Not ‘allowed’ out

[allymcbeal1]

My live in partner has lots of issues with me going out (perhaps 1-2 times) a month with other mums from my dd’s class for a meal or to go to cinema. He says it isn’t right to go out after 8 without him. I work full time and raise my child (from ex husband) and this hassle is wearing me down. Any advice?

You’ve done the right thing, I had a bf at uni like this, totally sucked the joy out of my life. He wanted me to sit in every night with him, have no friends at all, it got worse and worse. I was 18 and should have been out having fun. So glad you’ve told him it’s over. If you conform to what they want it gets worse, like you say he doesn’t want you going out during day with kids either! Dumping mine was the best thing I ever did, have no idea why I went along with it in the first place. The issues are theirs, low self esteem, low confidence.

My dh is from Eastern Europe (non-EU country) and he’s nothing like this so culture isn’t an excuse, he has a few cousins (out of many) who think women are nothing and should do as they’re told but ironically they’re total idiots with rubbish jobs and can’t find women to stick with them as women have lots of freedom in their country now. Nieces go to university, travel, do everything without a man. These men and their misogyny are being left behind (thank god).

Good luck, your freedom is priceless, don’t let anyone take it away, it’s not his to take x x

thanks - his best friend who still lives in his country told him he has to trust me but he can’t. Sorry he can’t change as he has a lot of good qualities as well. Women in eastern Europe do go out!

Did he go without protest @allymcbeal1? How are you feeling today?

He went. He asked for another chance but said no. Said goodbyes to dc and it was all very civilised. Do miss him though.

Well done Op.

Well done OP, I promise you did the right thing for you your children, you are going to show them how women should be treated. Enjoy going out!

Well done @allymcbeal1 - glad it remained civil. Of course you will miss him, but that will fade in time. Really glad you did this for you - and for showing your DC how to stand up for yourself.

Thanks all. A couple of days in and feel better. Can get my lunch from work or a coffee without fear of being asked who with here etc? Can see there is freedom and joy in small things.

Being a full time working parent is hard enough without additional hassle!

It's those things that other people take for granted that can mean the most.

Enjoy your freedom x