Dating thread 173 - Winter is coming - 'cuffing' is optional

[CodLiverOil556]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

@UtterSocks I think what @KermitRulesOK said is good advice. I suspect he probably knows it already and regrets it.

Aw @stealthninjamum you were right, he just texted me to apologise for talking about himself and not listening before I even mentioned it.... awww, he said he was nervous and I was lovely and he was really sorry he didn't make a good impression. He's still not for me but glad I let him down nicely. This dating shit is hard!

Just say ‘it was lovely to meet you but I can’t see it going any further, I hope you find who you are looking for’

Sorry, didn’t refresh page

Aw I've just done that @TigerDater - twice now, and he has just texted me again saying please can I give him another chance. It's still a no from me though. I also think he lied about his age ... he is good looking enough but a couple of things he referred to would place him at 5 years older than me rather than 3 years younger. Not that it bothers me but why lie?

In that case I would just not reply

You’ve made your position clear

I would have told him what you said to us about the uber driver! That's really clear feedback for him. I know you've said it a different way now and so perhaps block/delete?

Mr beard has vanished again this evening, he went for a shower a couple of hours ago.

I have a date with Mr Off grid but not for a week or so as he’s off to France next week.

I think I need more irons as Mr beard is doesn’t appear to be very available. I don’t want to have to go back on POF and tinder doesn’t seem to have many nice men in my area 😢

Shit it does seem weird, he’s just reappeared, apparently He was playing his guitar and didn’t realise the time 🤔, I’m hoping he isn’t married but does seem odd that messages all day and then vanishes in the evening.

I have one that messages in the day and disappears in the evening too. And one that takes hours to reply every time. And one that goes online but doesn't read my messages. And then finally my least favourite one texts all the time! Infuriating!

Still chatting to the same person who is too busy to meet. Nightly video calls. Still busy don't know what to think

Too busy to meet but nightly video calls? I don't understand that.

What is wrong with people, I’m sure lots of these men are married. The ones that text all the time are lonely and looking for a pen friend, Mr Skinny would text me non stop all day about boring stuff (what he was eating for lunch, what h was buying in Asda) it got so boring and took up so much of my time, I felt like I was his therapist, have had this with several men and they have all turned out to have major issues.
Fingers crossed I will meet Mr Beard tomorrow and I can work out if he is married or not, I really hope he isn’t because he sounds lovely and has been supportive with a issue I have going on at the moment.

Good luck to anyone with dates today.
I did have someone on Tinder ask me out but I think they were looking for a hook up so I have ignored 🤣

Aaargh tell me it's normal someone to feel flat, depressed, teary and generally low a month post break up. I have no idea it's her so long...

@Lovemusic33 glad you got rid of mr skinny. You were never that fussed about him anyway

@UtterSocks so he was a bore. And not only that, a bore who wouldn't take no for an answer. God I'm so off men at the moment. I don't think OLD makes them very appealing really

@UtterSocks self obsessed and not taking no for an answer... off putting. Has he respected your wishes yet or still pestering?

@Lovemusic33 hope you get some answers tomorrow. I agree, OLD has some strange fruit. I think because it allows people to pretend so easily. Like the social media pantomime.

@Sosounhappy I’d not be answering those video calls. I find these little things slowly hand the reins over and you end up with things on their terms. Nip in bud.

I have date number 2 tonight with chap from weekend who texts just enough to reassure me he is interested and says all the right things to make me smile. Seems very open and genuine. Still not sure what to call him yet...

Fireman remains blocked on everything and I feel huge relief with that distance. Blocked bench is very comfy.. pass the 🍷 @saltysally

@unambiguousbeard of course it's normal. I've only been with Mr R for six months but I love the daily interaction, and I get so much more attention than I did from my exh even though I lived with him. I'd be gutted if Mr Runner did a runner! Sending hugs.

@uttersocks you're so strong, I'd probably feel sorry for him and have a second date and then come on here and moan.

@KhaleesiTargaryen I hope your second date goes well, you deserve it after the shit from Mr Fireman.

@Lovemusic33 I hope it works out well with Mr Beard and he isn't married.

@StealthNinjaMum thanks. But you potentially have a future. We never did. I'm really self reliant and solitary but for the first time since my separation I feel lonely and unsupported. My mum is very ill, my social life is nil, all my friends are in couples. None of this has bothered me before but everything is upsetting me now. I've never been lonely!

Date number I think 4 with Mr S tonight. Looks like I will be wearing my nursing hat tonight. He is ill with either a cold or the flu but he has a heart issue so it's more worrying. I'm going to take some food round to him and we are just going to have a cosy night in front of the TV. Suits me perfectly, really feeling like a couple with him.

@Dancerinthemoonlight 😍🥰

unambiguous I think I am you!

When I started to actually feel lonely I realised I had a bit of a problem, as in 56 years that had never happened. I did a bit of counselling but the main thing that has helped is acknowledging to others that I’m not bloody superwoman and I need support including family, DC, irons/FWBs, friends (whether in couples or not). I don’t regret it at all and the loneliness ebbed away. For now at least

@TigerDater I guess it's partly our time of life. I have no social life. Coming up to 4 child free nights sat at home. Yeah I could go to the cinema or something but I'd just like to go to a pub with some mates or see a band or something.