Dating thread 173 - Winter is coming - 'cuffing' is optional

[CodLiverOil556]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

Increasing degrees of snoggers @TigerDater I like it!

Well if you don't have pics how will anyone know if they fancy you? Nothing wrong with a selfie. You just have to take about 100 to get a vaguely decent one. Can you not zoom in and cut kids out? I struggle as my kids refuse to take photos of me and there isn't anyone else.

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking ah and so it goes. Just keep wading through them. Goes in waves.

I'm feeling a bit perkier today. I've said I'll organise Xmas drinks at uni so that's me and 30 18 year old girls!

Mr u has gone to visit his parents and I hope he decides to stay there. No idea why I'm still worrying about him. Next time I need to find someone who might look after me a bit too. If I let them...

nomoreweeping that is quite a run of bad luck, a dip on the OLD rollercoaster I guess. The perfect time to get swiping perhaps?

Banghead I’m almost 38 too, seems to be a weird age group, I find most of the men in late 30’s and 40’s have young children or several children by different mothers. My kids are teenagers and I’m not really looking for someone with small children (I want some freedom). I set my age range from 35-47.

@Tigerdater have an image of you now snogging people in the pouring rain in a field!

@bangheadhere40 I struggled to find pics as not a fan of selfies so went through my best holiday ones and just cropped them right in so you couldn't spot my kids on them. There may be an odd stray hand on my shoulder like Thing from the Addams Family but they seem to work OK. I put 6 on and then based on the three people liked the most often on Hinge I took the other 3 off and have a very short profile. I don't think half the men read them anyway

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking that does seem a run of bad luck all at once - maybe just have a nice indulgent weekend to yourself and treat yourself?

Got a few more likes and matches on Tinder and Bumble but running out of steam now and can't be bothered with the slow conversations which are like pulling teeth.

Still messaging my 2 irons with the good chat and wondering if one of them is going to ask me out or I will get bored soon. My awful boring date on Wednesday just showed me that people can be NOTHING like they come across online so don't want to invest in another penpal after Mr Three on POF a couple of months ago where (like someone else said on here) I had to read loads and loads of boring shit about his day in real-time and even so I actually got quite invested in him and started imagining how fab our eventual date would be, but he wouldn't even speak to me on the phone so eventually blocked him. Now I am thinking I dodged a bullet as if I had trekked out to meet him and he hadn't lived up to his month of messages I would have been gutted.

Also, I only have a few free evenings between now and Xmas when DD is out at a friend's and if we don't meet before Xmas I shan't be bothering with messaging them all over the holidays when my son will be home too. Shall I bite the bullet and just tell them when I am free, and then if they don't take me up on it I can bin them off? I really don't understand OLD it is so bizarre. So glad I have you lot to ask!

@Jane1978xx and @eyebrowsofinstagram - good luck on your dates today, hope they go well!

@KhaleesiTargaryen aw that's lovely - flowers and gifts too! I cannot remember the last time someone bought me flowers. I just buy my own.

@shitwithsugaron glad you worked it out with MrB

@unambiguousbeard and @Thing101 - commiserations on the thyroid issues. Hope you get something sorted

Have lovely weekends all of you... I have both my kids around plus nephew tonight, so family time, and friend staying tomorrow night for dinner and drinks. Have a free night on Sunday but unless my irons step up will be catching up on crap telly I imagine! Hope you all have good things planned (or are about to plan them)

utter love a good snog in a field. Like in Four Weddings, when Andi McDowell says “I grew up in the country, lots of rolling around in haystacks” 😊 Unfortunately though I then lived in London for 12 years and became pretty much allergic to rain.

unambiguous brilliant that you are organising the drinks for your 18 year olds. Maybe one of them will bring their fit Dad or uncle along? Stranger things have happened!

Thanks @UtterSocks I think just bite the bullet and ask them out for when you're free- so you've at least got something moving on it. I'm really impatient so usually rush in too soon- but it's that versus it running out of steam of it's own accord.

Or could you do really suggestive messaging to entice them to ask you out??? Easier said than done I guess!!

I need a really big hand hold with this date tonight. I woke up feeling really flat about it. While ever since I saw him last week I've been in an utter frenzy of excitement and lust. And today- absolutely nothing!

I just feel really off. And that's making me scared- so I'm panicking.

I need to sort my life out and just enjoy the fact I'm going out for a drink with a nice man.

I think it's because dtd is on the cards. Yesterday I was well up for it- while today I just feel like running for the hills!!

I won't do anything I don't want to do, it's just that the mood has completely gone which is a shame as I was getting quite excited

I'm 38, Mr G is 46. No issues with either of our ages. We have similarly aged children, which is fun to chat about. Last night I asked him what he liked best about his children and it just melted my heart listening to him talk about how much he loves and likes them.

I've been having a stressful time lately and he makes me laugh and laugh, I'm glad I have him around. Roll on December when he's back in the country - he talks about it a lot, he is determined to see me again as soon as possible. 😍

@eyebrowsofinstagram it's a struggle when nerves/anticipation are heightened for a long period of time. I've noticed it with me, anyway - I can only take so much adrenaline before I crash and feel flat!

I'm 41, Mr Ad is 47.

40 😫.

57 😊

Good luck with the dates today. I used to think of it as just having coffee with a friend, and just relaxed about whether it might turn into 'something'.

Glad the chat went okay shit - I've got some stuff going on too (ex related) and am incredibly busy at work and feel like I have no time so am a bit stressy atm - I've vented at Mr BC (and then apologised) - he's been great.

For the poster who asked, I'm 55 and Mr BC is 48 ...

I'm 36.
And the dates were 30, 31 and 33...

51

Life begins at 40 Jane, no need for the sad emoji 🙂 and 50 for you ambiguous 😀 we need to stay positive.

@lovemusic, my kids are bit older now too, ideally I don't want anyone with young kids.

I know I’ve just spent half my life on one man. Yes I’ll try to think about it like meeting a friend 😬. I travel for work and go out for meals with colleagues and customers I don’t know but this feels different.

Jane...I am nervous for you too and I don't even know you 😀 I'm panicking about tonight for you now 😂 you must give us an update x

It’s ridiculous we should have met months ago. What I’m nervous about is if it’s one sided 😬.

Oh god apart from my current blip my life has been better than it's ever been since about 48.

@bangheadhere40. Thanks 😂. We are meeting at 7 so I have an hour after my daughter goes to her dads to just panic

No expectations, like @BatshitCrazyWoman says, just enjoy meeting someone new. If he's not for you then someone else will be

bangheadhere40 welcome! I'm 52.
Good pics are important. I got a friend to do some for me. We had a few glasses of wine, played around with outfits and lighting, probably took about 100 pics and rejected most.
The ones I used showed me smiling and laughing and looking like I'm just relaxing with friends.

Also don't worry about your weight, there are plenty of men on OLD who say they prefer curvier women.

Date 3 with Mr Dog tonight.
This is a strange one. After we bumped into friends on date 2 the other evening, we're going out with some of my friends again this evening.

The evening out had been planned for a while, but after they met Mr Dog my friends decided that they'd like to invite him to come with us tonight. Which I take as a positive sign.

I've had daily phone calls from Mr D, so although I only met him a week ago, it feels like I've known him longer. Still have a few reservations about him but for now I'm just enjoying his company

I uploaded pics!😀 had a few messages....I had been chatting to one nearby earlier and yesterday and sent him the photos, he seems nice but doesn't initiate any conversation.

Just had a message from a nice looking one....