's good. Trying to keep busy as tend to feel very low if I'm by myself and not much going on......normal, normal, normal I'm telling myself.....isn't it????!

Hope you are all well xx

morning all

helluva night at Paddle House. DD crying for most of it but not actually awake. night terrors i think.

Lily, we really need to hook up as we can't be too far apart.

off to work shortly and no FB but have been on there this morning.

hope everyone's got a little bit of sunshine today.