Not ‘allowed’ out

[allymcbeal1]

My live in partner has lots of issues with me going out (perhaps 1-2 times) a month with other mums from my dd’s class for a meal or to go to cinema. He says it isn’t right to go out after 8 without him. I work full time and raise my child (from ex husband) and this hassle is wearing me down. Any advice?

Dump him.

Kick his arse to the kerb, make sure you do so before 8pm though!

Don’t threaten him that you’re going to dump him if he doesn’t stop trying to control you. He’ll only change until he thinks you’re too invested in the relationship to leave him. He’s already got you thinking that you’re responsible for his living situation, if you get rid of him.

Few remaining friends? Is he driving them away too? Trying to isolate as well as control?

Seriously dump his controlling arse. You know this isn't ok. In any way shape nor form.

I’m not sure why but I think it’s cultural. He’s not actually a misogynist but he has grown up in a culture where women don’t have any independence.

Yea. I had one like that. Fucked him off. Not having my son growing up soaking that shit up.

We have both thrived.

I am married to a Slovak (is that eastern or Central European - discuss ) and we live in Slovakia and my husband would never behave in this way. There are men here who do but they are problematic men living in the past just like yours is!

Do you really want your DD growing up thinking the man of the house calls all the shots?

"Culture" my ass. He's just a twat

he grew up in a more traditional east European country so that makes it difficult to ask him to leave as would be hard for him to go home and he is t financially independent to live here on his own

That is his issue to sort out. You can’t stay with your life on hold, not going out after 8pm, because he can’t pay his bills.
Dump him!

Just dump him. I’m sure he has no problems going out himself after 8 without you!

as would be hard for him to go home and he is t financially independent to live here on his own

This is a very good thing. Get rid of him with the extra security that he'll be far, far away from you afterwards.

My dp is also eastern European and is the exact same he just likes me socialising with him.

You mean he's controlling, jealous and insecure.

Incidentally I went out with s polish guy who would never gave dreamed of trying to tell me if I could go out or not.

*have dreamed

That is his issue to sort out. You can’t stay with your life on hold, not going out after 8pm, because he can’t pay his bills.
Dump him!

Seconded.

I experienced a bit if this in a relationship and it is draining, stressful, stifling, frustrating, suffocating and upsetting. Even the prospect of broaching an evening out has your shoulders up at your ears with stress.

It's not right and these guys never change.

Op ive had this from XH but he was Middle Eastern but still an ex

He isn't your dad, it's not illegal to have friends and him controlling you is unhealthy and disrespectful.

Why is he your partner?

Will tell him to leave. Another issue is he has debts and will probably go home. Hope won’t be liable for them as they are at my address.

They're not in your name, are they?

Not your problem, then.

Hi MitziK - not they are not in my name thankfully!

Dump him ASAP

Get rid of the loser

He can go back to the 18th century his own country if he needs to. Don't try to mother a grown man. He would throw you under a fucking bus to control you.

Bye bye Felipe.

Did he move here to be with you? Just wondering if your relationship was a door for him to get in the country? He's a twat anyway.

I dumped a guy because he didn’t ’allow‘ me to go on holiday without him. Ehmmm nope, dumped him and went on holiday. So I would break up.

When he goes then forward any mail to his family, get rid. Good luck, you can do it.