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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

NEW FAB AND GLAM

952 replies

Dior · 17/08/2007 13:32

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DavidTennantsMistress · 13/10/2007 18:59

tfm - think he's already realising it's a mistake and I don't need him! lol. so far the plan is working! he he he

also said last night he's not sure how it will be in the single rooms and that it's 'ok' wihtout DS and I - in other words as far as I can see if it suits him he'll stay there if not he'll come back - my answer was well i'm going don't care what you want/do!

it's like a game of chess at the mo!

TimeForMe · 14/10/2007 12:12

Well done HW!

And what a nice cheerful and bright post from you. I can 'see' the change.....

A 'Teabag' you have become!

Here's to more Teabags! xx

Dior · 14/10/2007 16:22

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Baffy · 15/10/2007 09:02

Dior you are doing amazingly well at the moment. Don't let him get to you and stay strong. I could see the difference in you last week - keep it up xx

HW glad she has finally moved on. Time for many more faces on here.

Hope you all had a good weekend?

Dior · 15/10/2007 09:18

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HappyWoman · 15/10/2007 09:31

Dior

You seem like so many of us to be caught up in a game. I do believe you want to move on and i am sure i would find it so very hard too. But you must stay true to yourself and it is up to you to make yourself happy.

It is not fair on your h to delay it either and you really dont want that guilt later on.

I hope you find the strengh to live your true life.

Thinking about you.

Wishing everyone a fantasic week.

sugar34plum · 15/10/2007 11:02

hello all.

Wow so much to catch up on! just wanted to say hi and im loving all the

Paddlechick666 · 15/10/2007 11:45

well, I haven't heard a peep from H since Thursday evening.

guess i will have to be in touch with him if his money doesn't go in this month....

TimeForMe · 15/10/2007 13:02

Hi Sugar [smie]

Hi PC - be prepared that he may not pay the money in just so as to get a reaction from you.
Fingers crossed that he just pays it anyway, but, keep up the good work if he doesn't. You are doing so well!!

TimeForMe · 15/10/2007 13:02

That should be a sugar

ginnedupumpkin · 15/10/2007 14:34

I love the name "Teabags" for us - its great.

Glad to hear we're feeling more positive - well done PC, the more you ignore him the more it might make him think. Why should you always be at his beck and call - he's kept you hanging on enough lately. It's time the tables turned.

Gotta go - don't want to get caught MN'ing when I should be working

ginnedupumpkin · 15/10/2007 14:35

Sounds like you've made your mind up Dior. Hope things start to improve for you now.
x

macdoodle · 15/10/2007 16:04

Hi all so glad everyone seems more cheerful/positive...soo tired with this pregnancy and so overwhelmed by everything I need to do - house/finances/work/xmas/baby preparation etc...and do feel quite alone this time...even though H came along this morning to collect pram and beanbag chair....
Things so up and down with H - some days I think maybe just maybe I am falling in love with him again, some days I hate him so much it hurts...but mostly just so sad that he threw it all away for some dimwitted blond bimbo and now we are stuck with her in our lives forever (am struggling with the thought of her baby) - went shopping the other day with DD and ended up parked opposite her car (with stupid baby on board sign ..I hate those like it makes a difference)..almost drove away but thought I have nothing to be ashamed of but was on tenterhooks might bump into her and baby ...and it can only get worse....

Dior · 15/10/2007 16:54

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Tanee58 · 15/10/2007 17:27

Hallo Teabags, espec DTM, you sound like you already have it so sussed. Men don't like change - I'll bet your new specs are great. DP actually said he missed my 'Nanas' as he called them - they made me look like Nana Mouskouri - when I had my eyes lasered last year & threw them away.

I'll get my in now before I start ranting about Bloody Men. DP has seriously depressed me by sleeping in the spare room most of this past week, ever since I had my bad cold. First it was to avoid infection, now he says he sleeps better there . I'm trying to see it from his view -I know he's very tired, has certainly been sleeping badly, is stressing about his new play, but I feel like I'm putting in so much and getting very little back and I still don't feel very well. I slept really badly last night, and when I did sleep, had dreams in which we talked it out - so I had the whole script in my head when I finally gave up trying to sleep. But when I did get up, I could scarcely even look him in the face. I just feel so neglected and sad, and he's going on tour on Wednesday so I shan't see him till December - unless I fly out, and in the mood I'm in, and looking at my bank balance, I really don't feel like making the effort. Don't even know if I want to go and see his dress rehearsal tomorrow as I usually do.

Help - can you all give me an ego boost?

Tanee58 · 15/10/2007 17:29

I feel like I'm a Very Weak Brew .

Please tell me to stop it and pull myself together!

ginnedupumpkin · 15/10/2007 19:37

Oh bloody hell. I just typed a long post and it vanished. WTF !!!
Tannee - that sounds terrible. I'm sure DP isn't deliberately trying to hurt you. Men just don't think do they!
You should definietly have that chat before he goes, just to clear the air as it would be awful if you parted on bad terms, especially for so long. From what you've said before it sounds like he loves you to bits, but is probably being a typical thoughtless man atm. Spell it out to him how you feel.
Anyway, I'm sure TFM and the others will be along soon with some wiser words than mine. I'm rubbish on here. I type as I'm thinking then read the post back and it doesn't make any sense at all (that's if I don't lose it all first!!)

Dior · 15/10/2007 20:19

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Paddlechick666 · 16/10/2007 08:59

morning ladies.

Tanee, hope things are brighter for you today. Men are so self absorbed huh. It's not you that needs the kick up the bum from the sounds of it.

Agree with Dior tho, don't cancel the birthday plans. Try to talk to him it all before he goes tho.

MOH, welcome and please stay and join our gang. Unfortunately our circumstances that have brought us here don't make us any kind of exclusive group!

DTM, how's things?

For those on FB, please check out some changes I've made. Hopefully they will amuse you

Well, I had a late text from H last night. Basically an apology for being so crap. Asked how we were and said he was trying to sort his life out. Says he knows it's too late but that he is sorry and that he knows "from time to time i have lost the best thing that has ever happened to me and i have totally f**ed it up. I know you know that too."

Baffy · 16/10/2007 09:31

pc ignoring him is obviously working. Keep up the good work. That was a tiny glimpse of what he has to come - he needs to go through all this and work it out for himself. And he's starting to by the look of it.

Loving the facebook changes btw

Tanee try not to let him go without talking - if only to get it off your chest. But, having said that, I'd still go to the dress rehersal if I was you as well. Don't do anything you might regret. At the end of the day, you'll never regret giving it 100% and putting everything you have into trying to make it work.
If he doesn't give that back to you, then he will have to live with that guilt in the long run.
I'm not excusing his behaviour at all, but try to tell yourself that things are so much worse with him just about to go off (knowing how he usually gets at this time), so maybe this isn't the right time to do anything much...

This isn't making sense... basically, if I were you, I'd try to talk to him just so you don't have it all bottled up inside you for 2 months, but I'd still go and see the rehersal, visit him as planned etc...
and then when it is over and he's back home, use that as a time to really have all of this out with him and make him understand what he is putting you through and how it makes you feel.
I bet he wouldn't even take it in now anyway would he?
I know how frustrating it must be for you. I wish I had a solution for you!

macd you are amazing - how you cope with what you are going through, holding everything together for the sake of dd, the finances, the OW and the baby, and on top of that having to see them and bump into them... I think you're an absolute star.

TimeForMe · 16/10/2007 09:35

Good Morning Teabags!

Tanee Don't let the dp's self absorbtion get you down, instead of trying to win him round use this time to do things for you. Sod him! Treat yourself nice, spoil yourself. Look at all the positives of having the bed to yourself!! I love having the bed to myself!!!
Be happy, be smiley and be yoursself and just leave him to it. Don't join him in his misery, wait for him to join you in your happiness.
He will, I promise you

PC WOW! We have progress! A text about you and dd! You see, it's working You keep up the good work. H has a long way to go before he is worthy of any response from you.

PS. I don't supposed he mentioned money though did he?

Paddlechick666 · 16/10/2007 13:31

i've put the full text on FB, would like your opinions.

i think he's telling me it's over.........

Baffy · 16/10/2007 14:00

will go on FB now xx

Dior · 16/10/2007 14:07

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Baffy · 16/10/2007 14:21

totally agree dior, that's exactly what I just replied

tbh you'll be sorry you asked - I can really waffle on sometimes!!