NEW FAB AND GLAM

[Dior]

Message withdrawn

silly man - still, I like the sound of 'ginneduppumpkin'. It conjures up all sorts of images .

update: just had today's communication which is a picture message of dd that he took when he last saw her in sept. it says that he cries when he looks at pics of dd and how lovely she is.

FFS! What is going on in his head?!?!?

Have had a very lazy day on the lounge catching up on lots of episodes of Brothers & Sisters.

have eaten some toast and drunk some juice. just trying to figure out what to have for supper now. i had got a curry and bottle of wine lined up but don't really feel like that now!

ok girls need you to tell me I am being paranoid....a poster pitched up on my antenatal thread who conveniently had same due date as me and was from same town - I CATed her to arrange a meet (under my RL name) and have had no response and no further postings..have searched that name and she only ever posted those few times on that thread...am worried this was cyber stalking (H OW is demented immature and manipulative and really wouldn't put it past her)....not sure to what end though as have never said anything on MN that I wouldn't or hadn't said to her or him in RL just prefer to be anonymous for number of reasons my job included ....feeling bit paranoid and nervy tonight now ...am going to mail MN, probably lie low and come back later with name change

hiya girls, do you mind if I join you lot?

H told me 4 weeks ago (5 actually I think now??) he no longer loves me and wants a divorce he claims there's no one else but i've since found MSN/various messages etc.

I think he's confused but I no longer have any energy to focus on him, i'm worn out and down. am going home tomorrow (have been away the last 5 weeks or so) over night then moving back in on sat and he's moving out - that house is not my home and is only a means to an end.

but am feeling glam, have a new style (comptletely) new hair, glasses, clothes a small amount of cash in the bank. just need to know it will get better and things can improve.

still can't beleive that everything has gone - after every thing we've been thru together he's jsut upped and walked away

hi DavidTennantsMistress

you'll get lots of support here - sounds like you're going through the same as a lot of us.
do you think there's a chance of working through this before you move out or do you think some time apart is your only option now? I'm so and for you - I know exactly how you feel. It's a rollercoaster of emotions isn't it.
You sound really strong though. The new look sounds like a great start.

pc are you feeling any better?

macd I'm not sure what to suggest - it doesn't sound too great does it. Do you think there is anything MNHQ could do - I doubt they'd release someone's real name to you would they. you should contact them to ask for advice though.

I know when that message was on here that seemed to be from H's ow, I asked MN to delete all my posts but they were quite reluctant to.
Maybe you could just get your posts on the Fab&Glam threads deleted as we all know the background anyway?
How bloody frustrating

btw girls - you know H was messaging that 19 year old girl on facebook - well I don't know why, but this morning I sent her a message on facebook saying hi I'm "H's" wife how are you?

dunno why - I just felt the need to say something! fed up of sitting back and letting him parade his pathetic affairs under my nose! shes gonna think I'm a nutter. but I don't care. his profile says he's married and is covered in pics of the baby and links to pics of us. why do these girls not give a sh*t about these things?

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True!

Got my angry head on today though so feeling like I can take on the world!!

H's ow has been in touch too. But that's a whole other (long!) story.

PC he is trying every trick in the book to get you to respond. He is feeling weaker and weaker now, he is realising that he has lost control over you.
Have you noticed how it is still about him, how he cries over her picture?

Don't fall for it PC. He is still playing the victim. This message wasn't about dd, it wasn't about you, it was about him!!

Stay strong!! XXX

Baffy but we will let you off. We can't expect you to be good all the time
Anyway, you are his wife so you weren't telling any fibs. H needs to get his house in order before he starts luring more little spiders into his trap. The wally!

There's lots of support one here DTM and we like to have a laugh too so, you will be ok with us
It sounds like you have done a great job without us so far anyway! Keep up the good work and don't waste too much time thinking about what went wrong.
You have a fantastic future waiting for you!

She just replied!

let me read it again and I'll get back to you...

H is a lying tw*t

Some random girl he just met... my arse!

She replied. Said...

'lovely to hear from you. I met "H" through "OW" a few months ago, to be honest they never said he was married at the time so I was shocked when I got onto facebook last week and saw everything on his profile.

I ran into him when we were out last week so we've been chatting since then.
I hope you don't mind me messaging him (I know if it was my husband I'd go mad if he was messaging another woman!). I promise there is nothing to worry about though.
If you want me to stop contacting him I will.

xxx

p.s. you and "ds" are gorgeous by the way - had a sneaky look at your pictures '

well??? advice anyone???? am lost for words.

Here goes, my advice. Don't do anything. Don't give him the satisfaction of thinking you are interested, that you care. If you start showing any feelings whatsoever with regard to this other OW he is going to think he still has you which, I believe he will love! Do not do it!

In fact, contact this new OW and ask her to mention you has been talking to you next time she messages him. [grin[ then lets se if he mentions it to you!

That should read 'ask her to mention to him that she has been talking to you! Also, that should be a

I'm all flustered now!

That's a good idea!

I don't know wha't up with me... why am I surprised that he lied?!?!

I wonder what old OW will think when she finds out new OW is one of her mates!!
Would love to be a fly on the wall when that one comes out!

Now, if you remain in control and don't let your emotions get the better of you, you could have some fun with this. Just sit back and watch H squirm

Old OW will probably go psycho when she finds out about new OW!! Wouldn't you just love to send her a message saying "you see, what goes round, comes round"

hehe yes I would!!

But I think it's better coming out in it's own time isn't it... nothing to do with me... but I'm tempted!!
Hoping old ow bumps into them when they're out togther. Pretty sure she'd give H a good smack!
(She's that type of girl... real lady!!)

Feeling much better now. Thanks TFM. Also - have just had a lovely message from an old school friend who I've got back in touch with via facebook. Shall I say (gorgeous) old school friend. He's back living by me after splitting with his girlfriend and wondered if I fancy a drink!
Made me anyway.

I have my leaving do tonight from my old job too. Should be a good laugh!

am coz i can't get on facebook from work!

wanna check out your new hottie Baffy!!

TFM, as ever, thanks for your perspective. I agree with you that the ever present theme of "me, me, me" is still in play. i guess it's worked in the past when he tells me how upset he is over dd etc.

i'm feeling better today after a day on the lounge catching up on Brothers & Sisters.

due to go out for drinks tonight with an old friend but tbh, am very tempted by another solitary night on the lounge LOL!

need to motivate myself to go out this eve tho. rarely get the chance and especially after my big do was such a blow-out.

Mac, not really sure what to suggest. do you really think it might be the OW? maybe just let it go and not "speak" to that person again? as you've said, you have nothing to hide and would say it all to the OW's face anyway.

MDT, welcome to our thread. You sound pretty fab & glam already. I think I read another thread of yours. Good luck with moving back in, sounds like a means to an end but am sure things will get better for you soon.

fubsy, bummer about the 'net access. pop in when you can and hopefully it'll be sorted out quickly.

i have no idea when the Xmas night out is as i didn't even think to see if I could go tbh. I would know quite a few there tho as we have a pretty active West London group on Meet Ups. In fact they're my core gruop of friends these days!

I'll start a discussion (FB) and see if we can get a night in Nov/Dec that suits us.

I should be moving early Dec tho it's going to be a busy old time!

It's good to see that you girls don't stay down for long these days.

Did you watch pride of britain the other night? If so, did you see the lady that said "most women are like teabags, put us in hot water and see how strong we get" I immediately thought of our little group.

I think we should rename ourselves 'The Teabags'

I thought exactly the same thing when I heard that quote! How weird is that!

Yep we do seem to be bouncing back quicker these days. That can only be a good thing

Yey seems I was being overly paranoid and poster on antenatal is not OW (at least if she is then she is even more demented than I thought)
Baffy your H sounds like mine not prepared to let us go/meet someone else/move on/have the responsibility of a family but wanting to live their life as they please with pretty little family in background ! Stuff em I say their loss.....

well girls i'm back here! H is currenlty moving his stuff out- but the bed is amd wiht my bedding, clotehs are all mine now little things but a bundle of new avon make up also arrived today - think h's nose is getting put out of joint a bit!

have said to him tonight it's his choice but either way i'm going back home - i've had enough of his shit and don't have the energy for it any more. he said he didn't know if he liked/preferred it on his own as he's not been single yet as he's been here instead of in the flat with his mates - tosser!

v v pissed off today thou, seemed to think it was ok to take a 19 monht old baby out in the cold with literally a vest thin jumper and jeans on - a nappy which was so wet by the time I picked DS up the jeans were soaked as well. seriosuly and he calls him self a dad. thing is thou now all of his single mates are getting engaged/moving away we'll see how soon he wants to come back - if I let him lol.

baffy - you've more guts than me I think messaging someone you know whit H - I found a few messages and went mad at H/MIL. odd thing is H has changed his status on facebook no longer listed as married, BUT! still carries his wedding rings around on his key chain, still has all of the wedding pics up in the house. (i've been back one day and am taking them down - it's lazyness i'm sure but why do it when you're so sure/adamant this is what you want?)

tfm - aww that's a lovely phrase, this last 6 weeks or so has really proved to me how much i'd changed with H and not looked after myself properly (emotionally etc) has been good really to get a kick up the bum to get the old fighting spirit back instead of the 'yes dear' supportive wife one. today he said 'don't start' at tea time I fewlt like saying F&&&k off, i'm not the same push over I was 6 weeks ago you know laddy! esp now my family know pretty much every thing which has been going on (he's been a manipulative controlling bully if i'm honest completely)

paddle - hope you did manage to get out. get some slap on and have a boogie (as they say! lol) althou i'm not a fine one to talk on that front!

thanks for the warm welcomes girls - it does get easier doesn't it? monday will be a tester really - seeing my old mates (only about 4/5 know) so far so will be a test to see them all and say it out loud again (read as not cry! lol)

ooh and the tosser laughed at my new specs - which I might add make me look younger apparently! and lovely (althou mums bias! lol). said after it was the 'shock' as he's only ever seen my old pair and these are completely differnet.

Hi DTM

Don't you let him get to you! You are doing great and should be very proud of yourself.
Be prepared though, for when your H see's you going from strength to strength, when he notices that the chyrsalis (sp?) is turning into a butterfly he will, as sure as nails is nails, try to win you back! you mark my words!

You just continue as you are doing, there's only one winner in all of this and that is going to be you!!!

Wow love the teabag thing. I am certainly feling stronger now and much more in control than i have for a long time. Still lots of stuff to sort out but i think finally h is beginning to understand what it is i am talking about.

Finially ow has been moved - at her request to anohter job and h said he feels that the 'game playing' is coming to an end for her. He now thinks that she was hoping i could not cope with his return (some days i am not sure i do - so i just spend some of his hard earned cash to make myself feel better )

Welcome to DTM it really is great here to get rid of all those useless emotions that fill our heads from time to time.

Have a great weekend everyone.

hey did anyone notice i did my first smiley face.

One day i will get around to working out how to use MSN or facebook!!!