Dating thread 173 - Winter is coming - 'cuffing' is optional

[CodLiverOil556]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

Great update dancer

Can I join? 4 yr relationship ended a couple of months ago. I've tried bumble and hinge, much preferred hinge! I'm another that can't date multiple people at once so talking to one guy with a date arranged for next week. I'm thinking a casual thing for a welcome distraction/pick me up but open to something more if they're the right person!
He's very nice so far but very early days and no name yet for the thread!

@bigfatfatty19 welcome. This is the best thread evah. I can't multi date either.

This might have been asked before but why does location disappear on Bumble. Does it mean the person is travelling?

@Dancerinthemoonlight hurrah for 22 hour dates! Sounds lovely. Sadly I barely have one hour free before Christmas .

@Peanuthedz, I actually like the phrase ‘utter socks’ and may steal it

Two of my Hinge irons asked me out today. (One clean shaven and the other the ambiguous beard/not beard, for the record). I rather like the look of both. Tricky finding time though, work is busy and I have teenage daughter issues. But both work in my city so a lunchtime coffee or after work wine might not be too utterly impossible.

Also I’m pretty sure one used to work for my friend... he will definitely know her as she is the senior in his organisation. Don’t know whether to mention it or not

What are you all doing at the weekend?

I only have so much free time as I'm recovering from wrist surgery and can't work at the moment. Apparently sending 22 hours together wasn't enough and Mr S and I have spoken on the phone for about an hour tonight. We just find anything and everything to talk about

No dates for me this month, but hopefully some nice chats with Mr G. I have a fair amount of housework and homework to catch up on anyway, so it's fine.

Good luck to everyone on dates this weekend!

ambiguous beard may be my favourite phrase today @Ndotto
Your22 hour date sounds wonderful @MoreNiceCereal
I’m hoping for date #2 with Mr Yorkshire this weekend...fingers crossed

I like it so much I've changed my user name. Person with nut for head is no more. Moving on from Mr Unsuitable to possibly a Mr Suitable or at least a Mr Suitable-for-now.

I'm putting my intention out there, this way all ye with unambiguous beards.

Plus now we have the lovely @Peanutbuttermouth it was a bit confusing.

Oh and once I've sorted some photos I'm back on the apps. Loins girded, skin thickened ready for many many utter socks. 🤣

@Peanuthedz

Ooh thank you! I loved reading the thread up till now. Happy to see some of you meeting nice men!
Please point me to where they are! Haha

@unambiguousbeard

Happy weekend everyone

I had a second lunch date with Mr E yesterday and he's keen to go out for drinks one evening but I'm starting to realise I don't actually have time to date. An hour at lunchtime here and there is easy but I work 3 evenings a week so use up all my childcare favours (mum, sis, friends) while I'm working and there's no time left over for dates! Dc's dad barely sees them and never overnight. I could pay for a babysitter of course but that would end up expensive if it became regular and what about overnights? How do you all manage it?

I have 3 child free nights a week and one day if the weekend. Although that wasn't enough to have a proper relationship really. And see friends. And do hobby. So not sure why I'm trying again!

Hello all. I’m delurking to ask your opinion on this. I’ve been dating a guy I met on Tinder for 2 months. So far so good and we have a lot in common. The thing is that it is pretty much always me who initiates contact (9 times out of 10). We don’t send a morning text but normally by lunchtime/mid afternoon I’ll have the urge to say hi and see how he is. He always responds with a lovely message and quickly. I just think initiating contact shows the other person you are thinking about them.... but he rarely does it first. Do you think it’s a sign he’s just not that into me or just has different messaging needs?

It's hard isn't it @unambiguousbeard I'm so resentful of ex for just disappearing and leaving me holding the babies so to speak! I don't even want that much time to date, one extra night a week would be ample. Guess I'll just bite the bullet and pay a babysitter.

@Lompopo I get really irritated by a good morning or goodnight message. One chat a day of a few messages does me. Unless I have something I want to say particularly. I do expect one a day if I'm seeing someone though. It sounds like different messaging needs if he always answers. Can you hang on and see how long it takes? Without making a point if it so it seems like you're being pass agg

Sorry doesn't seem like you're being passive-aggressive.

Tentatively poking my head back around the door frame....

Some of you may remember Mr 5in1. Some of you may remember me being in a quandary because he started off very open, surprised himself with that and gradually reverted to type. After a few months I had serious reservations and next time I saw him was going to have a standard-setting make or break conversation, then he broke his leg (couldn't drive - long distance away) and not long after that I was hospitalised for a mystery illness I'm still recovering from 10 weeks later. I didn't feel it was right to have that type of conversation over text or phone and so we went into a holding pattern. He's a pessimist I'm an optimist, so you can imagine how draining "how are you today?" texts were after a while. It became a game for me to see if he would ever do any emotional labour once I had dropped it and surprise surprise he didn't pick it up at all. It has been 10 days since I stopped replying to him and I can only assume it's mutual because he hasn't been in touch once.

I'm not well enough to date again yet but I am well enough to consider myself single again. ...hurrah, I think?!

Lots of you loved up on here. What's your secret?!

@Lompopo I NEED a man to initiate conversation with me as it makes me feel he's interested. Do you know him well enough to say how it makes you feel?

@Peanutbuttermouth I used to do lunch dates when my kids were small. It meant they had to be local (but I work in a major city) as I didn't want to use up my babysitting favours on disappointing dates. I did stop for a few years though and started again when my kids were old enough to be left. I have full care so no nights off!

Mr B is taking the break up hard. I'm struggling to handle his emotions. Being the dumper is a weird experience as I am still raw from being dumped myself.

Have you officially ended it? I don't think I could move on without sending a message along the lines of "this doesn't seem to be working for either of us, all the best" etc.

It does sound like you're well rid, though. It must have been very draining indeed. I can't be with a pessimist, either.

@unambiguousbeard I am returning the gesture, witness my glorious new username! I was pretty rubbish at OLD as Ndotto, so maybe it will bring me luck!

Got a message from an iron this morning asking if I actually have time to date. It's the one who called me 'hun" and 'sweetie' so my instinct is 'no'. Just generally time poor, but am planning how to find time for Mr Beardish (as he now is) and possibly another as yet unnamed so guess that says volumes about how I feel. What is a polite way to say 'sorry you seem nice but I have changed my mind'? He lives very near me and now I am sure I will see him in the newsagents when I pop in for a loaf

@Coffeeandchocolate10 I think I would send a note saying something along the lines of what @MoreNiceCereal said, as he sounds draining anyway and you aren't getting much out of the relationship. Also, sorry to hear you are ill

@Lompopo could you just make a joke of it or something? I mean I have actual friends like that, they rarely get in touch but the minute I do we plan something together, and I can also go off grid when I'm stressed and busy. Maybe he doesn't know it bothers you?

Freezing here today and no exciting plans. Hope your dates all go well if you have them

@UtterSocks hahaha yeah I considered that as a name too

@UtterSocks you've been given an out there, just say "yes you're right I've realised I don't have time to date " then unmatch/block

I have a date tonight. I'll call him Mr Dog. This one feels like it might go well. But I have a terrible track record - lots of first dates and very few second dates.
We've spoken on the phone nearly every day this week and got on really well, talking about rubbish most of the time. Which feels really weird because it feels like I know him but we haven't actually met.